“Jenna? What is it? Huh? What’s wrong?” My father kept asking, but all I could do was stare intently at my arms and my legs.
“Daddy, what happened to me? Why do I look like this?” I was so scared. My arms and my legs had repetitive scars all over them. What happened last night?
“Honey, you passed out from blood loss a few months ago. You have been in a comma for so long. I never thought you’d wake up.” My father was on the verge of tears. I reached out to touch his face. Then I saw my wrists. They had the worst scars of all. They were so deep and they were everywhere.
“Did I do this to myself? Did I hurt myself?” I pleaded. “Daddy, tell me, did I do this?” My fathers face had sadness all over it. He looked as if he were the one that just awoke from a comma. “Daddy, why won’t you answer me?” I was so scared right then by the look on his face.
“Sweetheart, no, you didn’t do this to yourself. It was your mother. She is now serving a life sentence for what she did. She wanted to get back at me for not coming home from work in Europe when I had said I would. I knew your mother had a problem but I never thought that she would go this far as to almost killing her daughter. I am so sorry honey. I am never going to let any thing like this ever happen to you again. I love you honey. Now I am going to call the family and tell them to get over here right now and come see you.”
When he left the room, I thought it would be a good time to get out of bed. Once I set my feet on the floor, I fell over back onto my bed. I had to use my desk for support. I saw then on my desk under my lamp was a letter. The letter had my name written on it in a very familiar handwriting, my mother’s handwriting. I unfolded it and was surprised to see what it said, it read:
I am deeply sorry for this. When I get home, I need to talk to you about something. Be ready because I do not know what is going to happen. It is important. I found out from Brittney’s mom. I do not know yet, but you may be in big trouble if it is true.
I am sorry, Mom.
I wondered what that meant but then I thought who cares. I will just go ask dad. When I walked down stairs, I heard dad on the phone and he was saying things so quiet I had to strain myself to hear him. “Mom, it’s because she found out…I know I should have told her the truth but how could I do that? Was I supposed to say, ‘honey your mother did that because she found out from Brittney’s mom that you are Bisexual?’ No I don’t think so.” I stopped listening after that…what does that mean. I do not remember that. I walked into the kitchen as my father was hanging up the phone.
“Daddy, am I really a bad child if I am bisexual?” He stared at me with worrisome eyes, as if he did not know what to say. “Well, I want to know. Is that really why this happened to me because my mother didn’t approve of who I really am?”
“Jenna, you’re not a bad child. You never have been. Your mother just is not mentally stable. You are still perfect in my book however and whoever you are. I’ll always love you.” He hugged me tightly as I felt myself sobbing. “Oh, by the way, I called Brittney and told her that you woke up. This is only one of the few times she has left the house. She had to go back to school because she would not have been able to graduate if she missed any more days. She will be over in about an hour, after school ends. Why don’t you go take a bath and I’ll come get you once she’s here, if your not out by then.” He took my hand, led me to the bathroom, and started the tub. “I’ll leave you to it then. Call me if you need help with anything. Remember Jenna, I love you.” After he said that, he was gone.
I got undressed and stepped into the tub. It was so hot the scars on my legs burned, but I endured it and I sat down in the water. I looked myself over and I looked so bad with all those scars I did not want Brittney to see me like this. I started to cry. “Daddy, Can you come help me out. I can’t stand up.” I called out the closed door. “Daddy,” I called louder.
“Jenna? Are you okay? What do you need?” He opened the door and grabbed a towel off the towel shelves. “Did you say you need help getting out? Here give me your hand and I will help you. Not to worry, I had to be the one to give you baths while you were in your comma so you don’t have anything now that I didn’t see about a week ago.” I gave him my hand and he pulled me up and wrapped me in the towel. It was so cozy I just wanted to stay in it forever.
“Daddy, can you help me pick out clothes, preferably jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. I do not want Brittney to see me like this. Not yet, it would scare her. Pease, daddy, help me.” I was crying again.
“Yes of course sweetie come on lets go find you something to wear.” He took my hand and led be back down the hallway to my bedroom. In there I saw where Brittney had been staying while I was asleep. There was a blowup air mattress on the floor with her favorite blanket on it. I had bought that blanket for her, for our first Christmas together. She told me she would treasure that blanket forever. I looked around my room to see if anything was wrong or missing from anywhere. I looked at my shelves of animals and in that moment, I saw that Shiba was missing from there. Shiba is the teddy bear that Brittney gave me for Christmas. Where is she, she should be right next to Herbert, my egg-guy, my father got me for my birthday.
“Daddy, where is Shiba? She should be right next to Herbert. What happened to her?” My voice came out in a panic, even though I did not intend it to. I looked all over the room as my father spoke to me.
