No. That's what I've always been told. Can I go out? No. Can I have break? No. Will I ever be happy? No. Loved? No. That's why I am what I am today. A whore. Having spent all my life receiving no as an answer, I can't help but say yes instead.
Maeve. Maeve! MAEVE!
Damn it, I fell asleep in the bathtub. I quickly dried myself off and ran to my bedroom nearly knocking down my little brother; the most annoying, rude, scrawny pest on earth. I laid out my outfit for school. I had exactly 25 minutes to make myself slutty. Okay, okay. You people might be thinking, "What the bleeeeep is wrong with this chick?" Well, I'm just living up to my name, my title. Maeve, the intoxicating one. Perfect for me right? My life at school isn't easy. You may think living the life as a slut is a piece o' cake but there's A LOT of planning and thinking involved. You have to know how to mark your territory without getting caught or purposely get caught. Make sure the grown-ups think your an angel but make all the girls at school hate you. Do every guy in sight to have them at your feet anytime after. For me, being a whore was the only way to forget how messed up life could be and get a chance at freedom at no cost...unless I get pregnant.
I got dressed in a tight red tank top and a pair of shorts that were too small 3 years ago, imagine them on my 17 year old body now. I sprinted out of the house avoiding my Mom and... it's a looooong story but I guess things like him are meant to be called "Dads" but I could be wrong. Oh well. I jumped onto the bus glaring back at the people who had the guts to stare at me. Fuck off, like you've never seen boobs or an ass before because let me tell you, I definitely have those.
My school. My second home. For a whore, I've always liked school. I mean, life is pretty awesome when you have a harem of hot guys lingering on your every word (or your breasts). I used to be...goody. I walked away from 4 guys trailing a layer of spit on the hallway and into my math class. Blah blah blah. I'm smart. Period. Teachers tell me to use my time wisely, so I'll use this time to give you a recap on my life so far:
- Life stinks like shit
- My father left my mother and I for 15 years because she didn't go to University.
- He married a woman 20 years younger than him, had a child only to be ditched by her this time, weaseled his way back into my life, won my stupid mother's heart, turned her against me
- They said if I don't go to university, I'll end up in hell, I wonder how they'll react when I come back in 10 years announcing my engagement to Satan.
- My heart (mostly body) yearns for a hook up 24/7 to get away from home.
- I wasn't always like this. I did "love" a guy.
- Life still stinks like shit
- My music teacher gave me a brochure on living in London to study music.
......annnnnddd...class is over.
I eat my lunch alone. Being an official slut makes it hard for people to like you, even if your personality is different from your sex life. I jog to my sanctuary, the music room. I played piano but quit for guitar. I played to forget, but today, I couldn't.
"When will you ever make me happy? When I die?"
"Mom! I try but you can't force me to love him! He ruined EVERYTHING! You said so yourself! Why should I make you happy when you've RUIN MY LIFE, HUH? Make him go away. He hurts me and you do nothing! I stayed by your side for 17 goddamn years and he left you for 15...I'm not stupid enough to not be able to calculate. I'M NOT DUMB!"
"Yes you are."
I shuddered. Even in my happiest of places, I remember him. I will never forgive him. My "father."
I decided to skip the rest of school. When I got home, everything was gone. Everything was empty. I ran to my room to find 3 suitcases and a note.
"I don't need you to be happy."