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for the first time

By: krissy

Page 1, finally meeting him...............

There are somethings that i've never been able to express, kinda like when you find yourself at a lost for words. Especially to the people like love, people like Kristin Collin Henry Langsford. You know that i can still remember the first day that we met, still remember us talking from 11pm- 4:30 am that night, still remember that initial pull towards him when he walked in that backyard. I've honestly never felt like this, sometimes when he is pain i wish that i could take that pain from him atleast a little bit, and than two seconds later my body hurts right where his does, but i don't know if its our bond or just my mind. That brings me to something else, our bond, i don't know why but you know how when you fight with someone, or are doing something new that it makes your bond stronger, well it literally makes us stronger. I would die for him, if it ever came to that, there would be no other thought in my mind other than keeping him safe.

Sometimes when were kissing and his hands are wandering, i can almost feel this need to let loose. Sometimes i feel like a bitch cause i encourage it, and build it up to this big climax, and than i chicken out. Some times i think that it fustrates him and sometimes it fustrates even me. How can someone who 2 months ago knew less than i did about this stuff, suddenly be the one teaching me things. Than there are the those things that he says, sometimes they get me to, but this morning he said something and its still in my head,

"i love your eyes, your eyebrows, your lips, your nose, your chest, your tummy, your sides. I love everything on your body down to your tiny toes".

i've never had anyone say that to me before, and i almost didn't know how to react..........come on how do you react to something like that.................

Than there the sexual side of us, which is totally and completely infatuated with the other. Sometimes it gets so intense, that were breathing heavier than if we were having sex. Which brings me to that, maybe i just add that i have never had better sex in my entire life. I dunno i think that part of the reason that we are so close is that he lost his virignity to me. In my whole life i always thought that that would never happen, but i dunno, its different than it was with everyone else. Holy shit, sometimes i swear that i could just latch onto him and never let go, hoping to keep that feeling of adrenaline running through my veins just a bit longer. I dunno there are these fantasies that he has, and normally if a boyfriend told me that i'd say we'll see if i'm going to be doing that, or yeah just keep dreaming there. But, with Kris its different. I actually wanna make those fantasies come true, i want him to realize that i want every part of him, even the dark, scary ones. But, i dunno its alot different being on top, now thats an adrenaline rush for you.......

I have never felt anything that intense, i know he probably doesn't like it when i say it, but there is this face that he gets, and it drives me, and my body to keep going, even when everything says to stop. The deep breathes, and the gasps for air, the way that his hands grip my sides. I know this sounds bad but it almost sometimes feels like something out of a romance novel........

There are the little things that he does, the playing with my hair, and moving it out of my face. When he kisses my forehead, and tells me that he loves me, its like right there, in that one moment, that the entire world stopped and were just laying there, staring at eachother.............

I can still remember the first time that he told me he loved me, it was 3 days after we started going out, which by the way, the way that he asked me out was a hangman game, which i still think is the sweetest thing that anyone's ever done......

And than there is the general topic of head, let's just put it this way i never thought that i would be doing that again in my life, and Kris changed all that....

We both agree that in more than one way we have changed the other, i showed him that he could love, and he showed me that i don't always have to get hurt.

Its weird i never pictures being in love with a person with the same name as me, or who cared this much about me. Some times it almost scares me how much, and than sometimes it scares me how much i love him.

Sometimes i wonder than if i ever told him how much that he wouldn't be here, he is truly my world, and nothing will ever change that. I have never felt this close to anyone, this comfortable with anyone. It feels like we can work past everything and anything......that my friends is an incredible feeling..............

He's sleeping right beside me and its pulling on my heart strings. He looks so............

I dunno sometimes there are things that he does, and it just makes me wanna straddle him, or handcuff him, or kiss him to death, and believe me those are some pretty re-occuring temptations......

I dunno there are parts of me he found that i never even knew i had, parts that i forgot i had. He awoke so many different parts of me, i'm still wondering what i'm going to do when we have to go back to school, and we can't see eachother every moment of the day. But, than again we'll have our place.

I can honestly say that i never expected this to happen. I always heard about the whole summer love thing, never believed in it till now though. Things with him are different as i have previously stated probably about a thousand times.

Last night I got off that time of the month and the first thought running through my head was how much i wanted him inside of him, like i've said he is truly my one and only addiction. That is about the only word on this planet or even the universe that even remotely comes close to describing how i feel about him, about us. I wonder sometimes what were going to do when school starts back up and were apart from eachother for 8 hours everyday, but i'll deal with that when i have to. But this saturday i have to go to this stupid family barbeque thing at my grandma's, it will be the first time that i'm with my whole family, just the four of us since i left two months ago. Kris says that he has something planned for when i come back, and it is driving me up the wall, maybe cause i have never had someone do this for me, but than again i don't think i've ever been this much in love, its kinda scary the way that he makes me feel, how he can wake up my entire body with just one kiss. I wonder where the other would be if something every happened to one of us, i know that i couldn't take it, thats just too much to deal with, i love him...................

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