....................... Performing in front of 3000 service men
and women had to be the best feeling ever giving them just a
little something of normality on the edge of a warzone was a
feeling I loved. All too soon we were returning to Germany to hop
a flight to Italy for the next round of Nickelback gigs the
flight back was amazing flying back with guys returning home
after so long away again we got into a duel on board singing this
time Chad was on one side of the plane and I was on the other and
we got everyone on the flight singing. The flight passed so
quickly and we landed at a rain soaked Ramstein I pulled up the
collar of the Marine Jacket we'd been given as we stepped down on
to the tarmac.
"Three weeks and we'll be back again flying out" Lukas said as a
limo was waiting to pick us up
"It's an experience" I sighed as I got in the car and turned on
my phone for first time since we left 4 days earlier everyone
else was silent and doing the same. Four voice mails I sighed and
hit play resting my head on Alfie's shoulder as he was chatting
away already to Heidi.
***Hi honey just checking in and I wanted to say there's news
reporters everywhere right now trying to find out about you…
anyway I love you and your sister misses you… oh and it's Dad by
The end of his message made me smile I moved the phone and
skipped to the next one
***Sweet heart getting married? you never said honey your dad
will be so mad with you but I have to say you've got a nice piece
of ass with the Canadian there… the book is going so well right
now I'll be waiting for you in Italy your Sister told me where
you'll be and when… Ciao***
"Great remind me to kill Jess" I said looking at Pete he smiled
and shook his head as he went back to texting I skipped to the
***Okay I'm your cousin and you swore nothing was going on.
Christine do I need to come over to you and kick your ass…? Still
love you but the press is pissing off everyone hanging round
trying to ask questions about you even up in Wisconsin… Chris I
hope to god they don't dig too deep… okay coach is yelling at me
Love ya talk to you soon***
I sat up and moved to the next message
***Wow Chris you really don't hang around do you…? I mean the
ring, the pictures… you and him wow… I hope he's good in the sack
because you weren't… I don't know why Arron ever came back for
more… remember some of us knew you before you thought you were
better than the rest of us… Chad will get pissed off with you
soon as well and I'll laugh my ass off***
My hand was over my mouth as I listened to the angry words pour
from Dimitri's mouth I closed my eyes and fought back the tears.
All the good feelings and memories were quickly pushed to the
back of my mind I wrapped m y arms round myself and hugged as
tight as I could how could he say things like that to me… he had
used me to get laid… what's the bet it was some sick bet he'd had
with Reba about getting the new weird band geek into the sack.
"Chris" I felt a warm hand on my shoulder I looked up at Pete
"Yeah just peachy" I sniffed whispering to him
"Bullshit you look like you want to curl up and die" he moved so
he was blocking me from the others "Who left you a message
because if it was Reba then you need to ignore her" I shook my
"Dimitri left one" I murmured "How can one guy hurt me more than
Arron did?' Pete got wide eyed and Lukas looked round at the
mention of Arron and Dimitri in the same sentence. "What did I
do?" I was trying so hard not to break and not to let everyone
know and I was beginning to fail. The limo glided t a halt at the
airport I was out of the door before the driver was out of his. I
pushed my way through the crowds of people to get to the nearest
bathroom I managed t get into the bathroom stall before I threw
up. I could hear murmurs outside the door and my name intermixed
with German I wiped my mouth and straightened up before I opened
the door and stepped out I walked over to the sink a couple of
people taking pictures with their phones as I splashed water on
"Chris… Chris" Lukas was calling my name through the door I
walked by everyone gawking at me with my head down and opened the
door Kerion was standing with Lukas looking worried with two of
our security guards I reached for Kerion's ball cap that was in
his hand and pulled it on my head pulling the peak down "What's
"I felt ill" I said quietly not looking at anyone "Can we go?'
"Sure we've got a private jet" Lukas nodded worry etched over his
face Kerion moved closer to me as the body guards blocked anyone
else from taking pictures as we walked through the airport to a
private lounge all the guys were waiting inside.
"We found her" Lukas said his voice sounding a little less
stressed I sat down by the window and looked out at the sleek
black jet waiting for us my hands were shaking . I couldn't get
the words out of my head. "Okay where the hells Pete gone"
"He had to grab something" Chad was looking at me "Chris what's
"I felt sick" I shrugged 'Chad will get pissed with you soon"
echoed round my head "I'm sorry"
"Hey rather you puke in the bathroom than in the limo" Dan said
rubbing my back and handing me a bottle of water. Pete skidded
"Okay we nearly left without you" Lukas smirked come on" he
walked to the door which an overly made up flight attendant
pushed open for him batting her fake eyelashes at all the guys as
they walked by her. I stayed in the chair for a moment
"We can't leave without you" Mike took my hand and pulled me up
"Wow is it one of those none guy hug moments" he chuckled lifting
the cap from my face.
"I don't…" he cut me off by pulling me to him and hugging me
close images of Ryder flashed in my mind and then ones of Dimi
making love to me by the water in the summer house after the
'Hey it' s okay" I heard Chad say as he stroked my hair and the
tears soaked the front of Mikes shirt. I was sandwiched between
"I think we need to get her on the flight" Mike said to his
"Yeah… Chris can you walk" I nodded both of them held on to me as
we walked through the doors and out to the plane.
"Are you fucking kidding me?' I heard as we walked up the steps
Kerion was shouting "someone needs to kick his Russian ass so
damn hard he'll have a shoe in his throat"
"Shut up" Alfie hissed "We shouldn't have listened to it"
'We should" Lukas butted in "and" he stopped as he saw me "Chris
as soon as we take off you try to get some sleep okay" he was
trying to smile "Lets hope it's just something you've eaten" I
sat down in a chair and fastened the seat belt, I wasn't going to
argue with anyone hell right now I was lucky not to be in the
bathroom with a bottle of pills and a razor for good measure, I
turned and looked out of the window at the slowly darkening sky
as everyone else settled down my eyes gradually sliding