It's now day seven that we have been down here in Florida. And
we're addicted to it we don't want to leave. I'm sitting outside
on the swing while daddy is in the kitchen talking to Karen,
Blake's mom and my soon to be step-mom I think. My phone rings
and I look at caller ID and roll my eyes "hello mother." I said
auto-response with my auto-tone. "How are you sweetie? Where is
Erica? I need to talk to you two together." "I'm fine she's in
the pool, okay I will go get her." I said I put the phone down
and yelled "Erica momma is on the phone!" she came running and we
put on speaker phone.
"We're both here mom." I said and I could hear her laughing at
someone in the background "MOTHER!" I screamed and she realizes
who she was on the phone with. "Your father wants custody of
ya'll." She said matter of factly. "Yeah and we want to live with
him." I said "Well only because you're in love with whatever that
boy name is. But you can't live with him I need you girls here."
She said Erica started to cry "I HATE YOU!" she screamed and
stormed off "Erica baby?" she asked "she's gone mom." I said
getting upset myself. "The only way you will live with your
father is if you end up pregnant." Momma said and that thought
flashed in my head too "Oh okay mom. Well since you ruined the
mood I'm getting off. But remember at least while we're with him
we're not getting killed like Robbie did when he lived with you."
I said "NICOLE HOPE! It was your fault! Not MINE but YOURS!" she
said and that stung "Good-bye Mother." I said hanging up on her.
I broke down and started crying out in the middle of the yard. I
hear somebody coming but I have my legs brought up to my chest
and my face is on it where nobody can see me crying. "Colie, baby
are you okay?" A male voice asked and I knew that it was Blake.
"No my mom won't give custody to us to my dad and the only way
I'm allowed to live down here is if I get pregnant. And she said
it's my fault for Robbie's death." He hugged me tight and let me
cry a little while longer. "Blake I'm not normally this
emotional." I said and he nodded and kissed my lips softly. Daddy
knew about what happened so he called mom and came out "Colie we
need to talk." He said I looked at him and Blake. "Blake your mom
wants you home you three are going to Jacksonville for a couple
of hours." He said and Blake nodded "I will text you later
Colie." Blake said I smiled at him and looked at daddy. "You have
two options." He said and I looked at him weird "fake being
pregnant or get pregnant and I don't want you to give your life
away so fake being pregnant." Daddy said and I smiled at him.
It's July 13th now and I'm at the beach with Erica and daddy and
Savannah and Blake and Amber. Us girls are tanning while daddy,
Blake, and Karen are swimming in the water. Two more days and
it's Robbie's birthday the same day Courtney died. So we wont see
each other then we will be sad and depressed or I know I will be
anyways I mean he was my big brother. We would have so much fun
when momma left for work and Erica was in school because our
middle school let our early. I was a 6th grader he was an 8th
*flashbacks to that one day*
"Okay Coke-a-cola! We're gonna do a big huge dessert thingy
because I'm starved and I know you are too." Mom and dad was
still married to the last year that was. "Get ice cream,
brownies, fudge, whip cream, cherries, sprinkles, and
marshmallow, anything else?" he asked I shook my head and we made
the huge bowl of ice cream and we're sitting on the couch
watching The Simpsons together "Robbie this is amazing!" I would
say because we did this every time we got out early "I'm glad
it's amazing because it's made of love." He said and I would
smile at him.
When I got my first boyfriend at 13 he threaten him that if he
hurt me he would beat him up. Five months of going out he cheated
on me I found out I got hurt and he lied about it but broke up
with me anyways. That afternoon Robbie saw me crying and he went
over to my ex's house and beat him up. Robbie would get in fights
for me and Erica any day if he had to.
When daddy and momma got a divorced Erica and I were a wreck.
Wanna know who saved us? Robbie did he would try his best to
cheer us up and it worked every time here it what he would tell
us "think of it this way more gifts on Holidays more love, more
special bonding them, double the allowance. This is the best
thing that has happened to us." He would joke around and say. Him
and I were really close we would do our normal brotherly and
sisterly fights but we would make up within minutes and go back
at it the next day. My world shattered into million of pieces
when Robbie died and I'm just now starting to pick up the pieces
from it all. I can't turn to him anymore. Blake and I are faking
the pregnancy and he's aware that we're going to and he doesn't
mind. I mean daddy is still trying to get custody but if it
doesn't work then I have this as my back up plan. Poor Erica will
die if I get to stay and she doesn't, that will suck.
"Mom I'm not going back up there." I said for the millionth time
it's July 14th the day before his birthday. "Nicole yes you are."
