*Okay, so sorry for the long wait! My bad. This is somewhat of a filler, so don't be mad if it's a tad boring. I have school and stuff so I apologize for the wait. Trust me, if I were you I'd hate me too LOL. Thanks for the comments and support, I'll try to update soon, the only reason I did today was because I had no Homework (woo! hoo!) So yeah uhm proceed and read:]*
"Can i take your order?" asked the petite waitress wearing a red polo shirt and black dickies. She looked at us with tiresome eyes and lacked in good posture.
"Uhm, yeah, canI have the double cheeseburger with fries" Jake told her as he swung his arm over my shoulders. "And she'll have," he turned to me waiting for an answer andI quickly replied chocolate milkshake and fries. "A chocloate milkshake and fires"
"Coming right up" the girl said in a very cheerful voice and quickly left us. Half of the football team was here alongside cheerleaders and their girlfriends celebrating the big win tonight. It was a close one, but we managed to squeeze one more touchdown. The diner was packed and noisy making me feel kind of relieved because now i can avoid any alone time with Jake, well at least for now.
"Hey Keller, good game tonight bro" I heard Frankie, one of his friends say. Jake flashed the goofiest and cockiest smileI had ever seen him pull off andI instantly laughed at him.
"Well, you know,I try" he replied. I shoved his shoulder playfully hoping to get the reaction I wanted from him. "Hey it's true!" He grabbed my wrists with one hand and with the other tickled my stomach making me squirm with laughter.
"Hey! Stop it!" I managed to say between giggles. I tried to push him off the bench but he was way too strong for me.
"Cheeseburger and fries for you, and chocolate milkshake and fries for you" the waitress told us as she placed the plates down.
"Okay, there, knock it off" i said smiling, I took a big slurp of my milkshake and stuffed some fries into my mouth.
"Do you remember our plans for today?" Jake asked as he took a huge bite out of his cheeseburger. It stayed quiet between us during that moment and Ilooked down blankly at my food. I did remember our plans, but would I go through with it? I couldn't do this to neither Kyle or Jake. I turned to face jake then, observed his green eyes, his golden brown hair, his waves, his boyish looks, his manner of eating, he was too hard to resist.
"Yeah, I do" I finally said.
"Do you want to go through with it?"
"Good" he said flashing me the cutes smile ever. He was the cutes guy i had ever met, the sweetest one at that.I could never say no to him with all thatI tried,I could never find the strength to reject him.
We finished our food and left the diner right after. I had no business staying to hang out with all the jocks becauseI wouldn't fit in. Although in some waysI might be considered a jock sinceI was a tennis player, that didn't qualify me as the type to hang out with them. And i didn't want to be considered one, as much as Jake wanted me to. We drove to his house in total silence besides jake's casual 'are you okay' A lot was going through my head at that moment, and I had no freakin idea of what i was going to do.
We got to the house and I was astonished to see that when he turned on the lights candles were placed all over the living room. White candles, and red rose petals scattered among the carpet. I looked over to Jake and could see he was very much content.
"Pretty cool right? I did it all for you."
"Cool doesn't even begin to describe it." He hugged me from behind and started kissing my neck. I leaned my head to the side giving him a little bit more access to my neck, it was an automatic move andI couldn't help myself. I turned around in his arms and faced him, he held me by the waist tightly and at that point I would do whatever he told me. He stepped out of our embrace and proceeded to the kitchen quickly coming with a box of matches.
"I have to light them up now, they are vanilla scented you know"
"Nice" I said. AsI watched him light every candle in sightI just felt this huge amount of guilt wash over me. I was so happy he took the time to do this but was I leading him on, or was I just confused about being confused, confusing?
"Okay there" He said smoothly as he walked over to me and we resumed our positions, this time on the couch. I sat crossed legged and his body was turn to face me, we looked into each others eyes intently and lovingly, and i felt as if this was the most perfect moment in my life. The boy of my dreams here with me, soon to be our first time. At least his.
