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Pain Unbearing

Novel By: poet 3
Young Adult


A story that I started writing today in school that I really liked. So if you like it, please tell me and I will continue with it! :DDDD View table of contents...

Chapters:

1 2 3 4

Submitted: Feb 4, 2008    Reads: 111    Comments: 6    Likes: 0   


“Matthew!”
The shout broke the silence that had descended across the yard where the boys were playing together. A young girl, around 8 years old, ran through the rain with her blue eyes shining in the dust colored afternoon. Her curly brown hair framed her cream colored face perfectly as she smiled, her white teeth shining. She was the prettiest girl in the whole neighborhood, at least, Matthew thought so.
“Hiya Arin! We were just playing soccer, wanna join?” Arin smiled again as she rolled up her sleeves and pulled back her hair, tying it securely, before she ran to join in the game. They played for hours until the dusty afternoon settled into a calm blackness as night fell. It told them all one thing, they had missed supper, again. Matthew and Arin walked down the street, holding hands as Matthew walked her to her door. She hated going up by herself whenever her Father was home.
“Mattie? Will you come inside with me?” As much as he liked Arin, he would not go inside that house. Her dad scared him, with all his yelling and screaming. This time though, he was saved from answering by the already drunken man. He stumbled to the door and grabbed Arin by the arm, wrenching her inside.
“Get home boy! Yer not wanted here!” His normally husky voice slurred by alcohol. Matthew quickly ran down the stairs and didn’t stop until he reached his home next door. Matthew ripped open the door and ran up to his room, slamming the door shut behind him. He crossed over the large room with the Buzz Light Year posters stretched across the walls, stopping when he reached the window facing Arin’s home.  He pulled open the window slowly to stop the creaking from alerting his parents down the hall. When it was open, he patiently waited until Arin appeared at her window facing his. When he first saw her come into the room, her eyes were red and puffy from crying and she had red marks on her face, arms and shoulders that would be bruises by morning. Matthew had never actually seen her Father hit her, but he always saw the results. When she saw him standing by his normal spot, like every other night since he was five, she lost the look of dejection that had clouded her face moments before and replaced it with a smile.
“Hey Mattie!” She whispered softly.
“Thanks for walking me home. I guess I came back too late.” Matthew smiled as he heard her laughter drift from the other house. She always laughed about her mistakes and her fathers way of treatment. It was how she dealt with it. They talked for hours after that, regretfully having to say good night all to soon, crawling into bed and leaving the window open, in case Arin wanted to talk about something. It was like a tradition now. The next days, and years, were always similar to this, the happy, carefree beginnings and the sad, painful endings. This was how it used to be between them…until she met Corey.


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Comments:

I liked this beginning , i think it is a good history to be developed . But , are you intending to turn this history to a kind of CSI investigation? If it is i think will be nice because i had this impression when i read it. But you write very well , anything you do probably will be good.

Posted: Feb 5, 2008

Author Comment:

Actually, No I wasnt planning on using a CSI type plot. I am going to write it like a normal story, the begining was just to get you hooked and leave you suspenseful! :DDD
I am glad you liked it and will start writing more of it soon! When I get the next chapters up in my other two stories! :DDD

sort of sad that her dad beats her but so far its really cool... keep up the great work april!!!

Posted: Feb 11, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanx! I got the next chapters already written, I just need to type them up and post them! :DDDD
Hope you come back REALLY soon, cuz it is kinda boring there now... :DDDDD

Robert Storm.
(not registered user)

Pretty Good. Were is your evil wicked stories about the demons. I don't see them on here now. You had some cool stuff going on in those. I think it was you. I don't know it has been a while. Oh check out my new site going up, maybe you will work on some stuff and let me see it. www.freewebs.com/robertstorm.

Posted: Feb 25, 2008

Author Comment:

Oh it's Robert!
Ok!
The name in the comment box comes up blank so I was a little confused! :D
But yeah, I think I will check it out1 :D

And yeah, I had tdemon stories I think... But They weren't evil wicked.
Just about the Demon and Angel switching roles. They are called "Side story to Orynnfireheart's 666p program 1 and 2"
But I'm not sure if those were the ones you were talking about... :D

i like this. i'm looking forward to reading more. nicely written!

Posted: Mar 4, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks!
This one is actually not going to be fantasy, but I hope you will enjoy it anyway! :D

OK i got up to 'he was saved from answering by the already drunken man.' and now im scared for Arin! lol! ok i'll read more... and i don't like corey! lol dont ask why!

Posted: Apr 4, 2008

Author Comment:

I don't like Corey either! :D

Tor Steinsland
(not registered user)

Nice start, you got me hooked.

A tip: I guess you write in Word, and start each paragraph with an indent, made by the tab-button, or the ruler. Then you paste to Booksie and the indents are gone.
I uses 5 spacres for indent, or you could use a blank line. When I'm finished editing I save it as pure txt, and then paste it.

Posted: Apr 22, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks!
I will try that in the next chapter! The 5th one should be up by tonight I hope!
I'm glad you liked it!



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