I had never ever in my entire life would have thought that this day would come, not in a thousand years would I ever guessed that we will actually move out and not only from our house or town but also from our province. Johannesburg is the only city I have called home for the past 13 years of my life and to have to move to another city and province; it's not cool. I'm very moody and today I have mixed emotions, I am very disappointed, sad, annoyed you name it and I can't even cry because that's what I have been doing since I was told we were moving. Even though my dad told me that he won't sell the house, it doesn't feel right, because this is where I was born and brought up and it just has many memories. I had already felt the sense of belong here and was so used to people here that having to make new friends, meet new neighbors and also start a new school seems like a mission impossible for me, my dad couldn't pick the right time for us to move, with me just getting into my teen years, I need my friends and those close people to be there for me because it's going to be hard.
Houghton has been my place of resident for almost 14 years now as I'm going to be turning 14 this year on the 25th of the month of August. This birthday will be extremely different from others because one of the most important people in my life will not be there; my mom. She died on a car accident last year on September; it was huge tragedy in our family and still is because she was the rock of both me and my dad and to have her die in front of us was traumatizing. We were coming back from a birthday celebration of an organization that helps mostly women to make a change in the world and my mom was being honored for all the work she had done with and without the organization. She was so happy, I remember that day and she looked very beautiful and kept smiling all the evening.
I recall begging her to sit on the backseat as we were about to leave after the event and she refused but I begged and begged until she finally gave in and said I should. When we arrived at the main road, we waited as the robots were a little busy even though there weren't many cars on the road, and when the green lights flashed my dad revived the engine and drove but as we were exactly at the cross junction a car came out of no where and it looked as if the police were chasing it and it hit our car right at the back, where my mom was sitting and to think that I had begged her to sit there kills me even now. What was the worst about it all was that she died in our arms; mine and dad's while waiting for an ambulance, you know how long the paramedics take.
'I love you' those were the last word she uttered before she passed on; I cried like hell that night and my dad was always the strong one in the family and never had I ever saw any tears from his eyes but that day I did. We were both a mess as that hour of death had knocked at our door, there was blood everywhere and my dad knew she wouldn't make it but I just kept hoping for a miracle to happen but it never did, she passed on right in front of me while in pain. So leaving this house feels like leaving her behind and doing everything without her. But something that I have learnt from my mom was this 'sometimes we have to move on but that doesn't mean we have to forget all the memories we shared with those who are no longer here with us' so by doing this I think my dad is trying to convince himself that he has moved on when we both know that is not true.
'Kristy!' my dad called out as he was coming to my bedroom but was still in the stairs as I heard the foot steps that he was taking each time. I quickly stood up from my bed as I didn't want him to get mad because I was just chilling in here doing nothing. He found me standing when he walked in, 'are you ready?' he asked hastily. 'Yeah I think I have everything in here' I said as I looked around the room one more time and then back at my dad. 'Okay let's go then' he said it like we were just going to the town and will be back after a few hours but this was not that I was going to where I will never ever be back even though it's around the country; I will be hours away from JB. My dad took two of my suit cases and without any other word, he was out of the room and I knew what I had to do and that was to follow him.
I slowly dragged myself downstairs and to even make this departure even late than it was planned, I took the stairs instead of the elevator. I had before thought that I wouldn't cry because I have done that but tears were in my eyes and I couldn't push them back. To think that this was it was hard for me to swallow so I went ahead and cried but of course I couldn't let my dad see that because he would feel real bad so I put my sunglasses on and went to the car. 'You shouldn't bother yourself with that' said a bodyguard as he helped me with the bags and I then got in. I had my tablet on so that I can avoid any eye contact with my dad as he will surely see that I'm busy shedding tears. To think that there wasn't anyone to say goodbye to us was very usual because ever since my mom passed on, we are no longer socialites so I don't even have people I can say are my friends and I would definitely miss or who loved me enough and felt the need to say their goodbyes so socially I had nothing to lose.
WE ARRIVED AT THE O.R Tambo airport and we had to wait for few minutes because we were a little bit early for the flight. I was relived at first because I would have just take any excuse just to stay here for one more minute but when the time came for us to depart, it was really hard for me, I got up from the seat and followed my dad as I walked down the terminal to the gate and for the first time the idea of me moving actually sank in and I turned and looked back 'I guess this is where I finally cut my ties with the city of gold' I said to my self as I put up a counterfeit smile. 'Kristy, are you coming?' my dad shouted after he noticed that I was in a standstill moment. That was all he can say, few words and then he feels like he has said more than enough, I hated that he and I didn't communicate.