"I love you Steph" He whispered and caressed his palm over my cheek.I closed my eyes for a brief moment, loving the way his hand felt there. He tilted my chin up and brought my face closer to his and we kissed. My hands traveled to his neck and i felt amounts of pleasure. I loved him,I felt it in me. Ever since the first day I saw him.
It was the first day of the second semesteroftenth grade and I had to talk to my history teacher which happened to be the head coach of the football team. i rushed into his office with my essay that was due during first period but thanks to my crappy printer, I didn't have. My teacher gave me until lunch to turn it in to him. It was fourth period and I go in looking for him but he isn't there. Lunch was starting in 5 minutes and I knew if I didn't see him now he wouldn't accept it. In comes in Jake, clean cut and a dashing guy looking for him too. We stand side by side awkwardly until he is brave enough to speak first.
"So, you looking for Crawford too?"
"Yep" I said stupidly without making eye contact, I couldn't because I knew if I did make eye contact I would act like a total fool.
"Oh. Why do you need him?" Iremember taking a breath and deciding to look at him, if I didn't he probably think I'm retarded.
"I have an essay I, I, need to give him." And there, when I faced him, my heart stopped and I became rigid. I remember his sweet smile that he gave me and the sparkle of his eyes, cheesy I know, but it happened!
"You made the deadline I see" My history came in intruding in our moment surely noticing the chemistry between us, but i didn't care.
From that moment we would "bump" into each other and we started talking and hanging out. He was one of the only guys that had ever talked to me in high school, no guy ever approached me. I told him this once and he confessed that I intimidate guys because I'm smart. Go figure.
We continued making out slowly at first, but then becoming more urgent and needy. He reached under my shirt, his hands touching my waist, our breathing ragged. He got closer to me, his hands entangled in my hair now and mine on his. We didn't take a break, we didn't want to and so we continued on. Laying me on my back, he murmured sweet things in my ear and I blushed tremendously.
"I promise our first time will be perfect. Because you are perfect, and Iwon't take you for granted ever" he whispered and then I came crushing down to reality. I stopped kissing him back and I thought of Kyle.
"I can't do this" I managed to say, as I began to shake with anxiety and fear. I sat up abruptly and pushed him away.
"What's wrong? We can wait, you know? No rush. I mean we've waited all this time, I can wait more"
"It's not that" I say getting up and straightening my shirt. I start pacing around the room thinking and thinking, not knowing what to do.
"What's wrong babe?" He asks worriedly. Ugh, he called me babe.
"Nothing. No, wait, yes something is wrong. I can't be with you anymore"
"What do you mean?" The sparkle in his eyes dimming per second.
"I, I..." What can I say to him: I don't love you. I cheated on you. I am currently active in that cheating. I don't want to hurt your feelings. Sorry. Bye.....? No! I couldn't. "I need time to think. About us."
"Honey, please, you aren't saying what I think you are saying."
"Steph, please don't do this. We'll take it slowI promise. Ilove you! I need you! You can't do this to me" I stop my pacing and look him in the eyes. He's breaking my heart by saying those things. At this point I start tearing up. Jake rushes to me and envelopes me in a hug. "Baby, please you're probably overwhelmed and you weren't ready for sex. And nowI start sobbing because I know that the is not the answer.
"I need space to think" I whisper to him.
"Okay. But we can work this out, Iknow we can. Please don't break up"
"Fine. But I need to go" I get my bag and leave his house in a matter of seconds. I start running down the street crying my eyes out. I'm betraying Jake, in the worst of ways. I'll end up breaking his heart no matter whatI decide to do. The streets are dark and quiet and i decide to sit in the curb. I press my knees close to me, and cry. I'm a bitch. A Slut. A liar. And many other things I can't think of right now.
"Holy fucking shit!" Now, what is he doing here? He is going to make things worsefor me.
"I need to talk to you"Great. What does he want. What a dilemma. I don't knowwhat to do and now with him here, Idon't think I'll ever know what I'm supposed to do.