" We sometimes see, when pregnant is the air so that it holds the thread which makes her zone." Canto X- The Paradiso
I remember waking up.... in his arms. I remember the tea..... the spillage, the falling....
It was more than i can bear, and waking up to it isn't my idea of
a great day either. Scorching pain. It was as if i was in
Hell.... Well I am, just not in the bad part. But it sure felt
like I was.
I remember Ade rushing to me, picking me up and putting me on our bed as i began to scream my head off.
"Hang on," he said softly, "The Doctor's coming." He gently put a pillow under my head and kept telling me to breath deeply. What do you think i'm doing?!
I know Ade wasn't used to being around pregnant women, but we don't want to usually be told what to do, and breathing in deeply is cliche. But Ade was uncomfertable; hearing your loved one scream is enough for them to join on in. He was consoling me, trying not to lose his temper at the late doctor. Ade knew the best thing to help me was to stay calm.
That surely didn't last long.
"Blast it!" he said through my cries. He left the room quickly. I
breathed in deeply, as i was earlier, but i needed to subside the
pain. Ade rushed back in, dragging the doctor by the
"Fix this!" he growled, throwing him in my direction onto the floor. The doctor rose up and dug into his bag of instruments.
"Stop being cliche!" i shouted.
"What?" the doctor asked.
"She's like that," he murmured, walking to the left side of the bed and he wiped off the sweat from my forehead. Who knew having twins... let alone babies would hurt this much?! I opened my eyes and saw him, his eyes scared but anticipating.
"Hey," i said softly, turning my head to look at him. His hands moved my hair aside from blocking my eyes.
"Hi," he replied. He's nervous.
"At least I can't die from this," i replied. He tried to hold back a laugh or smile, but he hid it well.
"How can you joke right now?" he asked, kissing my hot cheek.
"It's my way of coping with pain..." i said. I saw the doctor and he was carrying incision scissors, and my eyes widened. Dear God.
"Aren't you going to give her something?!" Ade shouted.
"Trust me, pain killers will be of no use," replied the Doctor.
And So he began.
He dug into my skin, cutting away the flesh and trying to reach
the babies. Ade was so confused, being old-fashioned and not
understanding the new ways of birthing.
Though, i highly doubt he experienced the process of birthing,
unless Deirdre had a child in her past life or he had an old
Ade held my hand tight, but i'm sure i held onto him tighter. I bit my lip to keep from screaming, but sooner or later i tasted the bitter warmth of blood. I finally let myself go and whimpered and cried. What else do you have to lose?
"One more push Belle," Ade said, kissing my hand.
"She might not be able to do it," said the Doctor, realizing my exhaustion.
"No one, is going to tell me what I can't do," i growl. I grip Ade's hand and crush the matress as i give it one last shot....
And it's all i need.
I closed my eyes, resting, as i heard the cries of both children.
I was smiling, but so exhausted i don't even think i could open
"Belle," whispered Ade, and i gave enough strentgh to open my eyes. He was smiling, his eyes on the verge of tears. He was cradling a baby with a blue blanket provided from the doctor.
"Charlie," he said, handing me the bundle as it cried. Well.... babies cry. I held him, so happy for my child. Charlie.
"Charlie," i kept repeating softly inbetween shushes. I was smiling, and when my mouth was open the salty tears from my grey eyes reached my parched tongue. I glanced at Ade as he snuggled another bundle in a pink blanket.
"Deirdre," he smiled. The tears flowed as he cradled Deirdre and smiled at her. I couldn't help but burst out in tears... of happiness.
"Now, I'll just clean all three of them up and be on my merry way," smiled the Doctor.
I stood in a white nightgown over the cribs, watching them sleep. Ade stepped behind me and held me by my waist.
"They're quiet," i said, chuckling. He laughed too, his voice carrying throughout our bedroom.
"Surprisingly yes," he replied. He kissed the side of my head and cradled me like he cradled both of them.
"I'm proud of you," he whispered.
"I'm proud of you too," i replied.
"Wasn't me who went through that pain," he said. I turned around to face him.
"It was probably more pain to see me in pain then being in it." I kissed his lips and he smiled. His arms massaged my back as he guided me to the bed.
"You have to be exhausted," he said. "Don't tell me you aren't."
"I won't lie about that," i said, getting under the sheets. He sat on the matress and took my hand.
"I'm just excited," i smiled, like a little kid knowing they were going to Disneyland the next morning and they can't sleep.
"Me too.... but try to sleep. If they wake, i'll get them alright? Just stay in bed." He kissed my forehead. Could life go wrong... or should i say death?
I remember waking up..... seeing Ade at the end of the bed holding his hand, eclipsing his face.
I remember him telling me....
That nothing living can live in Death.
Deirdre Fuoco died on August 11th at 5:43 a.m.
Charlie Fuoco died on August 11th at 5:48 a.m.