He pushed me against the wall and looked at me with hungry eyes. Hungry for me I guess. My heart is beating in my throat and suddenly my temperature skyrocket. For the first time in my life, I want him more than ever and the best part is he wants me too. His hand crawls up my back and he pulls me closer to him, he starts to kiss me rapidly. Am I dreaming? Is this really happening? I can't tell. My sense of reality has left me. My one hand is hugging him closer as the other tangles in his longish curly brown hair. I don't feel afraid anymore. I know I wanted this, I am positive that I want this with HIM. For the best part of our friendship I've pretended, but I was done with that now. I know what I want now. I know I want him.
Chapter 1: Forever
"Stop It" I screamed. Bridget standing a few feet away was unconcerned. Everyone stared at me. I felt self-conscious but I tried to maintain an 'I don't give a fuck' attitude. This supposed to be innocent party was anything but. I was being forced against the wall by Brandon; a guy I barely know from English class. I've never actually got around to speaking to him. His breath reeked of alcohol. He leaned in to kiss me which caused me to push him away. He almost fell over Bridget, but she sidestepped him before he could, which caused him to fall flat on the floor. While he slurred something that no sober being could understand, I ran upstairs into my brother's room.
My brother, Tyler, whose party this was, was only sixteen and he has already messed up his live by getting wasted every other weekend, failing school and hooking up with every girl he laid his eyes on. He was the popular kid in school. Everyone knew Tyler Cameron Jones, and I was known as 'Tyler's sister'. Popularity wasn't my biggest issue. I marched into Tyler's room not surprised when I saw him on his bed making out with some blond girl I haven't seen before.
"Fuck Tyler, we get left alone for one week and you're having a party!" I yelled in complete rage. I was so angry it felt like my head would explode; I could have guessed that our parents' divorce would give him a valid reason to have a party. With dad in New York on a business trip, and mum at her boyfriends' apartment, the house was all ours. Even though he had promised me he wouldn't be throwing a party this weekend I shouldn't have believed him.
"chillll owtth IIIrrissss we arjhusttt havingggg sommm fuuunnn" He slurred, hammered. The blond girl gave me a death stare and made a snotty comment that I ignored.
I gave Tyler a look of disappointment and disgust. I stormed out of his room, slammed the door shut and heading for mine. It was just next door to Tyler's. I slammed my door shut and collapsed on my bed, head first into my pillows, screaming into it. At first I didn't notice Bridget opening the door but after several seconds I heard her squeaky voice while she approached me.
"Are you alright?" she asked, as if it was her duty.
"No, I'm pissed. Could you just leave me alone?" I didn't want to sound rude, but I really wasn't in the mood for her.
"I'm so sorry I care." She stormed out of my room slamming the door shut, like she actually really cared. Yeah right. I wasn't bothered much about her. She was just someone I had to be friends with. We weren't close.
I pulled my Blackberry, which was lying on my bedside table, from the charger and rolled over onto my back. I needed to get out of there, and my only hope would be Connor. He has been my best friend since kindergarten and lucky for me he had his mom's car for the weekend. Scrolling down my contacts I found him. I pressed the call button and waited with anticipation for his voice.
"Hey Iris" He answered with his usual apathetic voice.
"What you up to babe?" he always sounded glum, but there was something else going on this time.
"I need a favour, I know it's late but Tyler is having a party and I need you to pick me up please. I'm not in the mood for socializing tonight."
"Yeah sure. I'll come get you." He put the phone down. I was relieved that he said yes.
I slid my phone into my front jean pocket, grabbed my hoody and made for the door. The hallway was full of couples making out and I was uncomfortable as hell. I skipped down the staircase trotting through the front door and across the front lawn. Once I was outside I felt refreshed after the smell of strong alcohol and hubly disappeared. It was a bit chilly outside, a cool breeze was in the air and far away I could hear thunder brewing. I walked over to the street and sat on the pavement, it was still hot from the baking sun which always shines in Johannesburg. Connor didn't live far from us, just a few blocks away. After a few minutes of anxiously waiting, a bright red Range Rover Evoque pulled up in front of me. It was Lara, Connors mum's brand new car. And it was still sparkling clean. After his dad was murdered, all the money he got from playing cricket went to Connor and his mum. His dad was famous after all...he was the captain of the South-African cricket team, The Proteas.
I got up quick, relieved to see him, opened the passenger door, slid in the black leather seat and shut it again. I love the smell of brand new car.
"Thanks so much for picking me up, I owe you" I smiled, thankful.
"Nah, it's nothing. I was home alone anyway" he admitted, sadly, and started the car. The conversation didn't proceed after that and I didn't make an attempt to force it. It was twilight outside which made the trees look like black figures surrounded by fog. The passing cars and streetlights always made me feel uneasy. I was about to break the long silence with a question but he answered before I could say a word.
