Even though they tell me,

I wasn't myself back then,

What they don't realize,

Is that they're wrong.

I was more myself then,

Than I had even been.

I was letting my true feelings show for once,

Instead of only thinking them in my head.

Even though my blood was thick with diease,

I was still able to feel.

I had something to live for,

Things to look forward to.

But when I made my greatest mistake,

And things began to change for the worse,

I lost sight of all that,

And it was lost forever.

I don't remember who I was, or who I am.

I can't remember anything about me.

I hardly remember my own name,

Or the way I used to feel.

Happiness, love, and acceptence,

I can't remember any of them.

I keep telling myself,

This is all just a bad dream.

It feels like I should wake up any second now,

To find myself the way I used to be.

But I know it's never to become.

I lost my only chance.

I've forgotten myself,

Lost in all the sorrow and numbness.

I'm waiting for someone--anyone,

To take me away from here.

Take me away from this hell I live in.

I've done things I'll never be able to forgive.

I would give mylife to take it all away,

And set things right again.

But I cannot.

They say I wasn't myself.

They say my mind wasn't right.

But truthfully,

That demon that was once inside me,

Even though it was tearing me apart in places,

Let me feel.

Before it came alone,

I was numb just like this.

It wans't until the demon and I became one,

That I started to feel again.

It helped me see things clearly,

And feel a warmth that I'd thought was lost.

But now they've slayed my demon,

And it's never coming back to me.

Even though it was slowly killing me,

Part of me misses it.

It was a part of me--part of who I am....or who I was.

And they killed it.

They killed part of me.

Now I am nothing.

I have nothing to live for.

For once part of who I really was,

Had begun to shine through.

But as soon as it did,

It was forced back down again.

This only proves,

That the real me will never be accepted.

So I'll put back on the mask,

Forget all that I loved,

And listen to what they say.

I have to let it all go,

So maybe it will stop hurting.

I just have to let it flow down the creek...forgoten.

Who was I?

Who am I now?

I will never find out.

It's too late for me to be pulled out again.

For I have forgotten myself.