When I woke up my head was spinning and I recognized my pale yellow bedroom immediately. I lazily rolled over to my side and was startled by my mom’s presence in my desk chair.
“Mom! What are you doing?” I sputtered, still in shock.
Mom look worried, “Honey, you passed out at the grocery store. Are you alright?”
“Sure,” I said as I forced myself to remember my fear of being pregnant.
I tried to reason with myself as she left to get my chicken noodle soup. It had only been a day; I wouldn’t really know if I was pregnant for another week, when I was supposed to get my period. Also, maybe Jayson used protection…maybe.
I was thankful Bella and Mason were still on their honeymoon; Bella would know something was wrong the minute she saw me, that was something I wasn’t looking forward to; at all.
I got to stay home sick that day and while mom went off to run her usually errands; PTA, library, grocery store…again, and take Emi to a piano lesson, I had time to think. As much as I wasn’t looking forward to telling anyone about this; I knew Bella would have to know. She’d know what to do and I trusted her more than anyone. I took out my sketch pad and drew. It was something I did when I was worried. I was an awful artist though so no one really knew about my sketch pad. I drew for what felt like hours and finally I ended up with a decent drawing.
I turned on my desk light to study it closer; it was of a soccer field. The field was empty and it was early morning, there was dew on the ground and a soccer ball off to the side.
I sighed and stuffed the picture under my bed; then I lay on my back and stared up at my ceiling. I had these stupid little glow in the dark stars that, in daylight, looked like a puke green colour. In frustration I stood on my bed and jumped up to take them down one at a time. I threw them all in my little trash can and cursed under my breath.
I was a kid; I had glow in the dark stars on my ceiling. I couldn’t raise a kid, I couldn’t. Damn, I was so stupid…so stupid.
I was interrupted from my thoughts by the phone ringing. I absentmindedly picked it up and was surprised to hear Jayson’s voice on the other end.
“Yeah?” I answered, my heart beating faster at his low voice which seemed a bit nervous.
He coughed, “I was wondering if you’re alright, you didn’t come to school today and…I,”
I cut him off, “I’m fine Jayson, I think. Can you come over though, just for a minute? No one’s home, I just need to talk to you.”
I was expecting an excuse, I’m not sure why, but I was, instead I heard him say, “Of course, I’m on my way.”