this feeling is so fustrating.
I get so close and than its almost like my body won't allow it.
I can feel him,
so close to that sancutary within me
and for some reason i pull back.
I can still feel him inside of me,
still see his face,
feel it right there,
within my grasp,
than just like that its taken away from me.
Its just like when i was a child,
i got everything that i wanted,
but at what cost.
Now that i'm older,
i have no cost,
but i can't seem to grasp that one final piece,
that will let both of us free from this battle.
Just a few more minutes and everythign would have been over with,
but once again i failed.
the roughness of his hands, adn they still grip my body for dear life,
feel like there still there,
but there not,
he had to do the kill,
and i feel like i no longer deserve another chance.
Why would i ned another one,
to ust let him down again,
to just disappoint my self again.
I can never seem to please myself,
or those in whch i love.....
that is the only word i can think of to describe this feeling...........................