Your Heartbeat

 

As I drove down the interstate; not daring to look back for fear of turning around, I listened intently to the silence. It disturbed me. Even when he had been with me; in total silence it didn’t feel like this. This was an empty, eerie kind of silence. The kind you get when you know something’s not right. I turned the radio on and tried to get into the upbeat hip-hop song that I actually used to like. Still, my little green Mustang felt empty. Frustrated, I turned the radio off and took a deep breath to steady myself. I wouldn’t lose it, I wouldn’t cry. But then, I was pulling over and leaning my head against the steering wheel. Sobs came, heavy and loud as I cried. My head was pounding and my nose was running. Still, the tears wouldn’t stop, because, in that moment, I realized why the silence wasn’t welcome: it was missing his heartbeat.