I was in the back of my closet when he said, “She should be up on the shelf. I do not know where else that she could be. I don’t know anyone who would…” He trailed off because he and I both know there was one person who could and would have taken her.
“Mom” I said in a whisper. If you were not within two feet from me, you probably would not have heard me. “Daddy, can I speak with her? Please I just want my teddy bear back.” I pleaded. He looked at me and paced back and forth around my room.
“I will call our lawyer and see what he says. If he says yes then we will schedule a date but if he says no then the answer is and will remain a no. Do you understand?” I nodded my head. “Well then shouldn’t we be getting you dressed right now? Knowing Brittney, she will be here in about twenty minutes. So what color would you like to wear?”
“Daddy, are you sure?” I had to know the answer.
“Sure about what darling?” He knew what I was asking too but would not say it.
“About me, About Brittney, Are you sure mother was not wrong?” I need to know if he really meant what he said that there was no problem with that at all.
“Yes sweetie, I am absolutely sure about you.” This made me smile. I had to tell him.
“Daddy, Brittney is my girlfriend; she has been for about two months.” I told him with a smile on my face.
“I know sweetie. I know. She has not left your side while you were in a comma. I think she really loves you.”
“You want to know what?”
“I think I love her too. Daddy, I think I am in love with Brittney, and that will never change. So can you go call our lawyer and see if I can talk with my mother about Shiba?”
“I will go do that while you get dressed. When you are done, come down and sit on the couch. I would advise you to hurry because Brittney will be here in about,” He looks at his watch, “twelve minutes.” He smiles as he goes out the door.
“I love you Daddy.”
“Love you too, Pumpkin.”
I turned to my closet and found a nice plaid skirt. I knew I should not wear it but it was so hard not to choose it. I put it in the back of my closet and went to look at my pants. I took my favorite Calvin Klein dark wash jeans off a hanger and a bright, neon green long-sleeved shirt, that was next to my pants, to put on. I looked at myself in my full-length mirror. I did not look that bad for someone who just came out of a comma. I forgot to ask father why I was at home and not at a hospital. ‘I will ask him later. Right now I need to go to the living room couch.’ I thought to myself.
I was just sitting down on the couch when I heard a voice outside the window. I recognized that voice; it was Brittney and someone with her. I do not know them, but maybe they are new to our school and she brought them over to make friends. It is not as if she is coming here to tell me that we are breaking up or anything. ‘Of course not, she would ever do that.’ I thought to myself again as she came in the room.
When I saw her, I felt tears come to my eyes. “Brittney.” That is all I could say before I almost suffocated from her hug. I could tell she was crying but I did not care, for I could see my girlfriend again and now without hiding it. “Hon, I need to breathe.” I said with a chuckle.
“What is so funny Jenna?” I know she would ask that she always did.
“Nothing Brittney, I am just so happy to see you again. My father knows about us, so we will not have to sneak around anymore. Hey can I tell you something without you freaking out?”
“Of course, you can tell me anything.” She said that so confidently.
“Well, I have wanted to tell you this for a long time but could not find the right time to say it. I think I got the right time now. Brittney, I think I am in love with you. That is what I wanted to tell you. I have a question for you too, who is that behind you?”
“Jenna, you do not know how happy I am to hear that. I have wanted to tell you that for so long and I could not find the courage to do so. I love you too Jenna. I always have and always will. Forever and for always, never will I not.” She was crying again. She was so cute I had to do it, so I did. I kissed her. Her lips were soft and tasted like cherries, which she loved. She kissed me back and we were so not aware we had an audience until my father came into the room and said, “So who is this nice looking young boy standing in my living room watching my daughter make out with her girlfriend?” I liked the way he said girlfriend. It was not threatening at all. It was very kind and gentle.
“I do not even know myself daddy.” I said when Brittney and I came apart. I turned to Brittney and gazed at her in amazement. She was so beautiful and she was mine. Her hair was the perfect shade of Honey-Mist Auburn and her eyes were a perfect greenish-brown color. Her lips were full, her teeth were perfectly white, and they were perfectly straight. I grasped her hand in my own and felt my face blush. She interlaced our fingers and turned to my father.
“Brian, this is the new kid at our school. His name is Aiden. He just moved here from Manhattan, New York. He was hopelessly lost so I thought I would show him around. I had told him I would but then I got your call and had to bring him over. Hey Brian can Jenna come out with us? I know A. J. is dieing to here she is fine.” A. J. is my ‘stalker’ male best friend.
“Well hello Aiden, as you heard I am Brian, and that one is my daughter Jenna.” He said. I blushed when he motioned at me to point me out. “Brittney, yeah she can. She needs to be home by 9:30 though.”
