I cause so much confusion i n his head.
He wants his fantasies,
but doesn't want to hurt me.
Truth be told he couldn't hurt me even if he tried.
He tells me that sinced i dyed my hair that i look like one those dreams girls that little boys have,
and that fact right there drives me to please him far beyond his sanity.
Its like its not even me,
it kinda of scares me that he make me feel that intense.
I'm doing things that i swore i'd never do again,
on my own free will.
The look on his face,
right as the ectasy is about to hit him.
That face is better than a million orgasms.
His breathe starts to get heavy,
and than comes the gasps, and my body seems to feed off of his pleasure,
as if it was my own.
But sometimes it feels like he's holding back,
he tells me to let loose,
but than it feels like he's trying to protect me from something.
Just once i wish that he would let me feel the full force of him.
Let me take away all his thoughts,
and maybe for two seconds let him be truly happy.
Its almost like he's sitting on top of a mountain,
right over a waterfall,
but he's so afraid to jump,
almost like he's afraid that no one will be there to catch him.
If only he knew i'd do more than catch him,
i'd hold him tightly to me.
Attempt to make him feel like he does have something,
thats how he makes me feel.
Than there the adrealine rush i get.
that is so unrealistic.
The feeling starts in my head,
than racing threw my veins.
Strengthing my muscles,
feeding the already urge that is already being engulfed in flames.
The urge to feel sheer pleasure,
but even more so to make him feel it.
Than there's the times where i wonder if he just wishes for silence.
Without me thinking,
Just one moment to hear his own thoughts.
He has all these fantasies,
and as much as i want to make them come true for him,
he is right i am scared,
scared that if i allow things to get too good,
that they'll fall apart.
And that in the end is the majority of what is stopping.
However in the end,
i know that teh urge to please him,
and to see that look etched in his face will over power the fear,
and i'll truly be engulfed in it,
the only other thought is,
can i walk through out of the flames the same......................
to be continued.........................