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Falling For Hate

Novel By: sam316547
Young Adult


Ryain is having an unusally good day, from the minute she wakes up things go the way there ment to. She even passes her math finals.
On a roll her best friend Megan's mom invits her to join them at a local fair that she helped oragnize. Something goes horribly wrong......People start getting masacared by the fairs hosts.....Who seemed to be blood thristy vampires.
While running for there life Ryain and Megan run into the preson who set up the intire disater.
What happens when a vampire takes intrest in you?


:)I'll update the summary later, I hate spoiling....
PS I'm having trouble with the name if you have an idea plez comment. I'll give you creit. View table of contents...

Chapters:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23

Submitted: Aug 9, 2008    Reads: 322    Comments: 18    Likes: 8   


Chapter Three

It was a bit hard to see clearly, I had to strain my neck to see over my attacker’s shoulder. I shouldn’t of bothered, I quickly turned away the sight was nearly unbearable. The guards were disgusting vile creatures. That looked like human-sized lizards, I think.

I looked back this time closer, I realized that they had parts of many animals. The head of a toad, but the constant flickering tongue of a snake. The body was that of an alligator and the limbs reminded me a lot of the Komodo dragon’s. They made my stomach turn, I felt like my face should be gray. I looked away; the last thing I needed was to heave. The scene of the once blissful fair was no better. Though the numbers were greatly decreased, there were still several people running towards the gate.

The next scene made me shut my eyes to block out the painful tugs at my heart. I couldn’t just watch them die, especially knowing that I can’t help them.

For the first time in my life, I believed that monsters really did exist. The worst part is that it wasn’t just vampires, there were several other ’things’ out there. Things I can’t even name true monsters.

The gate opened with a hesitant squeak. On instinct I opened my eyes, a girl was almost in my reach. She had tears of fear in her eyes. The gentle tugging in my heart became a full on squeeze.

She was younger than I was, by a lot. She was maybe only 11 or 12. Her white dress was slashed with holes and rips. Her olive skin had large cuts beneath those holes and rips, that were gushing continuously to where must of her dress was drenched. I could feel my own tear building this wasn’t fair. Why were so many people dying? Why was I being taken from it all?

The little girl continued to come closer, slower now like she was afraid of my attacker.... Or from the pain the wounds that painted her body probably caused. I wanted to look away but I couldn’t.

Instead she was taken away, so fast I was barely able to blink and she was gone. One of the guards had gotten her.

I shut my again, hoping to block out the scene. I was about to cover my ears to muffle the screams I was sure I’d hear. When none came I rested my head from the strain. I tried to block everything out, but all I could see in my thoughts were her blood-shot hazel eyes. Why that little girl? She didn’t do anything!

I could feel my attacker’s almost weightless steps below me. As the screams died down I knew we were outside the gate and headed away from the massacre. It was never a fair...So it shouldn’t be referred to as one.

“Where are you taking me?” I really didn’t want to know I just wanted to die. Like everyone else...

Though I tried I know my voice cracked a little, my tears were beginning to reach my cheeks. Instead of answering me he let out half a chuckle. It sounded like he’d tried (Maybe) to hold it back.

‘Your not upset are you?” I didn’t respond I was a bit shocked. Oh no I’m not upset! I see death EVERYDAY it’s part of my life. I was surprised by how quickly I got over the shock. I was already pissed off.

Of course I’m not upset. WHY WOULD I BE UPSET?” He laughed this time.

“Well clearly you’re not....” The hand he was using to hold me up and over his shoulder gripped barely tighter and he pulled me off and allowed my legs to touched the ground. He still held my waist with his hand, oh the joy. I glared at him. He grinned like he could care less.

“Hi there!” Smart a**. He snickered and then continued.

“Did you have fun at the fair? Cause I enjoyed...” I didn’t care if he was a vampire, I’d probably die anyways. I pulled my hand back and tried to slap him.

(I’d forgotten about the whole vampire reflexes.) He grabbed my hand mid-air before I even had half a chance.

“I think someone needs to take a nap. You’re a bit cranky.” He bent down to where his lips were extremely close to my ear.