"We're going to get some food; I guess you haven't had lunch yet." It was like he was reading my mind. I haven't eaten since this morning and I could feel my tummy rumbling.
"Yeah sure, I'm starving" I admitted sheepishly.
"Thought so, I hope you're in the mood for Pizza."
"I've been craving pizza for a week now." I laughed.
"Cool...What's the deal with Tyler? I told him to drop his shit but no he's too fucking smart now is he?" he asked angrily.
He and Tyler were best friends not long ago, but Tyler's behaviour was starting to annoy him. When Connor tried to help, Tyler just blew him off. Since then they didn't speak to each other, and I could see that it hurt Connor to see Tyler change like that.
"Since mum and dad's divorce he changed for the worst! He gets home wasted most night and he hooks up with every girl he gets his hands on. I'm fifteen; I can't cope with him and my parents at the same time." I admitted.
Connor didn't answer; I knew it hurt him losing Tyler as a friend, so I just kept quiet. A few seconds later he pulled in at Romans Pizza. We got out of the car and headed into the building through the big double doors. I spotted an empty booth at the corner and pointed it out to Connor.
We went through the menu and decided on a Four in One Large Pizza and two cokes. As Connor got up to make the order my phone buzzed in my jean pocket. I struggled to get it out, but eventually got it and answered without looking at the caller ID.
"Iris, why isn't Tyler answering his phone? Is everything okay at home?" it was dad. Shit, shit, shit! Why the hell was he calling me, from New York, in the middle of the night?
"Hey dad, I don't know. I guess he can't hear it over his headphones. He's in his room at the moment. Everything is fine, don't worry" I tried to lie convincingly, hoping that it would work. I wasn't good at lying.
"Right. Well I hope he hasn't snuck out again. You know he's grounded for stealing the car last Saturday night..." he didn't sound very convinced.
"I heard him in the bathroom a minute ago, he's here dad. Don't worry."
"Okay then. See you guys Monday, bye." I almost forgot he was coming back in two days.
"Bye dad, see you Monday" oh goodness, I really hoped that he didn't notice. As I put my phone back into my pocket Connor sat down putting the pizza in the middle of the table. He gave me my coke and immediately opened his to take a sip.
"My dad called" I said bluntly.
"Did he notice anything?"
"No, I don't think so. Where are we going after the pizza?"
"We can go to my place; my mom is sleeping over at a friend's house"
"Thank god, I don't think I'd have the energy to explain anything to her right now" I said looking down at the pizza hungrily and taking a slice.
After we absorbed all the pizza we talked about our lives. Connor told me about the previous year's vacation in Mozambique. He wants to start a charity for the children who can't afford food or clothes. He wants to give them the money that he inherited from his dad. He told me about what he wants in his future; a wife, two kids (a boy and a girl), a proper work and a proper home with a swimming pool and a huge back yard. Mostly I listened and smiled at the things he wanted. After an hour we got up and strolled out towards the car, side by side.
We got into the car and drove off in the dark. Fidgeting with the radio I got a half decent radio station, I recognized the song playing; it was Kryptonite by Three Doors Down. I couldn't resist turning up the volume. After the song I turned the volume down again when some British boy band came on. "Connor, are you okay? You sounded off earlier. Are you and your mum fighting again?" I asked really concerned. Since his dad was murdered about a year ago, his relationship with his mom has gone from bad to worse. He didn't really talk about it, but I really cared. I would do anything for him, and he knew it.
"I'm fine. Can we not talk about it now, please?" he sounded serious so I dropped it.
"Yeah, sure, but if you want to talk about it, I'll be the one listening right?"
"Yeah, you'll be the first I go to. You're the only one I can trust"
"It doesn't matter when or where, I'll be available." I desperately wanted to know, but I didn't want to force him into telling me. When he's ready, he'll tell me.
With that we pulled up to his house. We sat in the car in silence for a minute or two. I stared at him, embracing his beauty. His dark tanned skin, his longish dark brown hair that fell just perfectly over his forehead. He laid his head on the steering wheel disheartened. I put my hand on his back rubbing it gently back and forth in sympathy. I really felt bad for him. I was linked to him somehow. I felt his pain.
With a sigh he raised his head and I pulled my hand slowly away from him. He took the car keys out of the ignition and opened his door. I watched him walk around the front of the car towards me. He opened my door and held his hand out.
"Let's go." He said with a blank expression.
I took his hand and pushed myself from the seat. As I stood up out of the car I closed the door. We faced each other and just stood there.
"Remember, I'll always be here for you and I love you."
"I love you too Iris... We'll be friends, forever."