Ch.12 Poison Girl
"Eddie? What are you doing here?" I asked clearly irritated. I was not in the mood to talk to him, and come to think about it I haven't actually talked to him in a very long time. I feel like I'm always either busy or with another person when I'm around him which is probably the case. My best friend might as well be my ex-best friend. He doesn't say a word and accompanies me in the curb, sitting right next to me. I look at him curiously, I wonder what he wants.
"It's nice to see you too" he tells me and looks at me intently making me feel like I should go hide under a rock or something.
"Sorry" I murmur and turn away. Now I feel like shit. It was quiet for a while both of us staring off into the darkness. I hear him sigh and he stretches his legs out to the street.
"I saw you running" He says.
"Yeah." I say stupidly. I feel kind of silly because he saw me. I must have looked like a total idiot.
"What happened?" he asks leaning into me. I look up to him and think about my answer. Now I have to think about what I say to my best friend, how pathetic is that.
"Nothing" I say lamely. I watch the street lamps flicker and wonder what time it is.
"Nothing? Come on Steph, tell me. I feel like I don't know you anymore and I honestly hate that feeling. We used to tell each other everything and now look at us. We are strangers."
"Ashamed? Of what? It's me Eddie, you know the guy who was your date to our 8th grade Sadie Hawkins because you didn't have the guts to ask anybody else out. The one who ate your disgusting cupcakes on Valentines when no one else would. The one who helped you free all the frogs from Bio class because you said it was inhumane to dissect them. Or the one who encouraged you to try out for tennis and was at all your games last season. And the season before that. You can trust me." I laughed at all the memories, they made me feel very nostalgic and I wanted to go back to those days.
"I changed Ed. And you are right, I can definitely trust you but that doesn't mean I want to." The look in his eyes made me feel safe and happy, and like I can do whatever I want at the moment. It grew quiet and we sat there once again in silence until I knew I had to tell him what I was feeling. "Eddie please don't judge me"
"I would never do that. You never judged me when I told you about all my wet dreams and about that one time my mom walked in on me mast-"
"Okay, I get it. You won't judge me but that doesn't mean I have to hear all those stories again" This time he laughed and motioned me to continue. "Jake, I cheated on him. Well I'm still cheating on him" I said with a pathetic chuckle.
"I knew you would someday" He says nonchalantly.
"What! What do you mean?"
"You and Jake are two different people, and I don't mean status wise. I mean he wants to be the guy that marries his high school sweetheart and has 5 kids. He'll probably grow up to work in a blue collar job, not that it's bad, I'm just saying." He says as he shakes his hands as if I would get offended. "He'll drive a truck, and would want to live here all his life" I shuddered at the thought. "he's all about an image and everything being perfect, and that's not you"
"And what exactly am I according to you?" I asked curiously.
"You want to be somebody in life. You want to leave this town and change the world. Travel the world and learn more about it. You want to be spontaneous and you like to be involved all the time. You're no housewife and I'm not sure Jake understands that." And then I think about everything I want to be in life, and I remember telling Eddie all my aspirations, he remembered. And everything he said was true. "So, who's the luck guy" he asks nudging me playfully. I suddenly have this big smile like and idiot and cover my mouth automatically.
"Kyle." I state.
"Kyle? The outcast. The weirdo. The trouble maker. That Kyle?"
"Yep" I say popping the p.
"Steph, I'm not sure about him." I look into his eyes and see uncertainty and worry, Eddie, always trying to protect me.
"Ugh you're never sure about anyone!" I laugh.
"True." He says and shrugs. "But I don't know about his intentions" I ponder that, and I realize that although I'm 100% sure I don't love Jake, I am certain he does love me. But does Kyle. I know I've known him a little while now. But he's never shown any affection. and then I frown.
"Stephanie!" I hear someone in the distance yell. Eddie and I automatically stand up and see Jake running towards us. "Stephanie, there you are" He says panting and bend over trying to catch his breath. And you think a football player would be more fit.
"Jake." Is all I can say.
"Come on let's get out of here. Hopefully you got over the little stunt you pulled earlier." He tells me without acknowledging Eddie and pulling my hand so I can go with him. I hesitate and look at Eddie for help.
"She doesn't want to go with you" Eddie says and pulls my other hand.
"You looser, have nothing to do with this" And pulls me forward but Eddie has a firm grip on me and doesn't let me go.
"She doesn't want to go with you" Eddie says again but with more frustration.
"Fuck off will you" Jake says while he raises his voice. I had never heard Jake say a bad word since I've known him, except for accidents. This Jake I did not know.
"Jake please, he's right I don't want to go with you" Jake glances down to me and makes me squirm a little. "It's over Jake."
"So you're the one that has putting this kind of shit in her head" He tells Eddie and lets go of me.
"I don't know what you're talking about" Eddie says calmly.
"It's not him" I but in. "I just don't love you anymore" I dare to say. Jake turns to me looking like he's going to kill somebody. Yep, totally the Jake I don't know. This Jake made me feel scared instead of the usual comfort.
"You fucking prick!" He yells at Eddie and moves closer to him. "I knew your friendship with her should've ended when we got together!" And now I see Jake punch Eddie in the nose and I see blood gush out of his nose. Eddie stumbles back but quickly gains back his balance and I see his fist connect with Jake's cheek. Just when Jake is about to punch Eddie again I stand between them holding up my hands and yell desperately.
"Jake, please! You're being an idiot! You're hurting him!"
"You," Jake starts as I press my arms on both their chests a gesture to keep them from throwing punches again. "Why do you care so much for him?"
"He's my best friend. And I love him" In the best friend kind of way.
"You whore!" Jake yells at me. That was unexpected, I never thought I 'd hear Jake insult me. I'd expect the end of the world first. "You're nothing more than his fucking buddy!" Tears well up in the corner of my eyes and my hands go up to my face trying to cover it so he won't see he made me cry.
"You little bitch" I hear Eddie say. My hands fall down and I see he punched Jake. Again. They start throwing punches simultaneously and I feel like I have to stop them both or they'll end up killing each other right then and there.
"Enough!" I say with my loudest voice. I'm surprised none of the neighbors have come out to see what all the ruckus is. "Jake go home. We can talk later. And Eddie you come with me" I see both guys bruised and bleeding throwing each other angry stares.
"Watch your back asshole" Jake tells Eddie as he points his index finger at him.
"Jake go!" I say and push him back.
"Go screw yourself" Eddie manages. Jake stalks off angry as ever and I stare at him until I can't see him again. Oh Jake. What happened in those ten minutes I wasn't there? What made him react in this way. That was not the Jake I knew. Jake was sweet, kind, understanding, and would never hurt a fly. I turn my attention back to Eddie and pat his back reassuringly.
"Are you alright?" I ask him
"Just peachy" he says a little bitter.
"I'm sorry" I whisper as I hang his arm over my shoulder and help him walk back to his house.
"It's not your fault" He tells me.
It's not my fault. It's not my fault.
Everything is my fault.
I'm poison. Everything I touch turns bad.