I blushed a little, feeling a tad bit warm although it was cold.
Jesse pulled off his shirt… and, he unbuckled his belt. He placed
one hand beside my head and leaned down towards my face.
"Shhh…" he said, placing a finger to my quivering lips. "Keep
quiet for me, okay?"
He grinned… Then, he leaned closer to my trembling body and
pressed himself against me. And then, very slowly, he came
It was a little easier this time, to let him in… But, I hadn't
quite gotten accustomed to the feeling. I admit, it did hurt.
And, I whimpered a little. But before I could get any louder,
Jesse went still.
"Shh, shh," he said, touching my face and kissing my forehead.
"You have to be quiet… Remember?"
"Mhm," I said, between breaths, trying to suppress a rebellious
moan rising in my throat.
He began again, sluggishly thrusting inward and out… It was
difficult for me to keep quiet, but I tried as hard as I could. I
unraveled my arms from around his neck and, I dragged my hands
and fingers across his back. And with each slow, powerful thrust,
I found myself digging my nails deeper into his skin. In a low
voice, he groaned softly and kissed and nipped at the side of my
Eventually, I couldn't keep quiet anymore… His thrusts were
painful, but the feel of his body pressed against mine felt
so--good. If my mother catches us, so be it. But, I just can't
hold it anymore. I took one portly breath and prepared myself to
moan or to scream or to buck and reel under the weight of his
body.But just before the sound could completely escape me, Jesse
put his hand over my mouth.
A muffled scream surfaced, and Jesse tried to keep me silent.
"Shhh, shhh," he urged, but I couldn't obey. I was too far gone.
I was finishing, and he was still somewhere in the middle.
Soon, his thrusts lost all traces of pleasure and were quickly
becoming painful. I tried begging him to be more gentle, but I
couldn't speak clearly with his hand clasped so tightly over my
I flinched and stomached the pain until he finished and climbed
off of me. I touched my mouth with trembling fingers, then buried
my face into the pillow. When feeling Jesse snuggle up closely
behind me, I pulled my legs together tightly and pulled the
blankets up over my chest.
I fell asleep with Jesse's arms wrapped around me and his lips
gently brushing against the nape of my neck.
When I opened my eyes, it was dark all around me. The sun had set
long ago, and it was getting cold. I pulled Jesse's arms from
around me and climbed out of bed. He was sleeping soundly,
partially wrapped within my bed sheets. He didn't appear to be
cold at all.
I closed and buttoned up my shirt, then tipped to the bathroom. I
locked the door and sat on the counter. I felt different than
before… My body ached, and I was weak.
I turned around and glanced into the mirror. My face--it was
stained with tinges of red… I touched the brim of my lips…
Everything hurt so badly.
I hopped down from the counter and reached into the cabinet above
the sink and retrieved a bottle of iodine. I dipped a cotton swab
into the bottle and debated about whether I should use it on my
My cheeks and jaw hurt the most. There was where Jesse's fingers
had pressed down into my skin when trying so desperately to keep
I looked at my face in the mirror and slowly traced a light-red
mark from my cheek and down to my neck… The left side of my neck
was completely red and appeared to be bruised.
"Oh my god, he gave me a hickey…" I said, touching the red bruise
with nervous fingers.
I dipped the cotton swab again and touched it to the rubicund
bruise that obscured my wan skin.
It stung too badly to treat with antiseptic. Iodine was
definitely not the answer to curing me of this tell-tale mark.
I was upset--I was angry. The rising blood of my frustration
filled my face and flooded the stains of red that Jesse's hand
had left upon my cheek and jaw. Soon, only the bruise about my
neck, which was quickly turning plum colored, stood out like a
I pulled up my collar and brushed my hair into my face, allowing
it to sprawl over my shoulders and back. I looked into the mirror
again; I seemed to have concealed the mark well enough… But, I
knew deep down what was beneath my innocent guise.
I threw away the cotton swab and put the iodine back inside the
medicine cabinet. Then, I grabbed a pair of sweat pants from the
shower rack and put them on. Then, I walked out of the bathroom
and crawled back into bed beside Jesse. He immediately moved
closer, sealing the space between our bodies, and wrapped his
arms around me once again.
"Where did you go?" he asked, brushing my hair back behind my
"To the bathroom…" I said, not realizing that he had been awake
since I left.
"You spent a very long time in there."
"I was caught off guard by--the mirror," I said, burying the side
of my face within the pillow again.
"How do you mean ?"
"Well… My face is a little bruised…but, it's kind of better now,"
I said in a hushed voice. "And my neck…"
"What about it?"
"It looks freakish, Jesse…" I said, pulling my hair back over my
"Wait, wait…" he said, pushing my hand away. He brushed my hair
back and pulled down my collar. "It's not so bad…"
"Not so bad?"
"No, it could be far worse… Sometimes, I don't let go," he said,
"That's not funny…" I said, sitting up and hugging my knees.
He leaned forward and kissed my shoulder.
"Jen, please… Don't be so uptight."
"You think I like this…? --being so uptight? I have to be this
way. Because if I don't, you're gonna get me in trouble with my
"I can't control what I do in the heat of passion… Things just
"…" I sighed significantly. "I know… But you have to be more
"Yes, definitely, of course…" Jesse said.
"What am I gonna do about this mark?"
"Well, it's November… It's cold… wear a scarf."
"But I never wear scarves… My mom--"
"Your mom won't notice a thing. Just wear the scarf for a while.
It'll be gone within a week."
"Yes," he said in a comforting voice. "I'm sure…"