Where Do I Go From Here?

I am ashamed of who I am

Because of what I did,

But everyone's forgotten now,

Except for the one who didn't know.

I scream softly in a corner

Then close my eyes for a moment.

This billet-doux is my burning secret

One day I'll let you know it.

I go to the back of my closet

To breathe,

But the dead-end in front of me

Is my only way out,

My only way up.

Where do I go from here?

Because for almost a year now

I've been dead.

I've been the other girl.

I thought about doing it

But I poured that down the drain too.

It's not about them, it's about us

And the ultimate betrayl.

I wish I could have seen it coming

This unplanned failure, sudden fiasco.

It's my haunting midnight thought.

It's the reason I can't sleep.

Where do I go from here?