Random First Lines:     the day i woke up i felt no different then i usaully did  i felt like myself of course... : Fantasy » Read

Welcome Visitor: Login to the siteJoin the site


Sixteen year old Madisyn meets Kaidyn one night in an alley, and sees something she knows can't be real. View table of contents...

Chapters:

1 2

Submitted: Jul 11, 2008    Reads: 148    Comments: 10    Likes: 1   


As Madisyn Day walked nervously down the deserted alleyway,her fear skyrocketed as she heard a bang that caused her to jump. It was midnight, and she was on her way home after a night at her friend Roxi's house, despite her family's protests. Madisyn's parents were away on their third honeymoon, since on both of their previous ones,she and her older brother Jaykob were around. The banging continued some more, and Madisyn could no longer tell herself that it was just cats, prowling around in search of food. Quickening her pace,she took in a deep breath, trying to stay calm. Suddenly, a figure appeared in front of her, as if out of nowhere, and despite her fear,she held in the scream threatening to fly out of her mouth.

"Well, well, well," the voice, deep and masculine and sultry said, "what do we have here?"

"Who-who are you?"She asked, cursing herself for stuttering. The guy smiled, and Madisyn was shocked by the white of his teeth, easily visible in the pitch blackness that was the night.

"Oh, believe me my dear, you don't want to know," he said, his smile becoming somewhat wicked, making her wish she'd stayed behind at Roxi's hosue instead of being stubborn and hard-headed and coming out into the night alone. "Now, what is your name?" He asked, his voice becoming light, the darkness lifting out of it.

"Why does it matter?"She asked, jutting her chin out in what she hoped was a brave look.

"Oh, trust me, it matters," he said, stepping directly in front ofher now so that she could see him clearly, despite the darkness. He had black hair the color of a jinxed black cat's, a square jaw and perfectly straight nose, lush lips perfect for kissing, and a white scar running from his jaw to his chin. He looked to be about a year or two older than Madisyn's sixteen years. So very menacing, yet it seemed as if he was just playing games with her, trying to scare her out of her wits.

"I don't see why,"She muttered, her fear slowly slipping away and turning into annoyance at the guy for holding her up. It was late as it was, and even though her seventeen year old brother wouldn't really care about what hapened to her or how late was out, Madisyn knew for a fact thather parents sure did.

"Hmm, now why not? Please just tell me your name? I'll tell you mine after you tell me yours," he offered, crossing his arms across his muscled chest and leaning on the alley wall, still managing to block her path.

"Madisyn. You're turn now,"She said with a sigh, running her fingers through her plain black hair streaked with teal highlights all throughout.

"Kaidyn. That's a nice name you have. So you want something to drink? I do."She was about to shake her head and ask why in the world he'd ask to go for a drink after midnight, when suddenly she caught sight of something unusual sticking out of his mouth. There, sharp and needle thin, white as all his other teeth, were two fangs, one on each side of his mouth, glinting in the darkness.

Kaidyn watched in amusement as Madisyn stared at him in shock, her aquamarine eyes wide with fear and alarm. He wouldn't really suck her blood, for he was more partial to tall blondes, but that didn't mean he couldn't have a little early morning fun messing with her head. She took slow, cautious steps backward, but tripped over a pile of garbage and landed hard on her back, smacking her head on the hard asphalt of the alleyway. His amusement quickly turned to concern as she didn't open her eyes and Kaidyn quickly made his way over to her, leaning down and examining her. He made his fangs slide back into their normal appearance of canine teeth, sighing at the feel of restriction. Kaidyn didn't like hiding his fangs any more than hiding who he really was, not only from his friends, but from his parents, too, but if he wanted to live something that resembled a normal life, then he had to hide the fangs, and the slight red tint that took over his eyes when he'd deprived himself for too long. Carefully, he picked Madisyn up in his arms and ran as swiftly as he possibly could to her house, which he'd found insinctively. Ringing the doorbell until it was finally opened by a guy that looked to be about a year younger than his own eighteen years wearing boxers, Kaidyn walked in without being invited and laid Madisyn-his sister, he was guessing-on the black leather couch.

