Please, Ease My Pain.
Every relationship starts off effortless and pleasant in the beginning. You both tell each other how much you love them; you can hardly keep your distance without missing them too much. Being in love is a beautiful thing, and you just love to spread the news that you finally found that special someone.
That’s how Joey and I were. It was love at first sight, he was that bad boy who hung around skate parks and I was that preppy cheerleader that everyone adored. Back then, I had this thing for guys who rebelled and who did what they wanted whenever they pleased. Joey was exactly that and I thought he was just the most amazing person I had ever laid eyes on.
Everyone said was foolish to fall for someone who was such a bad influence, and even though they were right I didn’t care. I had to admit though, I started doing things I usually didn’t do when I started dating him. I experimented with drugs and alcohol, going to wild parties, lying to my parents, and getting in so much trouble they ordered me not to see him again.
Do you think I listened though? Of course not, I loved him remember? Why would I stop seeing him when I loved him so much?
After a year or so, Joey started to change. He would accuse me of things I didn’t do, and get mad if I tried to ensure my innocence. I remember one night we were at a party, and I refused to stay there all night. My curfew was at eleven and I didn’t want to miss it.
“Just stay your mother will understand.” He begged and tried to convince me. We were sitting in our car in the garage entrance; the noises of the music making our car vibrate.
“I don’t need to get into anymore trouble, my mother’s already on my ass as it is. I don’t need her to patronize me, not tonight.”
“Why are you being so prude?”
“I’m not being prude I just want to go home.”
He raised his eyebrows and clicked his tongue mockingly. “No you’re being prude and you know it.”
“Take me home.”
“Now!” I yelled crossing my arms against my chest.
“Who the hell are you talking to like that?”
“You’re stupid ass!”
I regretted those words I let slip out my mouth, because with those words came Joey’s fist striking me in my jaw. My hands cupped my face and astonishment; I was shocked and angry but most of all scared. Tears escaped my eyes as the pain started to spread over my whole body.
“I’m sorry!” He yelled while hitting the dash board with his fist harder and harder each time.
I just stared at him, wondering what was going on. Why was he so angry? Why did I do to him? It petrified me to see him like this for once in my whole entire life I was scared for my own life.
“It’s okay.” I whispered, and with that he lifted his hands and pulled my head to his chest.
That night was the first night Joey put his hands on me, and most certainly wouldn’t be the last.
“How come you are here today?”
The urge to scratch this woman’s face off was unbearable, looking at her changed my whole mood. Being in this room was making me want to yell insanely and throw things all over the place.
”I don’t know why don’t you tell me.”
She sighed, like I was giving her a hard time. “This session is still another hour long, and yet you want to sit here and play games. I am here to help you Kimberly.”
“I don’t need help.”
She frowned. “Well apparently your mother doesn’t think that.”
“My mother assumes too much.”
She sat there with her glasses on the tip of her nose staring at me. Boy do shrinks annoy me.
“How did your face get swollen last week?”
I gulped, I hated when they made me talk about that. My excuse was that I fell off my bike when I was riding home, one ridiculous way to hide the truth.
“I fell.” The words slipped out uneasily.
“I would like for you to be truthful with me.”
“I would like you to stop thinking your superior over others because you’ve got your degree to tell people something is wrong with them when everything is actually fine.”
She cocked a half- smile at me. “You know nothing about me.”
I shrugged. “I know you’re a know-it-all who thinks that her advice helps people when it really just makes them want to slap you in the face. Honestly you therapist people are the unhappiest people in the world, I think. You’re quick to tell someone they have a psychological issue but you never point out your own issues.”
“And who do you think I am Kimberly?”
I plastered a grin on my face while leaning my body back on the chair. “I think you are a person that wants me to kiss your ass, but I’m afraid that won’t happen.”
She squint her eyes at me, and I waved at her while snickering.
“I am going to ignore that comment, only because I care about you.”
I arched my eyebrow “Did they tell you to say that when you first got hired to do this”
“Kimberly I happen to care about your safety and for you to think that I am lying really hurts my heart.”
I placed my hand on my heart.”Awww, guess what? You’re lying; I’m not stupid you know. You’ve known me for only about what fifteen minutes? How do you feel sorry for me? I feel sorry for you because you have to sit in this office all day thinking you’re helping when in reality your not.”
She took off her glasses and placed them on the desk, placed her hands on her chair’s arm rest and took a deep breath.
“One day you’re going to realize that blaming people for your problems is not the way to do it. I used to be you Kimberly believe it or not. I was once a smart ass like you, you think you invented it? I’m trying to help you, but if you don’t want my help then there is nothing I can do. You’ll just have to talk to your mother because she is the one paying for all of this.”
I pursed my lips and looked at the ceiling. “That’s all you therapist worry about,” I rubbed my fingers together. “Money.”
“This session is over.” Her words were angry and dull; I knew she was pissed off.
I grabbed my purse and jacket off the floor and started to the door before I stopped and said. “Oh and by the way, you should probably resign from this career, you suck at it.”
Then out the door I went.