In the movies the morning after you’ve had sex is usually awkward. The girl is drunk and doesn’t remember anything. I was almost expecting that reaction; almost.
The sun shone through the bedroom window causing my eyes to adjust to the unwanted light. I sighed and rolled over. I was very aware of Jayson next to me in his boxers and me in his tee shirt; but that didn’t stop me from being tired.
The clock read 12:07 p.m.
“You awake?” a soft, hesitant voice asked.
I turned around to face him, “Yeah,” I answered, even though, he obviously knew I was.
His hand stroked my hair as I laid there. Without warning, a tear ran down my face.
“Hey, it’s okay Lauren. It’s okay.”
I was silent for a moment, then asked, “Was I your first?”
He didn’t hesitate to answer, “Of course you were,”
That made me feel a bit better.
After a moment of silence he said, “So, Soph came in here at three this morning and I asked if I could stay with you. She said it was fine and so I did. I didn’t tell her anything that happened. I said you were tired and drunk and we fell asleep up here; I figured you could tell her what you wanted. I wanted to stay here till you woke up, and I did, and I’d love to stay longer but my little brother has a basketball game.” He looked apologetically at me.
I kissed his cheek and said, “Thanks,”
He got up and put his clothes on, I handed him his shirt and he thanked me for it.
I was expecting everything to be a lot more awkward, but this was kind of nice. As he walked out the door I said, “Jayson, I love you.”
“I love you too Lauren.” He said, and with that he was gone.
I laid there and thought about it; maybe we could still be friends, maybe we could be more than friends. I loved him; I knew that.
I showered and went downstairs to see Sophia. I knew she’d have lots of questions, but I had to stop at the bottom of the stairs and think for a minute.
I didn’t regret what I did with Jayson, but I did have a fear of him leaving. I mean, where we ‘dating’ now? I didn’t know. Would this affect our friendship? Did he really love me?
I felt extremely emotional and couldn’t keep my thoughts straight. Finally, in exasperation, I walked into the kitchen.
“Nice to see you early bird,” Sophia said from the counter, where she popped a pop-tart.
“I’ll take one too,” I said, pouring myself a glass of orange juice.
She set the pop-tarts on the table and said, “So, what did you and Jayson do last night?”
“Didn’t he tell you? I felt bad so he brought me upstairs; we fell asleep,”
She looked skeptically at me, I was an awful liar and the only reason I had even attempted keeping the truth from her was that I was telling myself that I was just leaving a small detail out.
“Okay,” Soph said, dropping the subject. It was one thing I loved about her, she wouldn’t push details. She wasn’t nae and stupid, she suspected that Jayson and I had done more than sleep, but if I didn’t want to tell her, she didn’t really care.
After cleaning her house and disposing of all the leftover party supplies; my mom came by to pick me up.
I thanked Sophia for the awesome time and went to our car.
“Hey sweetie, how was your sleepover?” mom asked.
“Lovely,” I said, smiling.
The car ride was somehow awkward, because I knew that I couldn’t tell mom this, I just couldn’t.
Emi was in the backseat playing quietly with her dolls. I turned my attention to her and mom left me alone the rest of the ride to the grocery store.
Emi and I walked hand in hand through the grocery store items behind mom. She was a serious shopper and went around whipping things into the cart like there was no tomorrow.
Emi was holding her Barbie doll in one hand and was swinging my arm with the other.
We passed the frozen food aisle and I stopped to look down it.
There was a young girl with a baby, a family with three children, a pregnant mom, a set of grandparents and their two year old grandson, and Emi, running uncontrollably to the waffles with her Barbie flying beside her.
That was something I had not considered until now.
What if I was pregnant?
The thought made me sick to my stomach and I threw up all over the clear glass door that could slide open to reveal an assortment of frozen pizzas.