It’s June 15th and my babies are now eleven months old, they walking and talking some now. This year has flown by quick and Blake is coming home for a month so he will be here on their birthday. He’s about to go to Iraq so he’s able to come home for a month first and then he is gone for a year. I got Starry dressed in her summery dress and Robbie in a cute pair of shorts and blue baby polo. Erica is now 15 years old. We’re going to pick up Blake and then to Erica’s birthday party. She doesn’t know Blake is coming home really nobody does. “Dada?” she asks which means where is my daddy. “We will see him soon.” I said putting them in their car seats and getting in the front seat and we droved to Tampa and got out of the car I placed them both on my hips and walked to the place where we meet them at. Holly is now three years old and she still sees Robbie in her dreams and he is still by her bed at night.
Young men and men came off of the plane and I saw Blake and smiled. They see him on Skype from time to time so they don’t know who he is. He sees us and smiles at me and walks slowly toward us with his duffle bag and sets it on the floor and spins me around kissing my lips. “Starry and Robbie do you remember daddy?” I asked them they were hiding behind me. “No.” they said he smiled at them “Hi Robbie and Starry.” He said Robbie being the brave one waddled over to him and hugged him. He picked him up and spun him around he was laughing. I picked Starry up who wouldn’t go to her daddy and we walk to the car. He smiles at Starry “I love you Starry.” He said she nodded at him looking at her shoes until we pulled up to daddy’s and mom’s place.
Blake gets out opens my car door and gets Robbie out who wanted his daddy and I got Starry out. “Do they know?” he asked I shook my head no and grabbed the wrapped up present and birthday card for Erica. Savannah is even here too so that’s a good thing. I walked in with Starry and mom looked at me weird. Momma was on the couch smiling “where is Robbie?” momma asked “he’s coming.” I said they both looked at me weird but Blake came in and mom screamed and ran up to him and hugged him and playfully punched him. Erica comes in and runs up and hugs him tightly. Daddy came in who was holding Caitlyn she just got done eating you could tell. Blake sat down and Starry finally climbed in his lap for five minutes then went over to me. Robbie wouldn’t leave Blake for nothing. Lexie and Holly came and Holly hugged him. “How long are you here until?” dad asked him “July 15th I leave out. So there party is on the 14th.”
The birthday party went great and we’re home now. We put the kids down for bed and he smiled and kissed my lips. We sat on the swing porch outside together cuddled up. “Colie I miss this. I miss being with you. I miss our children. I miss everything and I can’t wait for the day you become my wife.” He said “When will I become your wife? I’m already the mother to you two kids.” I said to him he looked at me and looked away “when I’m out.” He said “but why wait that long?” I asked “because I want to. It will be the best thing.” He said “How about a no? I’m the mother to your two children.” I said “Wanna try to make it three?” he asked I got up and glared at him “BLAKE AUSTIN WAKEFIELD!” I screamed and walked over to Lexie’s where she was standing on her porch and went inside.
“Colie it will get easier. Trust me life wont be so hard. He will understand soon. And things will be worth it.” Lexie said calming me down I was so upset I was crying. Three hours later Blake knocked at the door I got up and answered it “what do you want?” I asked “well when you screamed my name you kind of woke Starry up and when I try to pick her up she cries and screams louder, and she woke Robbie up and he’s crying I don’t know what to do.” He said I rolled my eyes and walked out the door.
I picked Starry and Robbie up and started singing to them and telling them everything is okay and will be okay. They finally went back to sleep and I glared at Blake and walked into our room and took my contacts out and got in on my side of the bed and rolled over where I’m not facing Blake. “Colie talk to me.” He said I pretended to be asleep “Come on Colie.” He said then finally gave up and turned over on his side.
We went like this for two weeks and finally made up. Did I get my wedding I was hoping for? No I did not I wish I did but no. He left like every other time it wasn’t that hard. The kids cried for an hour but were fine afterwards because they don’t really understand and Starry doesn’t really like him.
My babies are now a year old and Robbie would be twenty because I’m about to be eighteen so next month on the 31st will make it three years without Robbie in our lives. I miss him more and more but you can’t get him back. He’s gone forever no matter what I try he wont be coming back. I see him in my dreams from time to time too. I still remember the day he died and I still blame myself for it. I mean if we would have left when he wanted to he would be raising his three years old daughter not having to see her in her dreams but in life.
I’m in the kitchen fixing the twins lunch and they are watching TV tomorrow is my 18th birthday! “Robbie and Starry it’s lunch time!” I said and they walked in here and sat at the table. I cut up their hotdogs and they started eating them. I handed them their lemonade in their sippy cups. Our days are normally full and everything but the past three days we have been in the house and everything. “Tomorrow we’re going to the beach with grandpa and them and Aunt Lexie and Holly.” I said “Yay!” they said and I smiled at them. The doorbell rang and I got up and saw that it was Erica. “Hey Erica what are you doing here?” I asked “daddy said even if you protest we’re taking Starry and Robbie tonight so you will have a night off and with tomorrow being your birthday you will meet us at the beach with them so I’m here to take them so go pack.” She said smiling and I smiled at her.
