If your parents pop pills or alcohol abuse
and your only way of expression is to cut yourself or use
or every night you're alone, justto sit and cry
and wonder why
it's not acceptable to cry
when it hurts so bad
you wanna lay down and die
you think
this can't hurt any worse right?
as you sneak to the bathroom and lock the door tight
why does everything have to be so wrong!
why did my dad leave!
why did my friend have to die!
why is that I would do anything just not to care
just not to feel
why it I gotta feel like nothing's ever real
is love real
is friendship real
or is it an illusion
swept away the moment I turn my back
why is I can't be myself
outside I joke around
I can't show you me
but if no one knows me
how can they love me
is love possible
doesn’t everyone deserve to be loved
Don't they!!!
why is it that you just can't cry
you have to sit alone
and just slowly die
To painfully diea thousnaddeaths
just bottle it up
and the pain does the rest
the pain of the memories
the shards of the past
will kill your soul
and it won't die fast
everything’s just gotta be so bad!
my room tilts, my world shakes
my walls melt and cave in around me
I find myself in a black void
where there is nothing
no thoughts
no feelings
no memories
none at all
a black dimension
of simplicity
of lucidity
Surrounded by a world of complexity
This is where I go to be free
This is where I go when I bleed
I wake up in the bathroom again
watching theblood drip down the drain
DRIP!
DRIP
drip!
drip
oh god
what have I done
this is no way to live
this is no way to be
I've got to get these feelings out of me
I'm not giving up
if I die I go down swinging!
I will get this off my back
get off me memories!
get off me feelings go away!!
hurt me no further
leave me alone,
go away
GO AWAY!
my story will not end that way
my story will not end today
my LIFE will not end that way
my LIFE will not end today
I'll beat this
I'll make this pain
go away
| 
Email this Poetry
| 
Add to reading list