“I’d let you walk but then I wouldn’t be able to enjoy your skirt.” He laughed and threw me roughly over his shoulder. I’m most likely lucky nothing broke.

“PERVERT!” He chuckled some more and mumbled

“Sticks and stones may break my bones....”

“Yeah right if that worked I would have already tried.”

“I’m sure.” I rolled my eyes; I could see the dark blue sky lightening at the horizon. What time was it? Even if I was tired, and I was, I wasn’t going to let my guard down.

A few minutes later he eased me off his shoulder, again. This time I realized why. We were in a parking lot, the ’fair’s’ parking lot. There were so many cars...

How many people were dying right now? How many are already.... I couldn’t finish my thought. It was too painful.

So instead I focused on what was happening right now. What were his plans?

We were in front of a long black car. Almost like a miniature limo. To help my theory, a man got out of the car from the driver’s seat and was in front of us in a flash.

He bowed nimbly in my attacker’s direction and pulled the back door open for.... Us? Like I cared, I wasn’t getting in, if he was going to kill me he was going to do it now or never no....

“In you go.” With the slightest shove my body flung clear across the seat to the other door.

He slammed the first door shut and proceeded to climb into the next row.

THAT’S RIGHT YOU BETTER PUT SOME DISTANCE BETWEEN US.

“Get comfortable it’s going to be a long drive.” He chuckled. At the moment there is no one else in my life right now that I hate more than my attacker. I wonder if the jerk even has a name. Well he failed to mention it if he did; maybe stupid demons don’t give their young names.

I pressed my back against the leather seat. The doors had some weird lock on it. You had to type in a code for it to unlock. Oh the joy.

It certainly didn’t help that the seat was so damn soft and I was so damn tired. I wasn’t giving up though. Maybe an hour passed before he spoke again, this time his was teasing like he was ready for another mental game.

“Are you going to fight your eye lids the whole 5-hour drive?” He laughed; I didn’t find him the least bit amusing.

“I’m not fighting my eyelids. There’s no competition on who’s going to win.”

“Says you.” He managed to say between chuckles.

I sighed. I hope I don’t have to deal with him much longer.

When he finally stopped laughing the silence in the car lasted for a very long time. It wasn’t helping, even if I hate him the silence was pushing me closer to sleep.

Eventually he gave in, I think. It had been at least 3 hours since I’d heard his disturbing voice. His words sent my heart racing like someone was holding a gun to my head. It might as well be a gun.

“How bad do want to live?”


8

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Comments:


Holy.... Wow, the end to that chapter was not expected. Update ASAP :)

Posted: Aug 9, 2008

Author Comment:

:) WILL DO. THNX.

Not what I was expecting. This is really good. Going to the next chapter.

Posted: Aug 10, 2008

Author Comment:

Well it's not really a chapter....It's just pictures! LOL. I'm glad you like it. :) hehe

I wonder SHOULD I READ IT???? It has already given me a real nightmare but okay, it is irresistible.

Good... very interesting, let's see where are they going.

Posted: Aug 10, 2008

Author Comment:

HA! Your in for a disapointment....No worries the 'Real' 4th chapter will be up tomorrow. :)

ok i am really loving it and i'm kind of hating him but i'm not sure yet

Posted: Aug 10, 2008

Author Comment:

Oh feel free to hate him. I do...For now anyways. Ha!
LOL. THNX again. :)

poor girl... i'd kill 'im! rwar even if he was a vamp i'd still find a way... TRUST ME!

Posted: Aug 10, 2008

Author Comment:

!!!!!SO WOULD I!!!! Your really gonna hate him in the next chapter I promise. HA lol.

"I shut my again," I think you mean I shut my eyes again.

y tighter and he pulled me off and allowed my legs to touched the ground." I think you mean to touch the ground.

Just a thought before I continue, you really should try and avoid speaker confusion with the way you posted this. For example:

“Of course I’m not upset. WHY WOULD I BE UPSET?” He laughed this time.

I know the narrator is saying that, but it reads like your vampire is saying it. Just keep that in mind.