"Better take her to her room. She'll freak if she finds out she was laying on the leather. Has major issues about Mom buying real leather. Come on, I'll show you," the guy said, no modesty or extra concern for his sister. He headed easily up the stairs, as if nothing was wrong, and Kaidyn followed, Madisyn's light body once again cradled in his arms like a young child, her pretty face calm and peaceful, as if she hadn't fallen and been knocked out, all because she had seen his fangs.

"Just lay her on the bed. Watch out though, her room's a maze. She rarely cleans. So what happened? Who are you, anyways?" Her brother asked, scratching his dirty blonde hair, so much different than his sister's black hair with the cool teal streaks all through it. He was much more muscular than Kaidyn, and looked like he worked out on a regular basis and wore polos and perfect fitting jeans, much unlike his sister's current gray skinny jeans and gray tank top with a black one on top, topped off with black Converse hightops. Kaidyn was dressed much the same, except his skinny jeans were black and he was wearing a black shortsleeved top that his mom had obviously shrunk in the wash with plain black tennis shoes.

"She tripped and hit her head. It knocked her out, so I carried her home. My name's Kaidyn Luna. I just moved here with my parents a few weeks ago."

"Really dude? But it's the middle of the school year. I'm Madi's older brother Jaykob, by the way. You a senior, then?"

"Yeah, you too? I'm eighteen already, but I got a late start on school, so I'm older than most people in my classes."

"Oh, that's cool, I guess. So do you play sports or anything? I'm on the football team-captain. If you wanna play, I might be able to pull some strings."

"Nah, I'm more quiet, kinda like to hang back and just observe."

"Wow, sounds like Madi's finally found her match. Well, I'll take care of her from here, so you can just head home."

Without waiting to respond, Kaidyn just went back down the stairs and out the door, welcoming the cool night air that came with the spring days they'd been having. He felt much more at home outside, probably because he'd spent so much time outdoors as a child.He and his fatherused to go fishing and swimming and even jet skiing a time or two, and at night they'd camp out and do lots of outdoor activities, so the wilderness was his only true friend, and the best thing was that he could never drink it's blood. Sighing and not caring if anyone was watching, Kaidyn simply changed into a bat and flew home, needing to get some sleep and get ready for his first day at a new school the next day.

Tired beyond belief, Madisyn focused on staying awake in first period world history, though she knew it was no use. She always managed to fall asleep and get detention from Mr. Hanson, an old man taking his anger on his wife leaving him after thirty five years out on his students. Roxi sat beside her, already asleep, but she never fought it. She just let herself sleep, not caring about the inevitable detention that was to come. Robert, a senior on her brother's football team came into the room and brought a note to Mr. Hanson, and when he signaled for Madisyn to come to his desk, she furrowed her brows and thought of all the reasons he would be calling her to his desk.

"It seems that the principal needs you in the office. Take your stuff, because I don't know when or if you'll be returning," he said to her, pointing to the door and shooing her out. Walking down the hall and taking the long way to the office, Madisyn tried to think of all the possibilities she'd be sent to the office. As she walked through the door to Principal Johnson's office, she walked right by everything without paying attention, just knocking on the door to Principal Johnson's door.

"Why hello, Madisyn! Such a pleasure to see you."

"Hey Principal J. What did I do this time?" Madisyn asked, wanting to get straight to the point so she could go back to world history and catch up on lost sleep.

"We have a new student joining us today, and I was hoping you would show him around. I think you're perfect for the job, since you're always causing mischief all over the school." She could tell by his tone that he was teasing and couldn't help but smile.

"Sure, I'll do it. So where he? Who is he?" She asked, looking around the office waiting area and finding no one.

"Right here behind us. Madisyn Day, I'd like you to meet Kaidyn Luna. Kaidyn Luna, meet your tour guide, Madisyn Day." Principal Johnson just left them there, Kaidyn staring at her, a goofy smile on his face andMadisyn staring at him in horror.