Having Blake away is really tough because I get lonely having only the twins to talk to and everything all day long that is. I packed their bags and walked down and saw that Erica was talking to Robbie and Starry and quit talking when I walked in. “Here you go.” I said putting them by the door. “They’re working on potty training right?” she asked I nodded “yeah and they’re almost there too.” I said “Alright. Well I see daddy is pulled around again. So we will see you at the beach tomorrow.” She said “bye Robbie and Starry.” I said “bye mama.” They said “I love you guys.” I said “I wuv you.” They said I smiled and watched as Erica took them out.
Sky came over and smiled “high school graduate here!” She said and I smiled “Good to know!” I said and we went out shopping and everything like we used to do. Sassy barked when we came home she’s two years old now too but still the same dog she was when she was a puppy. “Colie you look beautiful in all your new clothes.” She said “Thanks although I shouldn’t really have done this.” I said “yes you should have and you really should cut your hair again.” She said I rolled my eyes and she walked toward my folders of what I want to do and opened it. “Open a cheer studio?” she asked me “yeah run it for girls 4-18 and do cheerleading and make competitions and everything and make it’s a business and it’s something I love to do.” I said and Sky smiled “that is really a good idea.” She said “Really you think so?” I asked “yeah if I had kids I would put them in it. You’re a really good cheerleader and everything it would be perfect.” She said “when are you gonna get married?” I asked “in October to John.” She said and I smiled at her.
“Happy Birthday Colie!” Everyone said and I smiled at them. Momma, daddy, Mom, Lexie, Sky, Holly, Erica, Savannah, Caitlyn, Starry, Robbie, Aunt Carrie, Uncle Brent, grandma, grandpa, Grandma Holly, Grandpa Henry, and Uncle Jay were all at the beach. “Thank you!” I said and we sat down the twins walked up to me and hugged me. “We wuv you mommy.” They said giving me a kiss and I smiled.
I opened all my gifts and enjoyed it and momma handed me a box. I slowly unwrapped it and there was a pair of keys in it. “What are these for?” I asked “your dream job.” She said and I looked at her weird. “When I was over five months ago I saw this folder so I made your dream come alive. It’s all zebra printed inside and all that is waiting is your name for the place and then you can start making business cards and flyers for your grand opening.” She said “thank you momma I love it!” I said and smiled at her. “Dreamland.” I said remembering Robbie telling me to follow my dreams and that he would see me in dreamland every night.
I droved to my new job and fell in love with the place. The kids enjoyed it too “ya’ll will be here every day expect Sunday.” I said and they smiled at me. When we made it home Blake was calling “hello?” I asked “Happy Birthday baby!” he said “thanks baby!” I said and I told him everything and he was happy for me. I told him I’m opening September 10th since it’s a Saturday and parents will be able to come and check it out more.
September 10th: I woke up got in my black short shorts with the words: Dreamland on them in Hot Pink and then the shirt was Hot pink and in Lime green were Dreamland on them. I had Starry in a Lime green shirt with the words: Dreamland in Hot Pink and black short shorts with the words: Dreamland Dream was in pink and land was in Lime green. “Hi Welcome to Dreamland I’m Colie.” I said and everyone smiled. My students from the 4-7 age groups are: Sophie (4), Abby (4), Cayla (4), Brittany (4), Lizzie (5), Liz (5), Lindsay (5), Ashley (5), Amber (5), Katie (6), Katelyn (6), Kate (6), Katherine (6), Noah (6) Nikki (6), Stephanie (7), Nicole (7), Izzy (7), Melanie (7), Holly (7), Hillary (7), Lilly(7). My 8-11 age group: Carolyn (8), Casey (8), Caitlyn (8), Candy (8), Dana (9), Eva (9), Anna (9), Beth (10), Sasha (10), Lane (10), Brittney (11), Kelly (11). My 12- 15 group: Jane (12), Stacy (12), Angela (13), Jessica (13), Ann (13), Anne (14), Tori (14), Jennifer (14), Jenny (15) LeAnn (15), Carrie (15), Connie (15), Ashley (15). My 16-18 group: Mandy (16), Lizzie (16), Amber (16), Courtney (16), Abby (16), Stephanie (16), Cyndi (16), Cassie (16), Kim (16), Paige (16), Jen (16), Jill (16), Carly (16), Cari (16), Lyndsey (16), Ashley (16), Hayle (17) Hailey (17), Hannah (17), Holly (17), Kelli (17) Kellie (17), Taylor (17), Tara (17), Susan (18), Karen (18), Jenna (18), Ellen (18), Sophia (18), Angel (18), Lena (18), Mary Lou (18), Miranda (18), Melinda (18), Love (18), Hope (18), and Stormy (18) 84 people signed up today and so I have Lexie working with me and Sky, and Savannah is. Sky gets the 4-7, Savannah gets the 8-11, Lexie gets the 12-15, and I get the 16- 18 years old. And that doesn’t bother me at all.