“I’d let you walk but then I wouldn’t be able to enjoy your skirt.” He laughed and threw me roughly over his shoulder. I’m most likely lucky nothing broke.

“PERVERT!” He chuckled some more and mumbled (move he chuckled to the next line)

“Sticks and stones may break my bones....”

“Yeah right if that worked I would have already tried.”

GREAT LINE. Though your narrator seems a little hard to believe at some parts, what you lose for believability you make up with zest.


"It certainly didn’t help that the seat was so damn soft and I was so damn tired. I wasn’t giving up though. Maybe an hour passed before he spoke again, this time his was teasing like he was ready for another mental game. "

Expand on this! This is why I feel a little rushed. There is so much development for both Ryain and for the vampire. Is he watching her or is he staring out the window. Expand.



Very good, just a few things I saw. This is heating up and that is good. Again, I will say, slow down elaborate expand. There are a ton of rich details you can add! KEEP WRITING!

Posted: Aug 11, 2008

Author Comment:

WILL DO! THNX so much for putting up with me! I promise to slow this train down! No worries.

THNX very much for the helpful comments. :)

crap eh!
nice last words:)
awesome!

Posted: Aug 11, 2008

Author Comment:

! THNX !

another hatefull guy? damn... /sigh

Posted: Aug 11, 2008

Author Comment:

Whatz that suppose to mean.....LOL!

Tori has this thing for guys who beat up their chicks... it's really annoying but i love her anyways LOL

Posted: Aug 15, 2008

Author Comment:

:) haha. I like domance but not abuse....... :)

HAHAHAHHA!!BREVERTED VAMPIRE!!!!XP!!!!

Posted: Aug 23, 2008

Author Comment:

XD!!!!!!!! I know, huh.

aaa sooo sry im late in commenting!! *slaps self*
right um there are a few grammatical mistakes but the idea on the whole is rly good!!

i looovve the way it ended!
"“How bad do want to live?”"
aaa it makes me itch with curiosityyy!!

good job ^^

Posted: Aug 25, 2008

Author Comment:

:) yay. it's ok. ^^ LOL. i'm always late to everything I understand... :) !!!

Well...the girl did get kidnapped by a vampire...but this time it was in the 2nd chapter and not the first like all the other stories I read lol. Is this going to be one of those stories where she discovers she has power? Or are they going to torture her before they kill her? TORTURE! lol.

Posted: Sep 2, 2008

Author Comment:

haha. Sort of...NO POWER!!!! I hate that idea! No!!!!!!! I plan to make it creepy,bloody,,Blunt and very cruel.....Using hate-love. What's more evil?
Yeah I know I couldn't resist the kiddnapping though......I luv suspense too much. :)

another great chapter...i got a little confused at certian parts though, about who was saying what...basically i agree with Cyrus Merces, just make sure you don't have one character saying something, and another character doing someing one right after the other (sorry if that doesn't make sense...my mind's a little weird sometimes) other then that it's a great chapter :)

Posted: Oct 2, 2008

Author Comment:

I understand what you mean! I thought that too...I'm just not really sure how to fix it...Basically who ever does something after dialong is who's saying it. :)

I love the way that vampire is treating Ryain. I think he is showing her his best side as of now and treating her like a lady.

Can't wait to lay my paws on the next chapter, so on to the next before I am given anything else to do.

Posted: Oct 21, 2008

Author Comment:

:( You are going to be disapointed... LOL. Yep. Derek's a keeper (that's his name BTW.) A little rough around the edges but he learns later on.. :)


:)

Posted: Oct 26, 2008

Author Comment:

:)

omg...cliff hanger *goes to next chapter*

Posted: Oct 27, 2008

Author Comment:

LOL. :)

sick those monster toad things r awesome i love the description it like watching a movie off to chap 4

Posted: Nov 13, 2008

Author Comment:

:) lol. THNX Payton. :)

hi! sam. so, this vampire is actually saving ryian's life and knows much about her. he seems powerful and rish too. so, what actually is his mission apart from the usual romance that may develop between the two later on. it gets interesting by each chapter. lol. ;-)

Posted: Nov 18, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks again Bubbly. I'm really glad your enjoying it. :)



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