“Where do you think you’re going?” asked Jack when he saw me come out of my room.

“Church with Carlos,” I answered putting my black with gray stripe sweater on. He lifted his eyebrows, “Church?”

I nodded and was about to head out the door when he blocked my path.

“You’re not going anywhere,” he said with a mad look on his face.

“What?” I asked.

“I don’t want you seeing Carlos anymore.”

“But he’s my friend.”

“I don’t care if he’s your friend!” exclaimed Jack. “ I don’t want to see you with any boy. Ya’ here me?”

“Your not my father!”

Jack raised his right hand behind his head and swung it punching me on the side of my head. I fell to the ground. He got a hold of my arm and pulled me up with great force. I wanted to cry when I felt the pain in my arm. He then threw me hard against the wall and I blacked out for only second. When I opened my eyes I saw him coming straight towards me. He grabbed my neck with both hands and pinned me against the wall.

“God caused everything in the world to happen,” Jack whispered in my ear. “And if bad things are happening to you…its because you’re a bad person who deserves it.”

He then grabbed me by my cheek and kissed me. I tried turning my head away but he had me pinned to the wall, which was hard for me to stop him from kissing me. When I felt his tongue in my mouth I bit it as hard as I could making him jolt back. When I tried running he grabbed me by the hood of my sweater and threw me on the ground. I hit the floor with a thud, which knocked most of the wind out of me.

“Get up!” Jack bellowed. When I didn’t respond fast enough he reached me up by my neck and pulled me up. I fought back tears and struggled to my feet. Still holding my neck he dragged me to my room, where he threw me on the floor and slammed the door behind him. Still on the floor I couldn’t stop the tears from falling. As I sobbed I covered my face.

“If there was a God there wouldn’t be so many problems in the world…God caused everything in the world to happen…And if bad things are happening to you…its because your bad person who deserves it…you’re a bad person who deserves it…who deserves it…you’re a bad person…a bad person,” these words kept flying through my head. I covered my ears wanting the noise in my head to stop. It just kept repeating itself in my head.

I looked around my room. “I have to get out of here,” I thought to myself. Standing up I grabbed my backpack and swung it over my shoulders. Then I opened the door a little and peeked out. I saw Jack heading to the bathroom. This is my chance. My chance to escape this hellhole. Opening the door wider I turned to look at my mom. She was watching TV.

I can’t believe this. She knew what Jack was doing to me and she did nothing. I gritted my teeth in anger and headed towards the door. Hearing a door slam I pun around startled to see Jack coming towards me.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?!” ranted Jack. I wanted to open the door and run but fear kept me still. Not waiting for a response he grabbed the back of my hair and pulled back. Pulling me back forward I lost my balance and flew to the floor, landing on my stomach, and hitting my lip on the hardwood floor. I turned around slowly onto my back and looked up at Jack with tears rolling down my cheek. I got up and wiped the blood from my lip and tears from my eyes. Angrily I yelled, “I’m through with your ***! I’ve had enough! This is the last time you’ll ever hit me! The last time!”

With that I ran out of the house not looking back to see if he was chasing me. I was running and crying at the same time. I didn’t know where I was going but I kept on running like I was in a track race. When I got to the park I turned the corner too quick. I saw a guy come towards me. I tried to stop but I was running so fast that I collided with him and we both fell on our backs. The guy got up and I saw that it was Josh. When he saw how I looked he helped me up and asked,” Oh my God, Maddy. Are you alright? What happened to you?”

I quickly wiped my tears and replied, “I-I’m fine. I just got into a fight.”

“With who?” he asked putting his arms around me. I shook my head. “Just some girl. Never mind it. I’m here aren’t I?”

“I knew you were gonna come,” he nodded. “So I waited a little longer.”

I gave Josh a fake smile not knowing what to say.

“Come to my house. I have a first aid kit and alcohol for that cut,” he said. I nodded and we both walked to his house. There I sat down in his sofa while he cleaned my cut with alcohol. He leaned close to my head and blew on the cut on my forehead. Then he held my head and kissed it. While putting the band aid on me I asked, “Can I borrow your phone?”

”Sure, why?” he asked.

“I just want to call Carlos and tell him I can’t go to church with him today,” I replied.

“I’ll call him later. I’m sure he left already,” Josh said. “I’ll even tell him that we’ll go next Friday.”

“You’d do that?” I asked. He nodded and said, “Anything for my baby.”

He put his arms around me and kissed me on the cheek. “Thank you,” I told him putting my head his shoulders. I wanted to ask him if I could stay for the night but I was afraid of what he would say. So after a few talks and drinks I left and went to park.

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October 2nd, 2008-2:37 P.M.

I’m sorry I haven’t written. I just didn’t know what to write. It’s been 2 weeks since I’ve been living in the streets. I’m dirty and have a really bad body odor. And I think because of that is the reason why Josh doesn’t want to be near me. Maybe I should’ve asked him for help. I wanted to ask Josh or Carlos but I was afraid that that’ll call the cops and contact social services. I don’t wanna end up in a foster home. But then again I don’t wanna street anymore.

I miss my mom. I want to check on her but I’m afraid of facing Jack again. I don’t know what to do anymore. Everyone in school doesn’t want to me near me because of how bad I stink. Samantha, Brianna, and Darcy’s taunting as gotten worse. They spread rumors about me and tell everyone that I was born in a dumpster. And everyday after school they jump me for the fun of it because they know I can't defend myself.

Carlos is the only one who’s being a good friend. Everyday he talks to me more about God. He tells me that if I have any problems that I could pray and that God will always listen. I wonder if he hears me cry at night. I pray to him at night wishing that he could help me make it through. But I feel like he’s not listening. I try to go to church with Carlos but Josh always tells me it’s a waste of time. I want to go to church but something keeps holding me back. So, I go out with Josh instead. I still feel like he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. He should at least tell me instead of ignoring me.

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October 3rd, 2008-4:07 P.M.

I can’t believe this. He’s been cheating on me. He’s been going out with three girls at the same time. Me, Georgia, and Hailey. I didn’t cry when I saw him kissing Hailey. He didn’t think I’d find out. But I did. After school I found him in the back of the school kissing Hailey. I was so pissed off at him that I flung a rock at his head. When he saw me he tried to apologize but I pushed him away. I told him we were through which I know he wanted. When I turned around he pushed me from behind. Georgia who saw the whole thing came running towards Josh and punched him on the face making him fall back. Then Hailey stuck her nose in and started arguing with Georgia until they got into a big fight. Joshua tried to stop the fight by getting in between but that just lead for another punch in his face by Georgia who eventually won the fight. Then Georgia and I walked to her house.

On the way to her house she asked me if I was ok. All I did was nod. Then when we got to her house I saw that her life was a lot like mine except for the beating part. Her mother had died of drug overdosed and she lived with her alcoholic dad who was passed out in the couch. She gave me a honey bun and when I shook my head she brought me to her room and showed me a trunk filled with honey buns. So nodded and she gave me three.

We then sat down in her bed and that’s when I told her about Jack. She told me that I should call the cops but I told her that if I did he was just gonna get worse when he was released. When I was about to leave she told me to at least go check if my mom was ok. And that’s exactly what I’m gonna do.