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A rape story View table of contents...
Submitted: Jul 13, 2008 Reads: 193 Comments: 14 Likes: 7
Completely numb,
That's how I feel,
Was that night a dream,
Or was it real,
You were too strong for me,
I could only scream and cry,
But no one could hear me,
So I listened to my heartbeat die
You were taking my innocence,
But you didn't listen or care,
You kept going,
As if I'd asked to be there,
You gave me the darkest storm I've ever seen,
You took my light away,
And it hurts even worse,
To think that this storm is here to stay.
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Powerful, very powerful
Posted: Jul 14, 2008
I guess booksie liked his comment so much they posted it 5 times lol.
This poem flows very well. Nicely done.
Keep Writing
Posted: Jul 15, 2008
I had to help someone through that storm when we were only both 12. This world is changing for the worst. I couldnt believe something like this could happen to someone i knew at that age, and i feel more sorry for those in the younger generations... who knows what they have to witness.
A very sensitive topic.There are some lines that really stood out for me;
"You were taking my innocence,
But you didn't listen or care,"
That was very true, the most truest part of the whole experience. I wish i could help those people. Its so sad... and it makes me hate certain types of guys all the more. What really hurts me though... is why are there cases where they get together again?! What could possibly make someone so stupid to go back. Just like the case of domestic violence. If it has already happened it is possible to happen again...
But they need our support, not pity.
Hope this hasnt affected you too much, however you may be connected. Keep going strong, for yourself and for those directly involved.
I havent read something like this in a while Erin. I guess i have been a bit afraid of this topic for some reason. Thanks.
Posted: Jul 16, 2008
hi! erin. from what i can interpret, innocence taken means the subject was raped/molested. and cruelly too. and pain of those few hours is to ever remain with her. this is too damn sensitive and heart-wrenching. lol. ;-)
Posted: Jul 17, 2008
this is awesomely good. it flowed so well too.... and how she was raped so cruelly.... i could hear screaming and crying.....sad, but soooo good!
~Lemon
Posted: Jul 17, 2008
Very erotic. Thank you.
Posted: Jul 21, 2008
this poem took us to the edge . letting us know the horror's of rape , both to mind and body . i do so hope the victims next experience with a man , is a thing of beauty .
terry
Posted: Jul 22, 2008
Hello Erin :)
This poem is the epitome of beauty and I am not saying that lightly. It takes a very secure artist to even touch this type of territory. I applaud you for your beautiful writing and techniques but most of all for your honesty and courage. This is amazing :)
Regan
Posted: Jul 26, 2008
This powerful and moving i like this, it's really good...awesome work!!
xoxo
DOM
Posted: Jul 31, 2008
Wow. Me likes it. lol. You're so awesome. You've improved so much since the last time I really got to read your stuff.
Posted: Jul 31, 2008
Great poem.It hurts to be hurt by the ones you love.I loved this poem.So beautifully written.
Posted: Aug 7, 2008
Erin,
I've read most of you work, and I have to say, you've got a way with words. This poem is particular is moved me very deeply; it's a very sad story and it's beautifully written. In fact, your work has inspired me to write a few poems of my own, one of which I have put on the site. It's called "Day One," and it's an almost direct response to this particular poem. I hope you'll have the time to read it; it's very, very long, and might be a little disturbing (it's from a rapist's point of view), but I hope you'll enjoy it.
Love and Good Wishes,
Mark.
Posted: Aug 12, 2008
Very Great Job. I adored this. Keep up work it might get better and you'll see you have a really good passion for this.. I do believe you do.
-DD
Posted: Aug 18, 2008
excellent and powerful write.
Posted: Aug 18, 2008
© Copyright 2008 Erin All rights reserved. Erin has granted theNextBigWriter, LLC non-exclusive rights to display this work on Booksie.com.
Other writing by Erin A Talk With Jealousy Forget and Remember, Remember and Forget The Dark, Icy Water Don't Forget Me Fighting Darkness More..
Love, Poetry, Death, Life, Poem, Romance, Pain, Fantasy, Hope, Sad, Sex, Hate, God, Horror, War, Humor, Hurt, Sadness, Loss, Dark, Fiction, Depression, Heart, Family, Friendship.
