Chapter 2: Alone In A Crowd
Diary entry :
I didn't think it possible. As I made my way through the school's entrance, with ten of my friends in tow all talking to me at once, a heavy pressure of loneliness crushed my lungs, forcing me to take small gasps of breaths to calm myself. How could I possibly feel lonely when surrounded by girls who had been my friends for more than three years?
"So Casey!" I turned to Melissa who was on my right side. "Listen, I was thinking of coming up with a catchy little phrase for our club and ended up printing a bunch of copies to post all over school. Sadly, I can't do it because of band practice so can you do it for me?"
I don't want to! I have better things to do! "Sure, I have nothing to do after school today anyway." Mentally cursing myself for once again editing my thoughts, I took the stack of papers she had been carrying. One of the things I hate about myself: I'm not… real. I'm what you could call "fake". Because of my inability to hurt, whether it be physically or emotionally, anyone, I can't bring myself to voice my real thoughts on the subject. I sighed as I imagined myself running around the school, posting up stupid "club phrases".
As I saw my sister walking ahead of me with her group of friends, I separated myself from my group of friends and speed walked until I caught up with my sister.
"Casey!" I turned toward one of my sister's friend, Samantha, who was coming toward me with her arms open.
"Hey Samantha!" I said as I hugged her. Although she was my sister's friend and was in eleventh grade, we took one class together which sort of made us friends.
As my sister and her friends chattered all the way to class, I quietly walked behind them in silence. This… this was what it meant to be alone in a crowd.