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This is a story about a girl named Kandi who has found true love, and then she loses it all when she is kidnapped and forced to be a pleasure slave to a man she has never met. View table of contents...
Submitted: Apr 27, 2008 Reads: 3002 Comments: 26 Likes: 11
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wow, this is so intense, it's SOOO good!!! It's amazing!!! i can't wait till you post more!! hehe!! :)
Posted: Apr 27, 2008
amazing so far! cant wait for the next post!
Posted: Apr 27, 2008
good thing is i read that entire thing on the-n!
SHAZZZIIZZ! lolz that sounds funny... tori say it out loud like five times roflcopter
Posted: Apr 27, 2008
Whoa! So many emotions...great job! ^>^
Posted: Apr 30, 2008
oh wow. i loved it!
Posted: May 9, 2008
is the main character's name Tori or Kandi?
at one place when Damon proposes her, he says "Tori"
So far it's intense. I am going to complete this in one sitting....
Posted: May 9, 2008
This is interesting but I'm finding the back story really hard to believe. Maybe American law is different, but unless Kandi/ Tori was 18 she cannot inherit anything, nor can she legally own property. Someone would have to be her guardian. Maybe if the guardian, for some unknown reason, allowed Kandi/ Tori to live on her own, then it's possible.
It's an interesting story and I'm going to continue reading. ;)
Posted: May 11, 2008
I LOVE the story so far! It is amazing!
However, I do have some helpful critisizm for you if you are willing to listen.
The beginning seems to happen too quickly. You haven't really intruduced us to the characters and it seems more like you are just telling us the story rather than letting us see/ live it. You need to make us care more. For example, I understand that Kandi and Damon love each other profusely but the proposal seems too abrupt and feels as if it came out of left field.
Again I absolutly love the plot so far but I believe it could be even better with some fleshing out.
Right, now I HAVE to keep reading or I think I will go insane!
Good job!!!!!
Posted: May 12, 2008
Thats amazing I LOVE IT!
Posted: May 16, 2008
I love it it is soooo cool
Posted: May 17, 2008
I liked it ^^
I'm almost completely hooked. On to read the next chapter =)
~mandy
Posted: May 22, 2008
I loved it so far.
Sounds very promising.
Posted: May 25, 2008
WOW 5the story is so cool i wish there was more to read. if a completely finished copy ever got published i would buy it.
Posted: May 26, 2008
baha.
i'm glad i read it on the-n too.
:]
Posted: May 26, 2008
First of all, I love the idea! Sounds really interesting! but like Threwen Greenleaf said, everything happens too quickly. Put some more detail in and help us get into the mind of the character. All I know about her is her name. You get what I'm saying. otherwise its a really great novel and I cant wait to read the rest.
Posted: May 28, 2008
This was really good. I like it when she had that dream and then it actually happened to her. I really liked the part where damon asked Tori to marry him that was cute and passionate at the same time. Try and describe the cottage more though and maybe a little more about why matt got kicked out of his parents house. I also agree with Threwen Greenleaf that in the beginning it went too fast, and should let us read it as though we are actually there or living it. Also try and make the scene or scene's with the two kidnapper's more intense. But overall this is a really good story. Ok i'm off to read thr next chapter.
Posted: May 31, 2008
Pretty cool! Awesome!
Posted: Jun 1, 2008
I'M SO SORRY!!!! ALL THE BOOKSIE CREW COMMENTS BELONG TO ME!!!! I NEVER LOGGED OUT. SILLY ME.
Posted: Jun 2, 2008
This was good. It moved a little fast in the beginning and I would like to know her age. Would make more sense if she was 18. A little more back story on the characters but I imagine more will come in the next chapter
Posted: Jun 3, 2008
your probz like well tired of hearin this now but its well good. I cant wait to read on. totaly luvin that theyre emo lol.
check out sum of my stuff if yew got sum spare time but hurry up writing thaa next chapter i cant wait.X
Sophie
Posted: Jun 8, 2008
hey this story is awesome. I love it so far :) keep up the good work :)
Posted: Jun 9, 2008
Hm, sounds good so far...if I had more time I would read some more. I will have to read this some more.
It sounds really good!!!
Could you check out my stories and comment please? thanks.
Posted: Jul 15, 2008
DUDE that is so sad...she just got engaged. =( wat happens to Matt?? Poor Damien
Posted: Jul 17, 2008
So far so good. Another great story Tori. Great work. I love it so far!
Posted: Jul 20, 2008
You always seem to makes the people look good. lol.
What are these guys? mindless zombies? "master this master that." lordy.
Posted: Aug 10, 2008
Ohmigosh. :) scary! This chapter was a lot longer than your usual chapter length. yay!
I'm excited for the next part.
Dani,
Posted: Aug 11, 2008
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Other writing by XxEmoHeartxX My Almost Happy Ending Raining Sadness To My Dearest Love 3 Days With Him That's Why I Love You More..
Love, Poetry, Death, Life, Poem, Romance, Pain, Fantasy, Hope, Sad, Sex, Hate, God, Horror, War, Humor, Hurt, Sadness, Loss, Dark, Fiction, Depression, Heart, Family, Friendship.