....................... Performing in front of 3000 service men and women had to be the best feeling ever. Giving them just a little something of normality on the edge of a warzone was a feeling I loved. All too soon we were returning to Germany to hop a flight to Italy for the next chunk of the tour, the flight back was amazing flying back with guys returning home after so long away. For the second time we got into a duel on board singing this time Chad was on one side of the plane and I was on the getting everyone on the flight singing. The flight passed so quickly and we landed at a rain soaked Ramstein I pulled up the collar of the Marine Jacket we'd been given as we stepped down on to the tarmac.
"Three weeks and we'll be back again flying out" Lukas said as a limo was waiting to pick us up
"It's an experience… and it should be as good the next time around" I sighed as I got in the car and turned on my phone for first time since we left four days earlier, everyone else was silent and doing the same thing.
Four voice mails I sighed and hit play resting my head on Alfie's shoulder as he was already talking to Heidi.
***Hi honey, just checking in and I wanted to say there's news reporters everywhere right now trying to find out about you… anyway I love you and your sister misses you… oh and it's Dad by the way***
The end of his message made me smile I moved the phone and skipped to the next one
***Christine… Sweetheart getting married? you never said honey your dad will be so mad with you but I have to say you've got a nice piece of ass with the Canadian there… the book is going so well right now I'll be waiting for you in Italy your Sister told me where you'll be and when… Ciao***
"Great remind me to kill Jess" I said looking at Pete he smiled and shook his head as he went back to texting, I skipped to the next one
***Okay… I'm your cousin and you swore nothing was going on with you and Chad... Christine do I need to come over to you and kick your ass…? Still love you but the press is pissing off everyone hanging round trying to ask questions about you even up in Wisconsin… Chris I hope to god they don't dig too deep… okay coach is yelling at me Love ya talk to you soon***
I sat up and moved to the next message
***Wow Chris you really don't hang around do you…? I mean the ring, the pictures, kissing him… you and him wow… I hope he's good in the sack because you weren't… I don't know why Arron ever came back for more sex with you was never hot… remember some of us knew you before you thought you were better than everyone else… Chad will get pissed off with you soon as well and you'll be washed up looking like a mess and I can sit back and laugh***
My hand was over my mouth as I listened to the angry words pour from Dimitri's mouth. I closed my eyes and fought back the tears. All the good feelings and memories were quickly pushed to the back of my mind. I wrapped my arms round myself and hugged as tight as I could. How could he say things like that to me the hate and malice that had been in his voice was horrible… he had done everything he could to get me naked and into bed every chance he got… What's the bet it was some sick bet he'd had with Reba about getting the new weird band geek into bed.
"Chris" I felt a warm hand on my shoulder, I looked up at Pete "You okay?"
"Yeah, just peachy" I sniffed my voice nothing more than a whisper
"Bullshit you look like you want to curl up and die" he lowered his voice and moved so he was blocking me from the others "Who left you a message because if it was Reba then you need to ignore her" I shook my head
"Dimitri left one" I murmured "How can one guy hurt me more than Arron did?" Pete got wide eyed and Lukas looked round at the mention of Arron and Dimitri in the same sentence. "What did I do?" I was trying so hard not to break and not to let everyone know and I was beginning to fail.
The limo glided to a halt at the airport, I was out of the door before the driver was out from behind the wheel. I pushed my way through the crowds of people to get to the nearest bathroom, managing to get into the bathroom stall before I threw up. There were murmurs outside the door and my name intermixed with German and other languages. I wiped my mouth and straightened up before I opened the door and stepped out I walked over to the sink a couple of people taking pictures with their phones as I splashed water on my face.
"Chris… Chris" Lukas was calling my name through the bathroom door. I walked by everyone gawking at me with my head down and opened the door.
Kerion was standing with Lukas both of them looking stressed with two of our security guards. I reached for Kerion's ball cap that was in his hand and pulled it on my head pulling the peak down
"What's going on?" Kerion rubbed my arm
"I felt ill" I said quietly not looking at anyone "Can we go?"
"Sure we've got a private jet waiting" Lukas nodded worry etched over his face, Kerion moved closer to me as the body guards blocked anyone else from taking pictures as we walked through the airport to a private lounge with everyone else inside.
"We found her" Lukas said his voice sounding a little less stressed. I sat down by the window and looked out at the sleek black jet waiting for us my hands were shaking . I couldn't get Dimitri's words out of my head. "Okay now where the hells Pete gone" he threw his hands up
"He had to grab something" Chad was looking at me "Chris what's going on?"
"I felt sick" I shrugged, not looking at him 'Chad will get pissed with you soon" echoed round my head "I'm sorry"
"Hey, rather you puke in the bathroom than in the limo" Dan said rubbing my back and handing me a bottle of water. Pete skidded in.
"Okay we nearly left without you" Lukas smirked come on" he walked to the door which an overly made up flight attendant pushed open for him, batting her fake eyelashes at all the guys as they walked by her. I stayed in the chair for a moment still looking out at the waiting Jet.
"We can't leave without you" Mike took my hand and pulled me up "Wow is it one of those none guy hug moments" he chuckled lifting the cap from my face and bent his head to look at me
"I don't…" he cut me off by pulling me to him and hugging me close images of Ryder flashed in my mind and then ones of Dimi making love to me by the water in the summer house after the party. I gripped on to Mikes shirt as I shook.
'Hey it's okay" I heard Chad's voice as he stroked my hair and the tears soaked the front of Mikes shirt. I was sandwiched between them.
"I think we need to get her on the flight" Mike murmured
"Yeah… Chris can you walk?" I nodded both of them held on to me as we walked through the doors and out to the plane.
"Are you fucking kidding me?' I heard as we walked up the steps. I don't think I'd ever heard Kerion yell at anyone before "someone needs to kick his Russian ass so damn hard he'll choke on a shoe"
"Shut up" Alfie hissed "We shouldn't have listened to it"
'We should we need to know what's going on" Lukas butted in "and…" he stopped as he saw me "Chris as soon as we take off you try to get some sleep okay" he was trying to smile "Let's hope it's just something you've eaten"
I sat down in a chair and fastened the seat belt, I wasn't going to argue with anyone hell right now I was lucky not to be in the bathroom with a bottle of pills and a razor for good measure, I turned and looked out of the window at the slowly darkening sky as everyone else settled down my eyes gradually sliding closed………