Chapter Two: Isiah
Being in close contact
with Ryan isn't like Lacey.
She's clingy... he's grateful.
He deserves to be held.
I keep touching my lips, it feels like it was all a dream. A very amazing dream, that I didn't want to end.
I know what this means and I really don't care anymore. I can't help who I love and it shouldn't matter to anyone. I know it will, but that's their fault not mine.
It's definantly time to break things off with Lacey. I just stepped into the house, but I go out the door and into my car. Her house isn't too far away and when I ring the bell, she answers.
She smiles and I hug her. I can smell her conditioner, the same one she's been using since I met her. The one that smells like cucumbers and lime.
We let go and I decide now, more than ever that I want to make this as easy as possible on her. "We need to talk" I make eye contact just as she frowns, but she nods in some sort of consent.
We sit on her couch. We have memories of sitting there. The time I kissed her and her mom walked in. The time we were playing video games and I let her win.
I sigh and calm my shaking nerves. "I have a confession and you have to swear not to tell anyone" she doesn't say anything, but I go on "I didn't ever want to hurt you, but you have to know... I'm gay." The way it sounds surprises even me a little.
Lacey is still making eye contact with me. She was always straight forward like that. There's tears in the corner of her eyes; I knew it would happen, but I was dreading the water works. I brush them away, but immediately more replace them.
I hug her; comfort her and she doesn't push me away. "I'm sorry" I say over and over again.
She pulls away "I can't be angry with you for being yourself. You're a nice guy... I'm only sorry that it's over." I smile because I know we're friends and that she may not be exactly okay right now, but she will be soon. I know she won't say anything to anyone, it's like a little silent agreement.
I smile and kiss her on the cheek. "This isn't goodbye" I say "We're still friends, 'kay?"
Lacey nods and wipes her tears away "Who's the lucky guy?" I chuckle.