My feet tip toes against the wet and cold ground, as the fog
rises to the sky. I can hardly see but I hear someone calling my
voice, "Kelsey, come here!" "Kelsey!" "Come unto me." Could it be
I have a guardian angel? Or was it the voice of god? Whatever it
was I followed it until I reached a field with white sparkling
snow plastered on the ground. The sight was beautiful, how if you
changed the angles of your body you could see a glimmer here and
there. "Kelsey!" it spoke again this time it sounded as if it was
closer. I come upon a torn down red house in the middle of the
field the door was open and the voice was coming from inside of
it. I walked in slowly, my hands touching the rails beside the
stairs; the stairs creaked every time my foot stepped on it.
"Kelsey!" it became close until I was face to face with a boy who
was as pale as a ghost. As he came close I could see the gash
inside his head, a piece of glass emerging from it, blood running
down the side of his face. "Why did you leave me, Kelsey?" he's
arm stretched towards me, "Why?" he said again. On his arm was
the word suicide cut into his arms, blood dripping from the open
wounds, "Come with me." As his hand extended towards I could feel
my soul releasing from my body and then….
"Huh!" I gasped as I lifted myself off the bed. My forehead and
palms were sweating and I was relieved it was only a dream
although this was the same dream I had been having for weeks
Last month my boyfriend Scott committed suicide when he ran his
motorcycle off the bridge downtown. Some people say how do you
know it was suicide? My reply is before he did that he sent me a
text message stating what he was getting ready to do.
Kelsey, I'm so sorry for everything I have done I cannot live with myself anymore. I will always love you and never forget that but it's my time to go. I love you Kelsey. - Scott
At the time I thought he was just apologizing about something he had done some time earlier that day, but when I got that call from his parents and they told me what had happened, I fell to the ground and sobbed. For days I couldn't find myself getting up out the bed. I hardly ate and even washed myself up, I just stayed there thinking, crying, and blaming myself.
I wish I would've found him but I guess I was just a little
As time passed I started to get passed it, but these dreams made
him linger in my heart longer and I wanted him gone. I wanted his
memory to be replaced so I wouldn't feel this grief, this
unexplainably pain that ached in my heart every day.
I wiped the sweat off my forehead and propped myself up and walked to the bathroom. Isplattered water on my face and wiped it off with a towel. I sat there for a minute and then felt a lump rise in my throat I ran towards my toilet and bent over and vomited. This was nothing new though, I knew why I probably kept having these dreams about him and why I kept blaming myself. Nothing was going to prepare me for what I had coming soon. I knew what I was up against. Having Scott's child while he wasn't here was enough.