.................. Sometimes in your life don't you
wish that it you could just crawl into a hole and die. Like the
time when you walk out of the bathroom in 2nd grade
with your skirt tucked into your underwear and all the guys were
laughing at you, or the time the cutest guy in school asks you
something and you end up making a total ass out of yourself by
talking way to fast or realizing you have something in your
teeth. Well I think I was the girl that all those things seemed
to happen to, but when I'd never been at a school for more than 2
years at a time I got the chance to start all over a
This was my
junior year and my older sister was in her senior class. Madi was
the girl who people just seemed to take to she had the
personality that made everyone like her, all the guys seemed to
love her waist length long blond hair and she knew how to flirt
and get what she wanted, and believe me it was normally in the
back of some jocks car she turned tricks like our
I'd rather keep
myself to myself. People seemed to be more hassle than they were
worth and the girls just seemed to be two faced where ever we
went same shit different day type of deal. I wished I could have
the normal life, not going back to the crappy side of a town in a
rundown rental house with bad furniture and even worse
I tried to keep
my grades up where ever we ended up. I'd go home and study and go
out to work any waitress job I could to save for the things I
wanted for myself. My Dad blew in every now and then took the
money from Mom got drunk and left again he'd never been a real
dad like the ones you see playing in the park with his kids he
was a drunk and bummed dead end jobs for his next beer, we'd had
a whole lot of Christmases and birthdays that passed like any
other day, I had got to the point where I didn't really care I
needed to make something of myself to get out of this pit I
seemed to have been raised in…………………
climbed on to the school bus and sat down not looking at anyone I
pulled my book from my bag and started to read, I could hear the
giggling and whispering of the girls behind me as my sister got
on the bus and sat next to me and turned round and started to
chat to them like she'd known them all her life.
"So did Ross
come and say something to you" Alicia asked putting her perfectly
manicured hand on top of my sisters on the seat.
"No why" Madi
answered with a pathetic high pitched giggle.
"He was talking
to Julie who told Troy who told me that he thought you were cute"
Alicia said way to fast.
"He's a bit
short" Madi pouted.
you before" I mumbled under my breath.
Madi snapped glaring at me.
"Nope" I sighed
not looking up from my book.
"Good, it's got
nothing to do with you" Alicia said leaning over the seat and
taking my book from me Madi started to laugh.
"Sorry. Did you
say something because your voice is so high pitched I think only
dogs can hear you" I shrugged "and by looking at the company you
keep they ain't pedigrees" I took the book back from her and
opened it up again.
"Your sister is
a total loser" Alicia said flicking her hair back over her
'I know she's
like the rest of my family" Madi said digging me hard in the
ribs, I got up and moved to a seat toward the front of the bus on
my own, leaving them to be bitchy. The bus stopped at the top of
the street we were living in I grabbed my bag and got off and
started to walk.
"You need to
keep your opinions to yourself" Madi snapped catching up with me
"I won't save your ass if you piss someone off and they go after
"When have I
ever needed you to fight my battles" I said putting my hand in my
pocket for my keys.
"You should try
making friend with people for a change what to be all false and
bitchy" I sneered "No thanks" I opened the door to the house as
Mom walked out of her room counting the cash in her hand as a guy
was getting dressed on the edge of the bed. I walked past
need to start dinner" she called after me.
"I have to get
ready for work" I went to my room and closed the door behind me
locking it I looked round the room and threw my bag on my bed and
went to the closet and pulled out clean jeans and my work shirt I
grabbed my hair brush and pulled my hair into a ponytail and
stuck a pen in it before getting my jacket and walking back out
of the door.
"You still need
to make dinner" Mom said lighting a cigarette as the guy closed
the door on his way out.
"I have to be
at work in 40 minutes and I have to walk there" I said sitting
down to put my boots on.
"Madi is going
out with friends so what am I going to do for food" I stood up
and looked at her "Maybe you should try cooking something for
your self" I suggested.
smart with me" Mom snapped picking up her phone as it rang. I
shrugged and walked out and headed down the street. I pulled the
collar up on my jacket as the wind started to blow I hate having
a crappy jacket in the mid west