A/N: This chapter has some adult content...okay, you've been warned :)
Laila glanced up from her book to stare at her boyfriend. He was sitting at his computer, his glasses high on his nose, his lips curled in concentration as he hunched over the keyboard.
"Stop staring," he said, surprising her then flashing a quick smile.
"I can't help it," Laila said with a grin. "You look so handsome in your glasses."
Sterling smiled again and pushed his chair away from his desk. "What are you reading now?"
Laila sighed and set her book down, examining the cover with a certain distain. "The Professor by Charlotte Bronte."
"Not your favorite?" Sterling pulled off his glasses and rubbed his eyes, sick from the glow of his computer screen.
"Hardly," he heard Laila say as she stood up and walked across the room to him. He kept his eyes closed, reprimanding himself for not taking a break earlier, and soon felt Laila's soft lips kissing his lids.
"You look tired," she said quietly as she situated herself on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck.
Sterling pulled her close and sighed as he felt her head relax against his shoulder. "This first month has been a lot harder than I thought it was going to be."
He felt Laila nod her head but he knew she didn't understand his full meaning. For nearly four weeks now, Sterling had been fighting against his head, a never ending battle of pride and better judgment. It had started after the first day of school when he had met Laila outside of her dorm room. She had been walking with an older guy, clearly uninterested in whatever he was saying to her. Sterling wouldn't have given it a second thought had he not seen the look on the man's face as Laila walked away.
Sterling was hoping, after that first day, it was just a random encounter, that this person was just someone Laila had bumped into on the walk back to her dorm. But a few days later, there he was once more. Laila was showing no interest again, but this man had been vehemently trying to hold her attention, touching her elbow, gesturing fanatically in front of her. Sterling hadn't felt threatened at that point, merely annoyed. He knew Laila would never cheat on him, knew she would always be his. But he also knew she was still innocent, unable to read or pick up the signals she was giving or receiving.
By the end of the second week, Sterling had noticed a clear pattern developing. This man, Will was his name according to Laila, would wait with her outside of class or walk her back to her dorm room, staying close by her side, even after she had already seen Sterling in the distance. But he always backed away once Sterling was near, never approached if Laila ran to his arms. The more Sterling saw of this person, the more he detested him. His eyes were always on her with a strange look of possessiveness that had, on more than one occasion, nearly pushed Sterling over the edge.
He had asked about him only once, merely inquiring who he was. Laila had shrugged her shoulders, informing him that Will was her student teacher and more passionate about literature than anyone she had ever met. She hadn't seem impressed which made Sterling smile. But even though he was sure of Laila's loyalty, he didn't trust Will. However, mentioning this to Laila was out of the question. His jealousy and insecurity had come between then once and he would never let that happen again.
Sterling smiled as he felt Laila's lips on his neck then lightly nibbling his earlobe. "Do you want to take a break?"
Sterling could only moan in response as Laila shifted in his lap and rubbed herself against him. She laughed softly and kissed him on the lips. Sterling hadn't quite been himself lately. She knew he was worried about something, though what it was, she couldn't quite figure out. He had been almost possessive of her lately, always asking where she was going, who she was with, what she was doing. His texts and calls were almost nonstop during the days they didn't spend together. But when they were together, things were the same as they had always been. He was kind and gentle with her, quick to make her laugh and always eager to please her. Laila assumed he was simply adjusting to college life, nervous about making new friends, nervous about their relationship changing, drifting apart.
That would never happen, Laila knew. She couldn't, she wouldn't lose Sterling for anything and as their kiss intensified, she knew he felt the same way. His hand moved from her hip up to her rib and his fingers dug into her back as he pulled her closer. Laila smiled against his lips, she could always tell how badly he wanted her. But tonight seemed different. Sterling's kiss had a certain ferocity to it that Laila wasn't accustomed to. His touch was demanding. She felt his fingers climbing up her back and then roughly pulling her hair as his lips tried to gain access to her neck.
"Ouch," Laila tried to laugh it off as she took her hands away from Sterling's face and pushed her long blonde hair over her shoulder and out of his grasp.
But Sterling wasn't laughing with her. His face was serious. "You love me, don't you?"
"Sterling, of course I do," Laila answered, wondering what had inspired that question.
"And you'll never leave me?"
"Where are these questions coming from?"
"Just answer me, please?"
"I will never leave you," Laila promised. "But you already knew that."
