………. My body was still aching and almost vibrating as the two of us lay in Chad's bed, our limbs entwined my head on his chest, his long fingers drawing circles on my shoulders while my mind was trying to work out what had just happened.
"You okay?" Chad murmured against my hair
"Yeah" I nodded and pushed up on my elbow up and looked at him "was it wrong… what we just did?"
"Probably… well definitely" he smiled reaching up and tucking a piece of hair behind my ear "but I couldn't carry on without touching you" he rolled on his side to face me, he inhaled deeply and looked a little troubled "I didn't ask you to come here just so I could seduce you and get you in my bed"
"Oh that's that theory out of the window then" I teased
"Chris I'm serious… I don't know what it was but the minute we walked out on to the stage in Tampa, when you were singing… it's been like someone hit me with a two by four" I frowned at him "I've tried so damn hard since we started to tour and we got to know you, to keep a certain distance from you and just be a friend… It killed me seeing you hurt over Dimitri, and then when you kissed me that night in Spain it was a knee jerk reaction and I knew it that's why nothing happened to take it further… not that I didn't want to" Chad rolled back onto his back and put his hands behind his head "Then you just needed a shoulder to cry on and someone to talk to, and that was fine. Then Kellan made you happy and made us see the real Christine Sommers, making us all fall in love with you all over again…" I felt the color rise in my cheeks as he mentioned Kellan I looked at the sheets "Hey" I looked back at him "You don't really think I'd tread on someone's toes do you? especially someone that could probably break me" he laughed
"You've spoken to him? You and Kellan have talked about…" I hesitated to use the words "… about us?"
"Well you sort of figured that out when I took you dancing, it was his idea" I groaned and put a pillow over my head. I felt his weight shift and the sheet move from round me as the pillow was taken away. Chad was looking down at me smiling the blue of his eyes having a strange affect on my body as it seemed to respond to him without my mind having to. "I'm not out to hurt you or use you Chris. And if this isn't what you want then we can put it down to one of those nights" his eyes were full of truth and fear "I feel like a high school kid that's just got to first base with the cheer captain"
"Okay I'm so not the Cheer captain kinda girl "I touched the side of his face "I wasn't going out tonight to hit on you, and I need to thank Mike"
"Thank him?" Chad narrowed his eyes at me
"Yeah, because we'd have been thrown out or arrested if we'd of stayed in the club, I felt like someone had lit a fire in me" I trailed my hand down the side of his neck and down his chest "I didn't know it could be like this at all" he smiled at me and bent and kissed me.
"Does that mean you're staying here tonight?" I nodded "So if I did this…" he began kissing down my neck and working continuing down with light butterfly kisses. My stomach tightened as my back arched and my hands pressed against the back of his head my fingers knotting in his hair as I felt his tongue slip inside of me………
………….. Sun light streamed in through the window as I walked back into the room with two cups of coffee. I had Left Chad sleeping soundly, I smiled as I saw the state of the covers and the clothing tossed over the chair, where we'd left them after getting out of the shower and drying each other off before taking it to the bed.
"I thought you'd changed your mind" Chad sat up and took a cup from me, I carefully climbed on to the bed next to him
"No, I needed coffee" I wrapped my hands round the cup "And I didn't want to wake you just to tell you what I was doing"
"You look cute in my shirt" he leant on one arm and took a drink of his coffee "But then I thought that before when you used my shirt to sleep in"
"Well it was either your shirt or the dress I wore last night to go make coffee" I smiled
"I'll call today and see if we can't get the cases that we're missing delivered" he looked at the clock
"I still need to take a trip to a mall or something?" I chewed my lip as he looked back at me
"Even when my things do get here, I don't have anything suitable to go toe to toe in a room with my mother and lawyers" Chad raised an eye brow.
"You want to go to the meeting?"
"Yep… I need to say a few things" I nodded fighting to keep my emotion in check I looked at the steaming coffee "And I think jeans and a t-shirt won't cut it, and my stage gear…" I smiled nervously "well that just plays into her warped mindset of me" I ran my fingers through my hair "I know we were going to start on the album, but I have to do this. Maybe you and the others could work with my guys while I'm in Seattle" he moved and put his coffee on the nightstand.
"You really think they'll want to work knowing what you're doing?" he sat up and put his hand over mine "Even if you're in there with Lukas and the Lawyers I have a feeling, we'll all be close"
"I don't deserve you or the others" I sighed with a smile
"Okay, talking like that will only get you in trouble" he grinned
"Sounds promising" I laughed putting my cup on the night stand next to his, Chad's phone started to ring in the bathroom where it had fallen from his pocket as he'd taken off his jeans "They can leave a message" I laughed as I pushed him back on the bed and straddled his lap……………..
………….. "Okay Lukas is pissed" Chad laughed as he walked in the kitchen I looked up from the skillet as I made breakfast.
"He's getting bombed with calls from the press about us" Chad lent on the counter
"Oh I can't wait to see what my phones going to be like" I groaned
"And Ryan called he'll be hear round lunchtime with your new phone" I handed him a plate and a fork "You cook?"
"You sound surprised" I laughed and turned away to load the dishwasher "I had to when Dad was never home for dinner Jess and I needed to eat… I kinda got good at it" I wiped my hands on a towel "You don't mind do you?"
"Hell no" he shook his head "I like to eat… what if we call the others and get them round for dinner, we'll both cook"
"Fine by me" I sat down as he ate
"Can I asked you something?" he sat back in his chair "It's worried me since I heard it" He picked up his coffee as he pushed away his empty plate "It was something I think I heard, a couple of days ago… and you can tell me to shut up or mind my own business"
"Chad just ask" I shrugged
"After you played the message from your Mom" I nodded "you said something about thanking Arron for beating you" I closed my eyes, I knew where this was about to go and it was something I'd tried not to face. "You were talking about, thinking it might be a genetic thing with way your Mom is and..."
"And at least I'll never be able to hurt my child like that" I opened my eyes and looked at him "You catch a lot" I smiled weakly at him, I walked over to the window and lifted the blind giving me a breathtaking view of the Mountain still slightly shrouded in morning fog.
"Chris I'm sorry for asking and you don't…"
"The day that Arron found out I was pregnant; he dragged me to his parent's house while they were away visiting his sister at college. He beat me, pushed me through a sliding glass door and he kicked me three or four times in the stomach…" I swallowed and tried to control my breathing "…He took me to the hospital and left me in a heap outside of the doors. I was taken into surgery because of the internal damage they'd found on an ultrasound" I took a rattling breath no one at all knew about this other than the medical staff at the hospital "They had to take away my uterus" I leant my head on the window frame tears forcing their way through my eye lashes "I'd been kicked hard enough for it to be torn in two places… I'll never be able to hurt my child like I've been hurt, because I can't have a baby"………