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Destroyed.

By: JiDonnelly

Page 1, A few heartfelt words.


The Feelings gone quicker than they came
I cannot begin to understand why
I highly doubt things will ever be the same
causing me to uncontrollably cry
to me your needs are satisfied
to you there is nothing wrong
all night I have cried and cried
for there is no reason now to stay strong
I feel I have nothing to offer nothing to give
but for you this is not the case
that without you my life will be worthless to live
while you will be happy in a stable place
for whatever reason you can no longer provide me with penetration
I hate and blame myself for the way I look
leaving me with the feeling of regret and devastation
for sharing zed body and the courage it took
if I could I would take it all back in a heartbeat
I am more insecure now than ever before
more nervous more paranoid more incomplete
my confidence could not get any lower
I love you and could not be attracted any stronger
you try to hide that same feeling for me is now gone
I cannot take grip for much longer
It is more than a struggle to hold on
and when that time comes all I will have to keep
is that personal scent that individualizes us all
and to try thinking about you without going to deep
I dread when that time comes to call
I give up on commitment on trusting and devotion
there will never be another male
that gets to see me, my body or emotion
I am simply too afraid to fail
because what is a body other than an instrument to abuse
to fiddle your own freestyle tune
other than to force upon and arrogantly use
an object at the most I assume
and because of you I know how a bodyshould be treated
which makes it so much harder to cope
like a competition where only you competed
rewarding me with no hope
I have giving up before but gave it the last ultimate test
I thought the choice was sane
knowing it is visible to you just like the rest
I willnevermake that mistaken choice again
I will enjoy being happy and enjoy being free
love and getting personal is what I most avoid
because ofyou look where it has left me..
It has left meDestroyed.

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