……………………. We all spent the night dancing and drinking and
catching up with Xander and Jackson I sat down and put my feet up
across Kerions lap.
"So I have to ask you this because I love you and you're my
cousin" Xander sat next to me I looked at him "He's old enough to
be your Dad what the hell are you doing?"
"Chad" he nodded in the Direction of where Chad was talking to
his brother and Pete "We all say the pictures in the magazine
Reba delighted in showing us all… and then we walk in here I look
round to find you and you two are missing and in the limo still"
"There's nothing going on" I put my head on his shoulder "I swear
to you Chad and I were talking that's all"
"He had your lipstick on him and his shirt was inside out"
"We're giving the press something and nothing that's all" I
looked at him "Xander on Jess's life I swear that Chad and I are
friends only, he's like a big brother" Xander leant back and
looked at me.
"Okay but what about Dimi?"
"For now I'm done Xander I've spent the last 3 years in a
controlling relationship that took so much out of me I can't even
begin to tell you how low I really did get" I got up "You want to
go talk some where quieter?" he nodded we both walked away from
the noise of the club to the outdoor terrace and sat on one of
the outdoor couches only the thud of the bass and the chirp of
crickets the only sounds out there
"I can't believe we're in Spain" Xander smiled as he looked round
"So where were we?" I ran y finger down the side of the beer
bottle I had.
"Talking about Dimitri" I sighed "I love him I can't help it he's
I don't know he's what I wanted in a guy till I realized he
doesn't like not being in control of things he's so like his Mom"
I chewed the inside of my cheek "Why didn't you call me and let
me know about him and Reba?"
"Oh yeah what am I supposed to do call you hey Chris guess what
happened when we all went to the beach last night. Dimi and Reba
got groanie in the dunes and she screamed his name loud enough to
drown out the ocean" Xander held out his arms "How was I supposed
to tell you that and break your heart?" I felt a heavy feeling in
my chest "Believe me he's basically only hanging round with her
everyone he was close to has told him he's an idiot"
"Did he and Reba hook up"
"Do we have to go there?" He looked away from me and drank his
"The day that he got back from seeing you in Wisconsin"
"You're kidding" my heart was in my throat and I felt like I
wanted to be sick "After everything he did and said when he came
up there… after he told me he wouldn't hurt me" I got up and
paced "After he told me how much he loved me and after… after…"
Xander got up quickly and wrapped his arms round me. I was
gasping for air .
"And you wonder why I didn't tell you?" he moaned "Chris calm
down" HE sat me down on the couch and knelt on the floor "I'm
sorry no one told you but look at what you're doing with your
life look at what you have now"
"Am I such a bad person that I can't find a guy that is good" I
wiped the tears "What did I do that was so wrong?"
"Hey you guys okay?" Jackson walked over to us.
"I just told her about Dimitri" Xander said not taking his eyes
"Oh" Jackson sat next to me "Chris I'm sorry he's such a douche
"I need a drink" I got up and walked awayfrom them back into the
noise of the club and walked over to the table and poured a shot
of Jack from the bottle on the table.
"Hey" Kerion touched my arm "you've been crying"
"Yeah" I knocked back the drink and poured another "I hope to
good you guys are good with me getting drunk off me ass tonight
because that's the plan right now" I sniffed knocking back the
shot. "I need to talk to Chad" I picked up the bottle and walked
past Kerion. I felt empty right now all I had was the band and my
little sister and I had to gold onto that as much as possible
right now to stop me from going totally insane.
"Hey You" Chad smiled moving up the seat he was in for me to sit
down "How's it seeing your family"
"Right now it sucks" I poured a drink Ryan looked at Chad
"Yeah you find out stuff that hurts like a bitch" I knocked the
drink back and reached for the bottle Mike took it from me "Hey"
"Chris what's going on?"
"I'm getting drunk"
"Well we can see that" Ryan said taking the glass from me
"If Kerion, Alfie and Pete agree will you take us on" I slurred
the effects of the jack starting to hit me
"What do you mean?" Chad leant forward and narrowed his eyes
"Whoa what happened?"
"Remember what I said about feeling like a puppet" Chad nodded
"well I'm a puppet that's being made to look like an idiot" I
ground my teeth together "I'm not going to be pushed by someone
just because I'm supposed to be the right person for Dimitri"
"Okay honey you're drunk" Chad put his hand over mine "we're
willing to become your managers but we can talk about this
tomorrow when we've all had a lot less to drink"
"Fine" I shook my head "I'm going to back to the hotel"
"You want me to take you?"
"Right now I don't know what I want" I felt the tears prick my
eyes again, I took a deep breath "I'm sorry" I stood up "You took
a risk with us and I'm a damn basket case" I grabbed my purse and
turned on my heel and headed for the exit Xander caught up to me.
"Xander right now don't okay… I'm hurt I'm drunk and I'll say
something that will upset both of us" I shrugged. Kerion came
"I'll take you back" I nodded and linked his arm as we headed
out. Why the hell was this happening? I wanted to go to bed and
wake up and for the whole Dimitri thing to have gone away………………….