She said "Mother no I'm not. I like it down here. Daddy doesn't
go off on nights or days and not come back for hours. I mean he
does but it's to work and we know that. He doesn't bring
different women home every night. He's better for us." I said
"Nicole Hope you didn't even want to go down there." She said
"Well I'm glad I did and I don't want to go back up there." I
said "You can't make me." I said "Nicole Hope Summerland yes I
can I will if I have to." She said "NO you won't. You would enjoy
it too much where your men can come as they please!" I said
getting mad at her now. "Nicole no more discussion about this.
You will be home on the 18th next month if you like it or not."
She said "NO I won't." I said I saw Blake approach. "Yes you will
Nicole I mean it." "Well about time you mean something." I said
"Nicole Hope." She said "Good-bye." I said hanging up and looking
at Blake. "Trouble at home." I said and he nodded "I understand
but you might have to go up there again." He said I nodded not
wanting to admit this because I know it will suck if I do.
The day went by in a blur and now I'm waking up for the day. I
found my black short shorts, my black panties and bra set and
black A&F cami and my black R.I.P R.A.S in the front and a
picture of Robbie & me not long before he died we were on the
hood of his car smiling at the camera. On the back has written on
it: Robbie Austin Summerland 7-15-1992 until 8-31-2009 and a
picture of me, him, and Erica. I had my hair braided into two the
way he loved it because it still showed him that I was still his
little sister. I had two black ribbons dangling down with the
Carolina Blue color on it because that's his favorite color. I
had my UNC hat on actually its Robbie's old hat but still. My
make up wad done lightly but my eyeliner made me look emo and the
fact that I'm wearing all black. Momma has a rule no cutting your
hair. Robbie would always joke and say "I wonder what you would
look like with your hair down to your shoulders." He said I would
smile and laugh and would always say "one day we will know. I
will cut it short so you could see me with it." He would hug me
tight and smile at that. My hair is down to my knees because
that's as long as mom will let me keep it when it grows past the
knees she cuts it. I think I'm going to get my hair cut. I looked
at Erica who was wearing the same shirt but with her pink short
shorts "Want to get your hair cut?" I asked her and she smiled
"momma will be mad." She said "So? She wont let us live with
daddy so we're getting even." I said to her.
Daddy was making Robbie's favorite breakfast meal and smiled when
he saw us. "We're going to the mall today." I said he nodded and
saw Erica had her hair like I do "you aren't thinking of cutting
it are you?" He asked and I smiled "Nicole." He said using Nicole
instead of Colie. "Daddy please?" I asked "I have no clue what
you're talking about." He said winking and I smiled at him.
"Blake and Savannah might wanna go." He said I smiled and called
them "Wanna go to the mall?" I asked "sure!" she said Blake said
Daddy and Karen and us are on the way to Tampa now so we could go
to the mall with Hollister and everything in it. "So your dad
tells me you are getting your hair cut?" Karen asked me "Yes
ma'am." I said "how short Colie?" Karen asked me "to my
shoulders." I said and daddy's mouth dropped wide open and I
giggled. Blake squeezed my hand. I quickly updated all of my
status on my websites: Going to the mall : ) loving
Florida! Anyways Happy Birthday Robbie! I miss you big
We walked into the hair salon and one person smiled at us because
our hair is past our knees right now. "Two beautiful girls with
long beautiful wavy strawberry blonde hair." He said and I smiled
"who wants to go first?" the guy asked me I looked at Erica "it
was your idea you do it." she said and I smiled "I will sir." I
said "you're not from around here are you?" he asked me "No sir.
North Carolina." I said and he smiled "I'm from there too."
"Would you like it dyed or cut or both?" he asked me I looked at
daddy "it's up to you." He said "How about dyed brown and cut to
my shoulders." I said and he had a look of shock. "Such beautiful
hair. Are you sure?" he asked me "yes sir I'm sure." I said and
he did as he was told. My head felt a million times lighter. I
looked in the mirror and smiled and a voice came in my head "I
told you that you would look sexy, but you could have kept the
blonde you know." I rolled my eyes and Erica got hers cut to the
boobs with layers in it. She got it dyed brown too.
We caught up with Blake and them and Blake jaw about hit the
floor. "Colie you're beautiful." He said commenting on my hair
cut. He squeezed my hand and we walked along the mall I saw guys
turn their heads to look at me but realized I was with Blake. I'm
with Blake in front of the Mall sign and daddy takes a picture of
it and then Erica and I got in front of it and daddy took a
picture. Blake and I got home and took some more pictures and
even a tongue in mouth kissing picture. We uploaded them on
facebook, myspace, myyearbook, he smiled at me when we got done.
"Your mom will flip." Ah crap!