"What do you mean…?"
He leaned closer and kissed me square on the lips. I kept quiet… I couldn't say anything. I didn't exactly know how to react. He scooted closer and kissed me again. This time, I sorta kissed him back. And before I knew it, he was on top of me...
For a time, he just hovered over me, kissing my neck and straddling me. Then he pulled himself between my legs.
I was terribly nervous, and he could tell. When I breathed, my lips trembled. And once he began to kiss underneath my chin, my blood grew warm, and my skin quickly became feverish.
"Jesse, I don't think we should-"
"Mmhm, shhh…" he murmured, covering my mouth with his own.
"Don't think with your head," he interrupted whilst kissing down my throat and across to the side of my neck. "Use your body…"
I was so ashamed, but it felt so amazing… The feel of his hot breath excited me. And, his warm hands gripped my body in places I've never really noticed all that much, until now.
When he kissed between my neck and shoulder, I shuddered. I even whimpered a bit... And, I was embarrassed, but he didn't seem to notice. My rapid breathing, the whining and moaning, it all excited him. So, he kissed between my shoulder and neck again. And sure enough, I moaned a little longer that time. A little louder too.
Feeling abashed, I closed my eyes and tilted my head back. I tried to pretend that I was someone else… someone older… someone who wasn't embarrassed about sex; someone who was bold and brazen…unashamed. I might have finally released the sexual goddess within me if it wasn't my first time…
After minutes of touching and kissing and exploring, Jesse wanted to go further… But, I wasn't sure that I wanted to just yet… The exploration was gratifying enough.
I couldn't deny that I was curious… but something was keeping me from completely turning my body over to him.
He must have done this thousands of times…to many pretty girls… And now, it was my turn… But, I couldn't bring myself to go through with it…I convinced him to slow down for me. He took the hint and rolled over.
It was 5:47… but, it looked like midnight. I laid on my stomach beside Jesse; he kissed my shoulder and back and ran his fingers along my leg. If he had seen my facial expressions, he might've stopped… but my body told a different story. I still wanted him.
My cell phone went off all of a sudden. I reached onto the dresser to answer it, and saw that it was a text…from… Cat! Damn, she sure had some impeccable timing.
--> 5:52PM I cant talk to you for a while, Jen… I can't explain.
<-- 5:53PM Why, what's wrong?
--> 5:53PM I can't explain… don't text me back, alright? I'll text you when I can think…
Yea… Cat really had some impeccable timing… but, she didn't always know what to say and when to say it…
"What is it?" Jesse asked, kissing my arm. "Your mom's coming?"
"No… She won't be here until nine."
"Then, what's wrong?"
"Nothing," I said, smiling nervously. "Just… a text from a friend…"
"Alright," he said, kissing around to my throat.
I thought pensively for a short time… Then when Jesse chanced to kiss my neck again, I turned my head and kissed him on the lips. He was surprised, but he didn't object… I planted long, deep kisses, one after the other. And soon, I found myself climbing on top of him, still kissing and somewhat biting his lip. Cat doesn't want me… but he does… So, I'll give him all of me…
I kissed his jaw and neck… I kissed underneath his chin too, but… he didn't seem to like that very much because he cupped my face and redirected my enthusiasm.
I put his hands on my breasts; my cheeks turned bright red as he groped and squeezed and rubbed his thumbs over my tender bosom.
He pulled my shirt off and leaned forward to kiss my chest. It felt good for a short while… But when he began to sort of suckle, it made me feel somewhat uncomfortable… I covered back up to show him that I didn't like it, and he seemed to take the hint very quickly.
He leaned forward and pushed me off of him; then, he pinned me down to the bed.
"Now a few minutes ago, you were sure that you weren't ready."
"But, now you are?" he asked. "I don't get it…"
Since I was pinned, I couldn't do much. So, I leaned forward and caught his bottom lip with my teeth then slowly released…
"What is there to get?" I said in a soft whisper, then laid down again.
With that, Jesse leaned down, his face hovering over mine… Our lips were barely touching. Then he let go of my wrists.
I remember it like--like I was watching a movie or something… The jingle of his buckle… then the thud of his belt hitting the carpeted floor… the sound of his zipper, slowly coming down… his sudden heavy breathing when pulling the excited bulge out of his pants… the feel of his hands searching my body… and my puerile reaction when he entered…
Second by sluggish second, he eased a bit more of himself inside, until he had finally gone far enough. I breathed deeply, waiting for him to move again… bracing myself for the pain and sudden gratification that would come with it… But, he didn't stir right away.
He was still for a while; he showered my face with kisses. Then, he kissed my ear, whispering to me, telling me how well I was doing… telling me that it would be alright… And, I believed him.
And after minutes of petting me, he pulled out slightly. Then, he slowly pushed back inside. I whimpered pitifully… unable to fathom the feeling of pain and pleasure so finely mingled together. After a few slow movements, I found myself tightening my legs around him.
Whenever he'd pull away from me, I felt like… I needed him to come back… I wanted to pull him closer and closer until he just…meshed with my body. I tried, but holding him there wasn't such a good idea. It hurt like hell to keep him still; so, I reluctantly loosened my grip.
He rested the side of his face against my cheek… When I attempted to squeeze him closer to me again, I could feel that crooked grin of his forming across his face.
His slow, careful thrusts soon became quicker and quicker until…something strange happened. I screamed… very loudly. I thought maybe the entire block had heard me scream, but I didn't care. Jesse tried to kiss me to muffle some of the sound, but half of the noise had already been made by then.
I fell to the bed and breathed heavily… My body trembled… Minutely, Jesse stayed on top of me, kissing and whispering in the darkness…
* * *