.................. I walked in to the hotel bar to the sound of
Chad singing I put my hands on Alfie's shoulders making him jump
he looked up at me and smiled.
"He gone again?" I just nodded He moved over and I sat down.
"Drink Chris" Mike handed me a glass of Jack. I took it and
watched as Chad sang with Kerion playing the guitar for him. The
hotel bar was enthralled with the impromptu show that was being
"Thanks" Lukas leant on the back of the seat
"I'm sorry he couldn't be here longer"
"It's okay we seem to have this understanding" I smiled up at
Lukas "Was this you're doing?"
"I thought we needed someone with you and come on we've all seen
the huge bill board of him in underwear so why not" Lukas laughed
"and anyway wasn't it easier having someone you knew working with
"Yes it was" I had to agree with him on that.
"Hey Chris" I looked up at Chad "Welcome back now get your ass up
here and help me out a little"
"I think that's your cue" Mike laughed getting up and offered me
a hand I took it and he pulled me up. I walked over to Chad and
"You know you're going to have to pay me for all these
unscheduled sing fests we keep having" I laughed as Mike put a
stool down for me to sit in between Chad and Kerion.
"Okay I'll pay you in Kind" Chad laughed
"I think she's all kinded out" Kerion laugh "Well for tonight" I
looked at him "Sorry"
"Okay before we descend into a topic not up for discussion" Chad
laughed "you're choice on song Chris"
"And it doesn't have to be one of ours or one of yours?"
"Nope free reign" He held up his hands "hell I was doing all
summer long before"
"Okay it's one I haven't done for a while so you do have to bear
with me" I looked at Kerion. "Glitter in the air" he nodded and
started to strum softly as I started to sing. No one said a word.
I closed my eyes and let the song wash over me. I looked round as
I came to the end of it.
"Wow okay so that was different" Chad Smiled at me "Nice job" I
nodded and took a drink of the Jack Mike had given me.
Okay now I've got that out of my system" I laughed "Sex" I looked
"Not right now" he used the line that I'd used on stage with him
a few days before we both started to sing. I looked up laughing
my voice caught in my throat choking me. Chad looked at Kerion
then at me and then followed my eyes to the back of the room. I
slid off the chair and moved through the bar and out into the
lobby and looked round. Alfie and Lukas came out.
"Chris you okay?" Lukas put his hand on my shoulder
"I swear…" I trailed off as I saw the person that I thought I'd
seen "Wow balls after all" I murmured my hands clenching and
unclenching by my sides.
"What?" Alfie pulled a face
"nothing I'll be back in a minute you guys go back to the bar" I
walked over to the elevator and got in
'Something spooked her" Lukas said looking round
"I think shes' just jumpy right now with everything" Alfie
"Come on" the two of them walked back into the bar………………………
………………. I paced in front of the elevator on my floor and waited
the ding making me jump as it reached the floor and the doors
"Are you insane?" I snapped "Are you totally crazy and insane
there are people down there that wanted to rip your brother apart
this morning and you walk in here"
"I wanted to see you Chris" Dimi shrugged "I wanted to…"
"Too what turn the knife a little more or pull it out altogether
so you can stick it right back in again Dimitri" It took
everything I had not to lash out at him
"Hard faced aren't you" he barked
"I wonder what the hell's made me that way" I got in his face
"I've had to deal with arrogant ass holes that knew how to hurt
me" I pushed him "I've had to deal with the sniggering and
talking behind my back when you were screwing Reba and everyone
could here here screaming your name" the color drained from his
face "Ahh you see you don't think I find out all this stuff" I
laughed "Remember Dimitri I still have friends that actually give
a damn about my feelings"
"I didn't want to…"
"No guys never do, do they? But when it's offered on a plate they
can't say fucking no" I turned my back on him "What hurts more
than anything is that message you left me on my cell phone. I
could handle you cheated… I could handle getting pictures of you
and her together" I felt him right behind me "but the things you
said about Why Arron would come back for more" I spun round to
face him "That I can't handle because I'm damn sure in the times
we were together you didn't complain about sticking this" I
grabbed his pants "in me… you didn't push me away" I watched the
nerve in his cheek twitch I let go of him. I doubted myself I
thought I was nothing after I heard that message"
"I was mad"
"It makes no difference that you were mad, you said it Dimitri…
those words came out of your mouth" I shook my head and stepped
"You were all over Chad" he struggled with his words "I saw the
pictures" I started to laugh
"You believe everything you read… You believe that I was getting
married" I smiled "You're a dumb ass… I had fun… sorry we had fun
making the press believe something that wasn't happening… I even
told your mom what were were doing and she still choose to
believe the photos and chewed my ass for them" I leant against
'What about that actor?" Dimitri looked like he wanted to blow
"Kellan" I pushed off the wall as he nodded and I circled him "No
those pictures you can believe" I stopped behind him and pulled
my phone from my pocket and scrolled to a picture from this
afternoon that Micheal had sent me. I put my arm round Dimitri
from behind over his shoulder showing him the picture of Kellan
kissing my neck "Because damn he's good and he came back for
more" I breathed in his ear. He pulled away from me and looked
at me "I think you should leave and just remember that I didn't
want us to end. But I wasn't going to be someone's puppet again
to be twisted and kept in a closet… Yes I'm a selfish bitch if
you want to call me that… because I'm thinking of me" I thrust my
finger into my own chest "I'm doing what I want to do… I'm doing
what's right for me instead of everyone else and you're the one I
need to thank for that for breaking me, for pushing me to make
the right choices for ME" I moved over to him and kissed his
cheek "I can't be broken any more" I whispered in his ear "The
damage is done and I am what people made me" I stepped back and
pressed the button of the elevator the door opening immediately I
looked at him he swallowed hard and brushed past me and hit the
lobby button the doors closed and the whir of the motor as the
elevator went down was the sign for me to breathe again I slid
down the wall shaking my phone falling to the floor as my whole
body shook. Arms wrapped round me from both sides holding me.
"That took some guts" Chad sighed pressing his lips to my head
"It took everything to stay in the damn stair well" Kerion
"You heard" I gasped
"We heard" Alfie was rubbing my hands "Just remind me again how
you think we'll leave you alone if you're spooked" he laughed I
looked up at him and smiled
"Niko came in and told us where Dimitri had gone" Pete added
"I think we need to get this girl down to the bar and get her
something stiff" Lukas laughed "Next time you call security" I
nodded and let Chad and Mike pull me to my feet. They'd stayed
back to let me get it all out and get it all off my chest and for
that I loved them more…………………….