Please, Ease My Pain.

“You think that God gets angry with us sometimes and that’s why he punishes us sometimes?”

I turned my head to face Joey. It was the middle of February and we had been going out for about two months. I snuck out just to sit by him and watch the stars in the sky.

“God works in mysterious ways, it’s like looking down on your children who are directing their life’s into destruction and you can’t save them. I bet he feels like we are just a disgrace, after everything he’s done for us and we keep on proving to him were not worthy. You know, I wonder sometimes when I die and I see him what will I do. Will I be scared or will I be relieved I’m not on Earth which is hell itself. I can’t even imagine how he feels.”

He sighed. “What would I do without you?”

I smiled.”Oh, stop it.”

“No seriously, you’re just so optimistic about everything. You always are looking for the good in something even if it is the most horrible thing. I swear you give me hope.”

“How?”

“That one day my mother won’t look at me and shake her head like she is ashamed of me. One day I can come home and say mom I did it, I did whatever it is that you wanted me to do. She’ll say I’m so proud of you. Then I’ll marry you.”

“Marry me?”

He grinned.”Yes you. I want to give you everything that you want. If you want a mansion, then you got it. I want to give you the world on a silver platter. I want to just give give and give you all that I can until I can’t give anymore. You are my life, and I think without you I wouldn’t be able to live.”

“You’re a madman.”

“Who’s in love.”

He reached over and grabbed my hand that was resting on my stomach.

“One day...” He said.”Just one day when I get myself together, which will be soon by the way I am going to do everything right. I’m going to finish school with straight A’s and graduate on time. I’m going to take you to prom so I can see you looking so beautiful in your dress. We’re going to pull up in a limo and everybody is going to be so shocked. I’m going to go to college in California since you have your mind set on going to UCLA. We’re going to get an apartment together and I will pay the bills. When I get my associate’s and bachelors’ degree, I’m going to move us into this big mansion in some rich neighborhood. We’re going to be sipping tea instead of Pepsi.”

I snickered.

“Then when we both get us some long term jobs, I’m going to propose to you. Of course, you’ll say yes. Then our honeymoon is going to be in Paris. When you find out your pregnant and you have little Joey junior I’m going to be there in the delivery room holding your hand. The whole time, even if I feel like I’m about to faint. Then were going to raise a smart kid, and live happily ever after.”

“That’s one big plan you have for us.”

He squeezed my hands.”It’s not just a plan, it’s a promise.”

Our promises led us here, in this field while it’s raining and storming. It was like we were in the midst of a battlefield and so far he was winning.

“Landon!” I hollered over the loud outburst of thunder. He flinched as he turned towards me. “Put it down, now.”

He looked down at Joey for a second then at me. He quickly bounced up and walked over towards me.

“Don’t you want it to end?” He stated circling his head every five seconds to watch Joey.

“Yes…but this,” I pointed to the gun he had in his jacket.”That won’t solve anything. Just makes matters worse. I’ll lose you.”

“Ha ha ha ha!” Joey laughed as he sat up from the grass and stood up, stumbling as if he was drunk.”Shoot me, do me a favor. I can’t feel anything anyway. I’m invincible baby!”

“You’re sick.” I spat.

He just kept laughing, his face all cut up and bruised. “Oh because Joey’s the bad guy, Joey lied about his name and his past. My bad, cuff me. What about you man?” He nodded towards Landon.”You have your lies too. I mean come on, making up that whole story about your father killing your mother. Ha! Priceless.”

“Wait...” I looked at Landon who looked even more heated than what he already was. “What is he talking about?”

“You didn’t tell her? Oh yeah Kim your little boy toy here lied about his mother getting killed by his father. I mean it was a good one but he couldn’t pull it off. Your mom died of Leukemia man. If you’re going to lie, make it believable.”

“Tell me he’s lying.” I said as I glanced at Landon.

He sighed heavily. I was still waiting for a response.

“…No.”

A small light snort came from my mouth.”Wait, you lied to me?”

“I just wanted to tell you how much of a bad situation you were in. I was trying to help you.”

“By lying to me? You’re no better than that sick bastard over there.”

“Isn’t such a saint now is he?’

“Joey shut up! You are far more worse and quite frankly you’re just unforgiveable.”

“So you can forgive this fag but not me? Wow… just wow.”

“Joey honey, give it up. I don’t want you, go back to Brooke and raise your kid and stop worrying about what I do. You do not own me. Last time I checked you aren’t my father so stop acting like it.”

He grinned.”You’re going to lose everything without me.”

“What, you? I’ll be glad if you just left for good.”

He placed his hand on his heart.”Ouch! That hurts Kim.”

“I hate you.”

That word must’ve been very powerful because he stopped laughing and grinning. Instead he looked a bit crushed.

“You hate me?”

I nodded.”I’ve never hated a person so much in my life.”

One tear rolled down his cheek, he hurried and wiped it off and sniffled a little.

“I—I”

He just turned and started running towards the road. Every once in a while he’d turn his head and stare at me.

As he foot stepped on the black, dirty road he turned one last time. His face actually looking as if he was sorry. As if he was sorry for causing so much anguish and grief in my life. As if he was actually hurt by what I said.

I looked down for just a second, only a second.

“Joey!” I heard Landon scream from out the corner of my ear.

I looked up, my eyes grew big in fear. “Nooo!”

It was too late.

I was too late.

Joey lay on the ground.

And the truck stopped on the side.

The front end of the truck practically ripped off and blood on the bumper.

And for once, I didn’t run away from Joey.

I ran towards him.