“Hey.” I said. Daddy and Brittney both know I am a very shy person and I just made-out with my girlfriend in front of a kid I do not even know.
“Hey.” He said. I could see he was shy too. I think we made him uncomfortable when we made-out in front of him.
He stretched out his hand and said, “Hello, as everyone has said, my name is Aiden. I spell it A-I-D-E-N, instead of A-Y-D-I-N. I look gay but I love my look so very much, so if anyone has a problem with it then they can go suck a cactus.” He said, and then looked as though he wished he had not.
“Well, if you could not already guess from my making out with Brittney, I am Bisexual and Brittney is my girlfriend. I am so happy I can say that in my own house now without the fear that my…” I could not say it.
“It’s okay Jenna. It’s okay.” I did not know what Brittney was talking about until I felt myself trembling. I was afraid. Of what I wonder. Maybe it was my subconscious remembering my mother. I braced Brittney in a hug and we just stayed like that for about an hour. She would rub my back and whisper in my ear, ‘It is okay. She isn’t here anymore.’
“Jenna? Did you here me?” I looked into her eyes and hugged her again. I was not listening. I was not conscious of anything until she called my name.
“No, what did you say? I am sorry I was not really coherent.” She was looking at me with worry written all over her face.
“I said; let’s go sit on the couch. We can talk about it if you want to.” I love her so much. I kissed her again. Then I walked over to the couch with her.
“Are you coming Aiden? You can come over and sit with us. I will not bite but Brittney might, considering you are so damn cute. But then I would have to hurt you because I am the only one she can bite.” I told him with a laugh. “Come on over here and sit by me. I want to learn things about you.” I smiled at him and patted the cushion with my hand. When he was close, I held out my hand and he took it. He sat by me and we never let go of each other’s hand. We were at that point, I knew, best friends forever.
“So, how are you Jenna? I have been dying to ask you that. Are you okay? Has the doctor come over yet today?” Brittney stopped when she noticed the questionable look on my face. I did not even know I had one until she said something about it. “What is with that look? Did you not know? Your father did not want you at a hospital because they would have tried to stitch you up and he thought if you woke up before they were all out, you would freak. Therefore, he got you a doctor to come over at least twice a day to see how you are holding up. He will be surprised today when he gets here, because he said you may not get up for another month.” I felt Aiden squeeze my hand. I guess I should explain what we were talking about here.
“Aiden are you confused?” I asked as I held up our interlocked hands. He let go abruptly, as if that is what I had been referring to when I had asked if he was confused. I took him hand again and interlaced our fingers. I was not shy with my friends. “I meant with what Brittney was just talking about.” He nodded his head, so I went on. “I don’t know all of the details on what have happened but I know enough. My mother found out from Brittney’s mother that I am Bisexual and she is my girlfriend. My mother is not one I wanted to know because.” I paused and took off my shirt, to show him my scars. “I knew something like this would happen.” I put back on my shirt when I say him blush profusely. “The same thing in on my legs, but with the way you blushed just now I do not know if you could handle seeing them.” He took a little while to respond.
“It is okay I was just surprised that your mother could do that to her child. It is up to you if you want me to see. I do not care either way, so Brittney does not have to worry about anything. You know.” I smiled and kissed him on the cheek.
“Brittney would you like to see or have you already.” I said then stopped when I saw she was crying. “Brittney, come here, what’s wrong?” I took her in my arms and held her as she did me.
“Can I tell you something Jenna? The day I was going to tell you I had told my mom and I guess my mom told yours and she did not know whom you really were. I feel as though this is entirely my fault so I do not know why I even think I should tell you this but I really need to. Jenna Hanson, I Love You.” She hugged me and I hugged her back.
“Brittney Miers, I Love you, too and I do not blame you for my mothers own stupid mind, so you better not either.” I told her while I held her.
“Aiden, tell her it is not her fault, please, please tell her.” I pleaded to him as my father come into the room with the doctor that Brittney had been talking about earlier.
“Brittney, this could never be your fault. You cannot blame yourself for her mothers’ unstable mentality. Do not ever sell yourself short, Okay?” She nodded.
We all turned to my father and my doctor to see them with smiles on their faces. “Well isn’t this quite a site. My Jenna is finally up and walking again. How are you feeling? Do you need any pain medication? I could get you some if needed.” I shook my head and said, “I just really need to go lay down right now. All this talking has made me tired. Daddy, can Aiden and Brittney come sleep with me?” I said grabbing and interlacing my fingers of each hand with Brittney and Aiden.
“Well it does not look like I can stop you so, yes they can.” He said as we stood up.
“I love you daddy.” I said as we got to my room. We all crashed on my bed and fell asleep with out a second thought through my mind.