Finally Sterling smiled. "I did. I just wanted to hear you say it."
Laila shook her head and smiled at him. She was about to tell him how ridiculous he was being but he kissed her again before he had the chance. None too carefully, he lifted her from the chair and walked her back to the couch, holding her tightly as he fell on top of her.
Sterling believed Laila when she had told him she would never leave him. But he couldn't push from his mind the image of Will's face as he looked at Laila. His Laila. She would always be his and he would make sure of it. Quickly, Sterling pulled his t-shirt over his head and returned his lips to hers, kissing her with as much passion as he could find. Laila kissed him back and he could feel her hands slowly running through his hair and down his back. Soon his hands were roaming up her legs, finding her panties beneath her skirt and pulling them down.
"Sterling," he heard her mumble against his lips. He knew she wanted him to slow down but something had taken control of him and he couldn't stop himself. His jeans and boxers were around his ankles seconds later and he was pulling her knees apart so he could position himself between her legs. He could feel her moan against his lips as he pressed against her, her body finally granting him access.
Their position on the couch was awkward, Laila's back was on the arm rest, one leg dangling off the side, the other smashed between her boyfriend and the cushions. He had never taken her like this before, so forcefully and suddenly. But he was acting as if he needed it, as if he was an addict craving a fix. She held on to him as he moved above her, afraid she might fly off the couch if she didn't. Sterling's rough and erratic movements weren't pleasurable at all for Laila as he gripped her hip and her shoulder, slamming himself against her. Then suddenly he hit something inside of her that caused her to gasp from the pain.
"Sterling, stop," she pleaded. "You're hurting me."
Her words hit him like a freight train. Immediately Sterling's body froze above Laila's, neither moving as he watched her eyes open and her face relax. But then she smiled as if it had only been a small inconvenience.
"Just let me get repositioned," she started to say as she tried to push them down the couch so she could lie down underneath him. Sterling watched as his girlfriend wiggled against him, her tank top riding up her stomach, her skirt pushed around her thighs. It shouldn't be like this.
"Shit, Laila, I'm so sorry."
She looked at him with confusion in her eyes. "What? What are you sorry for?"
"It shouldn't be like this," he said, lowering his head and kissing her lips as he pulled out of her.
"No, it's fine," she insisted, holding his body close to hers to keep him from pulling away.
But Sterling shook his head and broke free of her arms, pushing away and sitting on the couch by her feet. He watched as her toes curled away from him, afraid to touch his skin. A pang of regret hit his stomach and he didn't know what to say.
"Is it me?" Her voice was shaking and he could tell she was scared.
"No," he said quickly as he reached for her, catching her by the knee and swinging her legs into his lap. "It's not you. I just got carried away and I didn't mean to hurt you."
"If it's not me then why…"
Sterling smiled at his girlfriend. "Do you remember when I told you that we would only make love?"
Laila nodded, her face staying solemn.
"That's not what we were doing. You weren't going to enjoy it and I started it for all the wrong reasons."
"Why did you start it?"
Sterling ran his fingers through his hair. How could he explain it to her without completely freaking her out? How could he explain that he had started making love to her just to prove that she belonged to him? She wouldn't understand. She would be hurt that he felt the need to prove anything.
"I don't know. I'm sorry," he said again. "I know I'm not making any sense. I'm just stressed out I guess."
Laila must have believed his answer because she smiled and sat up so she could kiss him. "There's nothing wrong with releasing a little stress."
Sterling smiled against her lips and then trembled as he felt her hand moving across his still naked leg. Slowly, her fingers wrapped around him and he had to close his eyes. He could feel Laila kissing his neck and his chest, making her way south as she moved to the floor and positioned herself between his legs.
"Beautiful, you don't have to…"
"Sshhh," Laila looked up at him with a coy smile. "I'm just helping you relax."
Sterling only felt guilty for the two seconds it took for Laila's gorgeous mouth to surround him. She rarely did this, having admitted to Sterling she was afraid she lacked the necessary skills to perform the job to his satisfaction. But that wasn't true. She knew Sterling so well, maybe instinctively, maybe subconsciously, but she always left him trembling and nearly forgetting his own name.
Sterling ran his fingers through her hair, loving the way she looked when she was doing this. He smiled down and then trembled as she worked her magic. He didn't have anything to worry about. Laila loved him, she would do anything for him and he felt the exact same way.