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Tags: Love, Hope, Feverish


I miss you .. so so much .. It had been long ago since we last talked , time had passed but the clutterness of time makes you forget , or at least steals your conscious mind and bussiess it with the details that mean nothing at all ,, while it's all still stored at the back of your mind , a leaf still falls everyday , and a flower is still waiting ..


Submitted:Dec 4, 2009    Reads: 130    Comments: 1    Likes: 4   


The sky is grey today
i am sick
heavy breaths
foggy brain
feverish

I lay on the floor
and look at a ceiling
who is now the ground
who is a living proof
of all we had seen
of all what had been
hanging over us
like a sky
that was too tired
to even fall
to even complain
to even say anything
at all

where are you ?
voices coming from under
from a world under the ocean
from a universe behind the mountains
from a deep deep place
between my tired head
and my beating heart

where are you ?
does it make sense
to fall in love ,
before touching the skin
hearing the voice ,
or meeting the face??

Feverish ,
i call your name
i float outside my body
and embrace the air
it's cold out here
and it's lonely to face gravity
all on your own
to face a ticking clock
without having a body
to hide away in
to carry around
a longing ,
so heavy
so old ,
on your own ..
without a heart
or a brain
to shut it down
without a body
to difuse it

feverish ,
i am going insane
sweating ,
pain
cold
and many sleepless nights
long hours of nothing
but staring into space
the space of not you
the empty space
that was never to be filled
with a figure ,
i had long waited for ..
for a figure
that interupts the light
and makes it exist

i close my eyes
everything starts to fade away
i hear my breathing
turning into whispers ,
murmers
echo ..
alongside your face
feverish
i fall asleep

only to hit the world of fantasy
with a tale , long started
with chapters and heros
and a prince
that was still waiting

maybe it is there ,
where things will finally change ..

You cant expect two people to see one person in the same way , we all have our own way of looking at people , and the intangible details which we add with time ..

I saw the long pauses you had when you were thinking , deeply thinking , on the times you were so lost in your thoughts about the world and how everything worked together , your smiles that were shy and sweet despite what one might think , thinking about that smile now makes my heart ache , oh how much would i want to see it right now .. i close my eyes , and it's there .. it hurts , i know that things can never be ..

I miss you so much , i miss you .. so so much .. It had been long ago since we last talked , time had passed but the clutterness of time makes you forget , or at least steals your conscious mind and bussiess it with the details that mean nothing at all ,, while it's all still stored at the back of your mind , a leaf still falls everyday , and a flower is still waiting ..
Just now , i had opened the door to the back of my mind , that cold breeze hit my face and i felt like i had waken up .. Yes , i had been missing you , and i miss you still .. where should i go to find you again ? would you ever know how much you had meant to me ? and mean still ?
Would you ever understand the feelings i had for you .. ?

When i talked , you understood , and when i laughed , you smiled for me .. I sometimes asked myself questions and wondered about the many times when the world wore weird colors and nothing made sense , all while everyone still sailed with their boats down the river , not asking about the shore where i stood watching , asking , and waiting ..
As i stood there , you came and stood by me .. we talked , and you told me that you didnt feel like sailing either , that you felt like something was wrong indeed .. we stood watching them, and through that , i found myself liking your company ,and the way you cast a shadow on my face when we talked , being taller .. and because you always stood in front of me when we talked and looked in my eyes , it was too important , you knew that as well ..

You took my hand and we jumped into the water , we swam and felt the coldness of the water on our faces , i laughed so much and so did you ..

They sailed with their boats while we stood there watching , waiting , falling in love ..

I miss you ,,

stay safe


master of fear - the final scene © 2009





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