I never believed in true love. In
fact I never believed in love. I thought I knew that I could
never love somebody. I was certain no-body could ever love me,
not my mother, not my father nor my sisters and brother. I had
had a lot of girlfriends. Seven actually. There was Camille,
Laura, Debbie, Cat, Frieda, Stevi, and Bella. I didn't love any
of them, and I never let them love me.
My sisters were always "in love"
but always ended up crying in their beds eating whatever they
could find because they were "heart broken". My brother on the
other hand only ever had one girlfriend, they were together for
about three or four months, but he never got over her. He's still
convinced she'll take him back, although it's been two years and
she's in a relationship with another girl.
My parents say they love each
other. But I don't see how. I don't see how my father could even
think straight after six hours at the pub each night doing god
knows what. I don't see how my mother could love him after he
comes home late each night and smacks her across her face for
even the slightest mistake.
I hated love.
was Saturday. Lunchtime so my stomach told me. My best mate Chris
and I were in town for some reason that I can't think of right
now. We stopped at the Turkish shop and grabbed something to eat.
While I was waiting for Chris to finish his kebab, I saw her. I
did what I swore I'd never do. I fell in love…and at first sight
too! Damn I hated myself for that! After I'd recovered from the
electrical shock her eyes gave me that is. They were the lightest
eyes I had ever seen. They weren't even a colour, a sort of
mixture of blue, green and brown. So hard to describe, but they
stood out against her dark eyelashes and tanned skin. Her hair
was dark, with a fringe that brushed her eyebrows. She was so
unbelievably perfect. I could have stared at her all
done man," Chris exclaimed with a long loud burp. She looked over
at the noise with an amused expression on her face. She didn't
look at me though. "Can we go now…I think I ate too much man, I'm
you Chris, DAMN YOU! I
thought. I couldn't help but gawk at her as we left the shop, she
didn't notice but one very big, tall, gruff man
"Myra!" He called out to her "Myra come here
thought about her while I was driving home. Her eyes had me
hypnotised and I couldn't think straight. Myra, beautiful Myra.
Her face was stuck in my mind, she was smiling, and she was
laughing…then she was crying…dying.
woke up early this morning for work, not early enough though. Pa
was really mad when we didn't get to the shop early enough to
give it a good clean before we opened. He couldn't scream at me
in front of all the others but the look in his eyes made me
shiver to the bone. It was a slow day, and stinking hot too. The
only customers we had in today were a few old ladies and a couple
of boys. One of the boys burped and of course I had to go and
laugh. That sent Pa of his rocket. As soon as they left he took
me home and gave me a good talking too. I'm
No, no, no! We not laughing at customer!" He'd said with his
thick accent…it seemed the longer he stayed in this country and
the longer he spoke English, his accent got worse and worse. "And
no smiling at boys! You are young! No think about boys! No smile,
no talk, no think! You working, you study, you get good job and
look after me when I get old! That is all! Okay?"
course I said okay. I didn't need another bruise to try and cover
up. I didn't need reminding about the whole 'boys' thing either.
It's not like I even had one anyway. No one wanted me. I don't
know whether it was because they were afraid of my father or I'm
too much of a loser, probably the latter.
we got home Pa took my laptop off me, and said the only
television I was to watch was the news, to tell him the whether
forecast and who's in jail and who's dead. Pa sat down with me
and we ate some pizza. It was nice. Just the two of us not
arguing, not fighting, just sitting down and watching the
still thinking this when he suddenly shouted, "Ohh wow! Listen
Myra! It's those boys who were staring at you today. They're
fixed my attention on the news lady. They weren't dead. The one
who had burped was alright, the other in a coma. On their way
home the driver had smashed into a tree.
were so young, older than me but still young. It made me stop and
think though. Things like this could happen to anyone. Things
like this could happen to me. What if I died? My life would have
been pointless, I'd done nothing in my whole life but go to
school, make pizza and kebabs and look after my father. I had to
get out of this place!