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Helena is just a normal, fucked up teenager. At least she thinks. She still has her friends. No wait scratch that. She still has her friend. Or, she had him. When events in Jespers life get too much for him to handle, he decides to do it. End his own life. After Helena finds out that he has gone, she considers doing the same. But a weird feeling in her gut tells her not to. And even though she ignores it, and still tries, lets just say... she gets stopped. And even so, even more fucked up things happen. View table of contents...



Submitted:Jan 8, 2013    Reads: 108    Comments: 9    Likes: 2   

"Burning on, just like the match you strike to incinerate the lives of everyone you knew." - Helena, My Chemical Romance.


I got my supplies ready for school again. Yeah, I know its morning, but being a total videogame geek keeps you up all night, then you remember you didn't do your homework the next morning. Luckily I did most of it at school, so I only had a little bit to do. I grabbed my iPod, full of old music that I only listen to because I can't really be bothered to get more music, put it in my pocket, put my backpack on, and walked out the door, with a quick 'bye' before I actually left. I walked down to the bus stop and waited.

I kind of hate being 'me' since I'm very shy. I mean very shy. This is why I hate that the school bus stops at the public bus stop. One, sometimes there are other people, two the bus waits for me, and they never get the message that I don't ride that particular bus. I could avoid it by going out a minute later than usual, but then I miss my regular bus. Well, I don't miss it, it waits for me, but the bus driver gets very pissed off. He gives me a look like 'you do this all the time, will you ever learn the bus comes at 7:13?' I just shrug it off, even though it still disturbs me. He probably thinks I'm a complete idiot. Well who cares, everyone else does, even though they haven't even got to know me well.

I got on the bus and sat in my usual seat. My bus is basically empty, so I get a seat all by myself. I enjoyed the silence for a while, but the elementary students also ride the bus, so do the middle school kids. While the younger kids started acting up, the middle school girl tried to calm them down while telling a story about some magic or something. I just simply ignored and went on to listen to my music.

I went in my backpack to get out a list of music Jesper, my best friend, recommended me to listen to. He listed a couple of bands, but he bolded one song: Helena by My Chemical Romance. "I so need to get more music." I mumbled to myself.

When the bus arrived at school, I walked slowly into the building, letting the crowd of other students push me around until I got to the staircase to go up to my locker. I pass Jespers locker on my way to mine, so I stopped by to say hi.

"Hey," I said while walking up to him, stopping whatever conversation he had going on with Lily. I hate Lily, Lily hates me, case closed.

"Say 'excuse me' much?" Lily asked, rudely. Obviously, she didn't really care about Jesper; I could see it in her blue eyes that were a little too common around here. Her lust overruled her love, and I just wished that Jesper would see it.

"Lily, can you please treat her like she's any other human being and not some dog you found on the streets?" Jesper said. He loved her. He hated and loved her at the same time. She'll hurt him, but the next day he'll give her roses and apologize for something he didn't even do.

"We were having some alone time until she showed up, I can't let her interrupt."

"Whatever." I cut in while I turned to walk away. "Don't forget about lunch." I yelled back, purposely setting an argument between him and Lily. I didn't do it to punish him, or try to break them up. Okay, maybe a little, but it's mostly so he could see how much she didn't trust him. She knows Jesper and I have been friends for a very long time, and we intend for it to stay that way, sadly. I had to admit, I loved him, but, I'm not sure if it's just some kind of hormonal thing, or actual feelings. I but my bag in my locker at got out my books for my first class, the first class that is always dreaded by me because it's 45 minutes of Lily glaring at me from the corner of her eye shadow drenched eyes. Why did she have to be my freaking lab partner?


At lunch, Jess and I walked over to a little sandwich stand close to the school. If I had a diary, I would classify this as a date. I don't like diaries because having a lock and key is just asking for someone to try to open it.

"So, how did the argument end up in? Disaster, I'm guessing." I joked while taking a bite of my ham and Swiss cheese sandwich.

"Well, she is being quite a bitch these days; she seems to care more about Kyle than anyone else." See, she's already planning her next meal. "I mean, during math, all she did was stare at him with her flirty eyes and crap." Yikes, that must suck. I mean, seriously? He didn't take the hint ten months ago when they started going out.

"I've been trying to tell you that she's no good; she's the complete opposite of good. She couldn't even trust that we were just friends; we have been for years, and I intend for it to stay that way."

His pale gray eyes darkened at this point. I was ready for whatever defense he had to put out about Lily. But instead, he sighed, and his gray eyes softened back to their silvery quality. "You're right; she's no good, but since when is love ever good." He was being a bit emotional right now. Something tells me this fight isn't over yet.

"I wasn't trying to split you guys up; it's just that I wanted to prove that she wasn't trusty. I'm really sorry if I ruined it."

"We're still together, Helena." He started to laugh, but not with joy; with pity. "It's just, I've been thinking a lot, and I think that she and I should end it." No, no, I'm so not going to be the reason for their break up, I'm going to fix this.

"No, Jesper, I can see that you really love her. If you think you can keep it up for the next few years, try to." Okay, I honestly don't give a shit about what happens between Lily and Jesper, but I think I should seem like I care.

"Wait, you're being a hypocrite; do you think I should keep dating her or not?" He asked, forgetting that I hate Lily, and almost everything I say about her will not be good.

"You should, I'm the one who messed it up in the first place, just carry on. I'll just go along with my life having to resist the urge to punch her right in the face." I joked. He hates it when I joke about hurting people, especially since we both hurt ourselves. I don't do so physically, more of an emotional thing. He's said that I'll care too much, but then the thing I care about will leave. He, on the other hand, has scars racing up his left arm; only his left. I've tried to stop him, but after he continued to do so, I decided not to try anymore.

"Yeah right, you wouldn't hurt anyone, no matter how much you hate them." He was right. It's hard for me to actually try to intentionally hurt someone. I'm a little too nice when it comes to things like that. I also hate getting in fights; they're a total waste of time.

"Wow, you're really being a smart ass today." I said bluntly. He gave me a look like 'do you really want to call me that?' "Hey, whenever I say it, you should be taking it as a compliment." He just rolled his eyes and dragged me back to school. I smiled vengefully while I thought: What would Lily think of this; Jesper and I walking in together. I chuckled silently as I thought about her next explosion.


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