I was released from the hospital at six and I gently changed into some stretchy shorts and a tank top with my nursing bra on, I wasn't as sore as I thought I would be. I gently put Starry in her car seat and she had the little covers on her hands so she wouldn't scratch her face. She was sucking on her pacifier and we got to the car that Austin had pulled up, my mom was at home making sure everything was ready for Starry. I got in the back and I got Starry settled in and stayed in the back with her so I could calm her down. We pulled up to the house and I got out and then I got her car seat and we walked inside the house, it felt good just walking inside my own home. My mom smiled "Everything is ready for Starry. We even made a sign last night to welcome her home." My mom said pointing to the sign that said Welcome home Starry!!! I smiled and I set Starry's car seat on the coffee table and I got her out and held her in my arms, she was still asleep. "Would you like to hold her?" I asked my mom "Sure." She said and she gently took Starry from me "I can't believe you're going home tomorrow." I said "I need to get back to work. I will get a break around Christmas." She said "Please come back." I said "I will." She said smiling at me "How old are your boyfriend's kids?" I asked "Brent is two, Taylor is seven, Holly is five, Steven is eleven, and then Nick is sixteen." My mom said and I smiled so she was having a second chance with children "I'm not replacing you girls." She said "good, because that's impossible to do." I said and she smiled.
After giving Starry a grandtour we stopped in her room and she was fussy so I sat on the rocking chair and put the feeding cover over her and breast fed her, it felt different than when Kelsey did it. Afterwards I burped her and gave her the pacifer back and I put her in the bassinet we had in the living room, we had one in our room too. I sat down next to her and began my school work, I still had one more class left to do for the week. Starry the slept the whole time, as it is now she sleeps for four hours and then she wants fed and changed. Austin went out to go pick up Kelsey from daycare and to get something for dinner, I wasn't in the mood to cook. My mom smiled at me "You are such a great mom." She said and I smiled "Thank you." I said and the door open and Bella came in and smiled, she was quiet so not to wake up Starry "I'm doing my homework, mom want to help?" Bella asked and my mom nodded and went to help her. I closed my laptop and put it up and then I moved into the kitchen to get something to drink with the baby monitor on my hip even if I was just a room away from Starry. This is already so much better than when Kelsey came home from the hospital. I wasn't alone, I actually have my mom and my husband here for support and then my second family. Looking at Bella and then Starry I had a memory:
It was two years earlier, and I was at home with a new born the same age as Starry. But she looked exactly like me, Bella was doing her homework too.We lived in a not so good place, I was a senior in high school, had my own school work to do too. But this baby was being fussy "Ssh Kelsey. Mommy got you." I said and Bella walked up to me I was rocking Kelsey "Can I help?" She asked as a five year old aunt she was ready to be supportive and helpful "Get me a diaper." I said not really wanting to boss her around but I couldn't think of anything to do. Bella came back with a diaper and I laid Kelsey down who was fussy and Bella sat next to us "Don't worry Kels, your mommy is a good caregiver. She won't hurt you." Bella said trying to sooth Kelsey down, I changed Kelsey diaper and then picked her back up "maybe she's hungry?" Bella asked "Tried that." I said "Oh, maybe she doesn't like this place." Bella said "Maybe."I said rocking her again "Can I hold her and try?" Bella asked "Be very gently." I said gently putting Kelsey in Bella's arms and Bella rocked her "Your auntie got you. I'm not as good as your mommy. But I will protect you too." Bella said and I smiled at her, I had tears in my eyes because I was overwhelm with the stress but I noticed Kelsey quit crying and was finally falling asleep. I gently took Kelsey from Bella and put her in the little crib and then I hugged Bella "We got this. We don't need mom." Bella said and I hugged her.
"Lex?" My mom asked me and I got out of my trance "Is Starry crying?" I asked "No, I was wondering what you were thinking about." She said and I laughed at her "It's nothing." I said and Austin came in with groceries and a little girl who ran straight to her mommy's open arms "You're home!" She whispered not wanting to wake up the sleeping baby she passed by. "I missed you too." I said and she kissed my cheek and held her arms out for her grandma to take her. I laughed "I see how it is." I said and I heard a soft cry and Ausin gently picked her up and smelt her "I got this." He said and I smiled "Okay." I said and my mom laughed "Do you want me to cook?" She asked "You're our guest." I said "I don't mind." She said and I smiled, I remember one time she cooked that stuck out I was five years old and I felt another memory:
"Okay my sweet Lexie-boo, we're going to make Chicken Alfredo and garlic bread tonight. Okay?" My mom asked me I was doing my homework "Yes mommy! Can I help?" I asked eagarly excited that my mom is cooking "Sure sweetie! Go get the pasta noddles." She said and I smiled leaving my homework and getting he pasta, and she turned the music on and she started singing sofly to it and I giggled "Can we dance mommy?" I asked "Yes!" She said and she twirled me around and I was laughing and I heard her sweet laugh "Okay let's put the noodles in. " She said lifting me up and I put the noodles in and we did a high-five. "Stir the noodles!" She said and I did and then she cut up the chicken and had it cooking and I put the garlic bread in and then we danced some more listening to the music. "I love you mommy." I said "I love you too my Lexie-boo." She said and I smelt the food "it smells good mommy." I said and she laughed and the phone rang "That might be your daddy." She said "Can I?" I asked and she nodded "Hello?" I asked "Lexie! Can I speak to your mommy?" Daddy asked "Yeah! I love you daddy!" I said "I love you too!" He said and I handed it to my mom and her mood quickly turned into sadness and she changed it to a sad song "Your daddy won't make it so it's just us to Lexie-boo." She said "We can make it fun!" I said "Did you finish your homework?" she asked "no." I said going back to the homework.
"Mommy?" Kelsey asked she was holding her arms out for me "Sorry baby girl. " I said picking her up and saw that Austin got a healthy dinner for all of us and my mom started cooking "Can we play music?" I asked and I saw a twinkle in her eye "Sure." She said and I turned the music on. "Can I have this dance Kels?" I asked and she smiled and we danced, Austin returned with a sleeping Starry I knew she would be up within an hour to be fed. Austin and Bella ended up dancing and my mom was laughing but Kelsey wanted to dance with her grandma leaving me to dance with Bella and Austin. We were laughing and when dinner was ready we all sat at the table "When does your flight leave?" I asked "I have to be there at five." She said "I will take you." Austin said and I smiled "I'm sorry, I can't take you." I said "Don't be silly you just had a baby." She said and I smiled at her. After dinner I fed Starry and then I put her back in her bassinet and I gave Kelsey a bath and then we tucked her in, Bella went to bed. I put Starry in her bassinet in our room and I hugged my mom good-night.