......... I stopped on the pathway and took deep breaths of the chilly January air.
"I didn't mean to make you cry" I felt Chad's arms wrap round me and hold me.
"You didn't" I shook my head "it was facing the nine guys in there, that have held me together and still love me and singing that song to them, for them was more than I expected" he rested his chin on my shoulder and kissed my neck lightly
"The song was amazing, and I want to hear it again" I turned in his arms and looked at him "I'm happy to help rewrite your love song" He rubbed my cheek with the back of his fingers.
"You're having a big part in that right now" I nodded
"Do it again and let me record it and send it Kellan" I raised an eyebrow "Hear me out" he took off his jacket and put it round my shoulders "I know what he did for you, and how he made you laugh" I nodded "and he's the one that told me I should go for it with you"
'You knew?" I nodded
"He called me to tell me that he was sorry for treading on your toes, and that I must have been blind not seeing the way you looked at me" Chad started to laugh, "and I think he's right I didn't see what was right in front of me all the time"
"He's a good guy and a good friend I think he deserves part of the song… He started to give us back the real you"
"Okay… you're okay with it?"
"I suggested it, and I'm still amazed that he let you go, the fact he's ten times hotter than me and you're here in my arms, in my bed and not trying to work it out with him" he bent his head and brushed his lips against mine "I wonder what's wrong in here" he tapped my head "for you to go for me"
"I think it has to do with the fact I love you" I swallowed as I said it, he'd told me at least three times today and I hadn't said it to him till now but now seemed like the perfect time. His breath caught as he smiled
"I so want to kick everyone out of the house now" he moaned as he held my closer to him
"Well you sort of asked the guys to stay so I thing the noise level might have to be toned down" he walked me back toward the studio
"Me… I think you'll find it's you" he teased opening the door for me…………………..
……. "We have a plane waiting to take us" Lukas paced the floor in the kitchen and he checked his watch for the tenth time in as many minutes
"Chris wants the drive to clear her head" Chad shrugged as he took a drink from the cup in his hands
"But it's a short flight" Lukas held up his hands "And I want to make sure shes…"
"It'll be a short drive" Chad interrupted "I've been with her on winding roads, the highway isn't going to be a problem for her" Chad laughed as I walked in the room "Hey Sweetheart"
"So do I look as far from a rock star as I can get?" I asked putting my purse down and turning around on the spot
"The rock star is gone but you look like a damn hot personal assistant" Mike laughed "all you need is the glasses"
"Hey that's my girlfriend" Chad threw an empty bottle at his brother.
"And… she could be your wife, I'm just saying how it is" Mike grinned making me a little less stressed
'Good" I sighed and smoothed my hand over my jacket
"You're shaking" Pete walked over and held my hands "Lukas has told us you don't have to do this"
"I know I don't, but I need to" I looked at him
"We have a plane waiting at the airport to take us" Lukas rubbed my back
"I'm taking my car" I looked at Lukas
"I told them" Chad sighed "But Lukas seems to think you'd be better going on the flight" I shook my head
"I need to focus on something other than what is about to happen" I reached around Chad and picked up the coffee and took a drink.
"Are you going with her?" Lukas looked at him Chad nodded "Alright, you have to be there by noon. I want to make sure we are in the room waiting for them when they turn up" he handed me the paper with the address "and drive safely" I hugged him
"Chris" I looked at Dan "We all love you remember that" I smiled at him
"Thanks, I'll see you all later" Chad put his arm round me and walked out with me
"You need me to drive or are you okay?"
"I'm okay, it'll keep my mind occupied" he tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear
"I tried last night" he chuckled, the smile didn't fully meet his eyes
"No that was you trying to expand my mind" I opened the door and got in, he walked around the car and got in the passenger side
"Did it work?"
"Well when you get the post fixed on the end of the bed we'll try again" I knew he was trying to make me smile and it was working with images of the night before running through my head, but there was an underling feeling of dread.
"It wasn't designed as a pole" he laughed
"Hey you're idea and I have a bruise the size of Wisconsin on my ass" I pulled out onto the highway with the limo containing the others following behind
"I'm sorry, I'll kiss it better tonight when we get home" he rested his hand on my leg. I looked in the mirror at the limo and hit the phone button on the console
Alfie * what?
Me * you see us?
Alfie * yep, you can't miss that car, and by the way my Porsche is going to blow you away
Me * yeah keep talking and watching my friend
I flicked the indicators so they both flashed and then flicked the paddles on the wheel and touched the gas pedal. Chad started to laugh in the seat next to me
Mike * Fuck that's fast
Alfie * show off
Lukas * okay you get pulled by the cops and it won't look good… and you'll be late
Me * okay I'll behave
Lukas * Chad can't you drive?
Chad * nope she won't let me
Me * have a safe flight, guys See you in Seattle
I hung up
"Okay I think you just scared the ass off of Lukas" Chad smiled
"I'm sorry, I want to get there, get it done, and get home" Chad smiled "What?"
"You called it home" he looked content
"I feel more at home there than I have in my own home for years" I shrugged, in the few days of being there I had felt at home and not on edge even with the drama "I'm sorry, I'll give it some thought about where to buy a place when the tours done… I don't mean to crowd you" I suddenly felt nervous that he might not want me in his house for the long haul
"Oh so this is just a nine month roll in the hay then?' He poked my thigh; I felt my eyes get wide
"No… well I hope not" I felt sick now "Not for me… I mean if that'…"
"Chris shut up" he groaned "I wasn't meaning it like that, I mean why look for a place if you're at home here"
"What in the car?"
"Oh god" he started to laugh "You're head really is on another planet right now isn't it?"
"Today" I sighed "Yes… I'm sorry if I'm not listening properly"
"Sweetheart its okay don't worry about it" he lent across and kissed my cheek making the nerves shoot up tenfold. The drive to Seattle was easy, I pulled down the ramp into a brightly lit parking garage under a huge sky scrapper, Chad and I got out. "I'll walk you in" He put his arm round me as we crossed the floor to the elevator
"I wish you could be with me in there… I'm scared" I said fidgeting from one foot to the next
'I know but…" He lifted my right hand where the ring he'd given me was sitting and kissed it "You have me with you in here" he tapped my head "and here" he tapped my heart "you look beautiful, nothing like your Mom is trying to make you out to be" the bell chimed as we reached the lobby. Lukas was standing with two well dressed men that I'd seen a couple of times working out contracts and other things. We walked over to them
"You made good time" Lukas smiled; I just nodded as we reached them. Chad turned me to face him and kissed me long and deep.
"I love you, and Lukas knows where we'll be when you're all done" he ignored everyone around us as he looked at me and spoke
"I love you too" I managed to get out Chad pulled me close
"Remember how it felt to fuck with the press in Spain" He whispered in my ear as I nodded "Lets screw with your Mother the same way" I felt a tug on my right hand, I looked down as he held up the ring and lifted my left hand and slip it on to my ring finger and rubbed his thumb over it "She's losing the plot, while you're soaring with friends and people that love you… you got this girl I know you do" I closed my eyes and breathed him in.
"Chris we have to go" I felt Lukas's hand on the small of my back. I stepped back from Chad and took a deep breath. Chad pushed his hands into his pockets and watched as we walked away and got it the elevator…