1

Email this story Email this story | Print Story Print Story | Add to reading list

Comments:

I like the idea. You haven't quite grasped my attention though. It's an interesting, and well likable story so far. You also made a few mistakes here and there, putting two words together, a bit of misspelling and punctuation. Ha Ha you like names with y huh? Madyson, Kaidyn, and Jaykob. Wowza! Ha Ha but cool names none the less. Something you shouldn't do is switch to two different sides of the stories. It's terribly confusing, switching between two people. Plus, the point of speaking in first person is NOT knowing what the other person thinks or what they're doing. So when you mix it up like that, it tells us stuff that we shouldn't know unless the narrator (first person telling the story) knows. What you can do, is either write in third person, or if you still want to switch like that, put KAIDYN'S P.O.V (point of view). It's easier that way. But other then that, I thought it was very good! I hope you update soon:)

Posted: Jul 12, 2008

Author Comment:

Okay, thank you for the advice. Once I went through it this morning, I got a little confused myself, so I'll have to change that. I see where you're coming from, because I got a little confused myself. Yes, I was typing fast and I was tired, but I wanted to get the idea out, so there's some spelling an dpunctuation mistakes, but I'll go through and check them. Yes, I love names with 'y' and spelling names differently than they usually are. It just seems so much cooler. Thank you so much for the coment!! I'm so glad you took the time to read it!!

Plz Tell Me Wen Yhuu Update =]=]

Posted: Jul 12, 2008

Author Comment:

Okay. Not sure yet when I will, but I'll definately let you know. Glad you liked it enough to comment on it!!

LOVE IT!!!!!!!I Can't wait till the 2nd chapter

Posted: Jul 12, 2008

Author Comment:

I'm so glad you enjoyed it!!!! Don't worry, it will be coming soon!!!

I love it update soon plez is she going to fant again??

Posted: Jul 13, 2008

Author Comment:

I'm not sure yet. Maybe. I don't know though. It depends on how the story plays out. I'm glad you like it. I'm in the process of developing a new chapter, so the wait won't be long!!

wow!!! i looove it! please update soon...haha your protagonist is very likable!..tell me when ya updat please! :)

Posted: Aug 12, 2008

Author Comment:

haha, thnx a lot. i'm working on the next chapter, so it will be up sonner or later. yea, i'll definately keep ya updated. i wanted to make my characters unconventional, so i hope i'm succeeding. i like making the situation into something you didn't expect, so i'm glad you're enjoying it!!

Original yet the same---in a good way of course. =D lol This is really amazing. please update soon!

Posted: Aug 27, 2008

Author Comment:

don't worry, I'm working no a new chapter!! glad you enjoyed!!

please keep me posted!

+Hecate+

Posted: Aug 30, 2008

Author Comment:

definately!!

Mz_Calenna
(not registered user)

Plz update soon the suspense is killin me.!.

Posted: Sep 6, 2008

Author Comment:

haha no worries, i'm workin on it. I've just been so busy that I haven't had time to write anything!!

Great story and thanks for telling me about it! Also thanks for the compiment, I don't believe my writing is all that everyone is making it out to be but then again who really does? Anyways great great beginning!!! I'm on to the next chapter now!
*Cheetah*

Posted: Sep 23, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you!! Yeah, I just really wanted your opinion on it!! I don't think anyone thinks their writing is all that great-I don't!!-but I agree when you say that I don't think anyone does!! Thanks and have fun!!

great great start!!! can't wait to see where this goes...off to the next chapter :)

Posted: Oct 27, 2008

Author Comment:

hahaha thnx and have fun!!



Add Your Comments:

Your Name:

Spam protection control::

© Copyright 2008 Poison Passion All rights reserved. Poison Passion has granted theNextBigWriter, LLC non-exclusive rights to display this work on Booksie.com.

Add to Reading List
Become a fan
Email this story Email this story
Read/Write Reviews Read/Write Reviews
Print Story Print Story



Other writing by Poison Passion Key To My Heart The Man on the Other Side Untold Secrets The Right Type Still In Love With You More..



Tags

Love, Poetry, Death, Life, Poem, Romance, Pain, Fantasy, Hope, Sad, Sex, Hate, God, Horror, War, Humor, Hurt, Sadness, Loss, Dark, Fiction, Depression, Heart, Family, Faith.

About | News | Contact | Your Account | TheNextBigWriter | Advertise

© 2008 TheNextBigWriter, LLC. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy Policy.