My anger began to wear off as I went home. Now I was left with emptiness, it was nagging at my soul and I felt awful. I walked into my house and collapsed onto my bed.
I wasn’t tired, I found. I lay there and looked up at my ceiling. I had slept for four days though, no wonder I wasn’t tired. Mom and dad were downstairs; I could hear their murmured voices drifting towards me. Emi was not home as far as I knew; I briefly wondered where she was.
I stayed in bed for two days straight. I did absolutely nothing. I stared at the ceiling and was thankful I was a senior and school was out for me. Mom came up once with food but it lay there, untouched and old, after a day and a half.
I woke up on the second day of my room confinement and opened the blinds. It was a gray, cloudless day, and it was drizzling lightly. I saw my green little car parked in the driveway and decided to take a drive. I hopped in and immediately went dizzy.
This exact spot was where I had witnessed Jayson’s death, from this seat. I shook my head and backed out. I drove around town once and then went back home.
Our town disgusted me, it was small and perfect and no one seemed to be mourning Jayson but me. How could they? How could people get over him? A park bench with his name on it wasn’t remembering him; people would sit on it and never know who Jayson was. It angered me, these days I seemed more emotional than normal.
When I walked inside our house, no one was home. This was typical, mom and dad were out a lot and especially now that I was here, like a zombie. I looked out at our town from our living room window. I couldn’t stay here. I couldn’t do it. Jayson’s memory would haunt me forever. I’d never forget him, but I couldn’t just stay here. No, no, no.
I walked up to my room and glanced at the clock; it was twelve thirty in the afternoon. Mom and dad wouldn’t be here till seven at least. That gave me time. I sat down at my desk and picked up a pen.
Dear mom and dad,
Don’t worry, I am fine. I’m old enough now to do my own thing, and this is what I want. I am leaving, I am safe, I am alright. I’ll get in touch with you sometime; I always know where to find you. Please don’t come looking for me, you won’t find me. Don’t worry yourselves either, it’ll all be okay.
I sighed heavily; it was short and to the point. Now they’d know I was safe at least. I wasn’t planning on keeping in touch with them really, but I knew it would be easier on them if they thought that I would.
Next I wrote to Emi:
Hey little sis,
Don’t worry about me, if you even are. Jayson meant the world to me, and now he’s gone. I need space from this town, I’m sure you know the feeling.
Love you lots, Lauren
That one was easy to write, Emi and I weren’t really close. I doubt it would even phase her much that I was gone. This next letter would be the hardest.
My hand was shaking as I picked up the pen a third time, I had to do this. But I was so scared.
Bella and Mason,
I love you two so much. You have helped me through the toughest times. Unfortunately, this time I am on my own. I’m not little anymore; I don’t need to ask for your help. I’ll do this one on my own, but I won’t ever forget you two. Stay amazing. Keep Emi out of trouble.
I love you.
I cried softly as I sealed the three letters in envelopes. I set them gently on my bed knowing they’d get where they needed to be.
Next I took my duffle bag and suitcase and filled them with items. All my lose money, my important papers, photos, memoirs, clothes, toiletries, and my cell phone and charger. I piled all this stuff into the back of my car and got in.
I needed to make three stops before I left town.
The first one would be the easiest.
I stopped at the bank and walked inside. I saw a tall blonde working behind the counter and walked up to it. I didn’t recognize her which was good, hopefully she wouldn’t ask questions.
“I need all my savings drawn out and I need the papers on my car.” I stated.
She blinked and looked up at me, “Alright…your card please?”
I slid her over my bank card and in a matter of minutes I had three thousand dollars in cash sitting in front of me along with a manila envelope of papers labeled “car”.
Even though Mason bought me the car, he turned everything over to me. He said what I did with it was my responsibility. I knew it would be safe to have the papers, just in case.
I felt accomplished as I walked out of the bank and stuffed my money in the glove compartment.