Submitted: Apr 27, 2008
Reads: 1097
Comments: 41
Likes: 9
I run to my room
I lock the door
I pick up my knife
I sit on the floor
I turn up my music
I let my tears fall
I cut my arms twice
I hug my old doll
I think about past times
I know he’s done this before
I want to forget
But I hear him pounding on the door
I want to hide under my bed
I want to drive away in a car
I want to be safe in my coffin
I refuse to get another scar
He has hurt me one too many times
I never want to go through the torment again
I’ll be normal
I’ll never be able to say, “Remember when…”
So I pick up my knife
As I sit on my floor
I slice my wrists fast
As he breaks open the door…
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Comments:
i love this!!! makes me sad and reflect to my past though :'( but you did a great job capturing the mood as usual! lol its moving :) good job tori
Posted: Apr 28, 2008
Punishment
(not registered user)
Hope it didn't happen to you emoheart.
Sad read. But great poem. The emotion was well-captured.
Keep writing leaf-talker ^^
Posted: Apr 29, 2008
Such a very srong subject and you covered it really well heart in mouth as i read this and the thoughts well they ran wild....you must write some more...you know what they say...the more you write the easier it becomes...well done very powerfull stuff....
Posted: Apr 29, 2008
I agree with mum55: this was a powerful subject and you expressed it beautifully. It flowed very well and it had my eyes glued to the page. Definitely well done. Usually it's hard to force out a tough subject but this was good.
:)
-SnowQueen
Posted: May 2, 2008
see that is a great poem that i am hoping isn't from experiecnce.it was very desriptive. i hate bland stuff. anyway keep it up.
Lydia_xxxx
Posted: May 4, 2008
oh my gosh. thats so sad.
Posted: May 9, 2008
This is really provoking...
Posted: May 11, 2008
really sad...i know alot of people who go through stuff like this...you did really well portraying it and i only hope it isn't taken from first-hand experience
Posted: May 14, 2008
hi! tori. it almost seems personal. this subject is too touchy and after the father breaks in, i didn't wish to read further. but one must face facts. ;-)
Posted: May 15, 2008
Great, but sad. Your writing style reminds me of my own.
Posted: May 27, 2008
i can really reate this is really good you make really good imagery it's impressing.I loved it though can't wait to read more!
Posted: May 27, 2008
veeerrry good. thisis really sad though.
"I run to my room
I lock the door
I pick up my knife
I sit on the floor"
that is my favorite stanza.
Posted: May 31, 2008
haha, awsome.
although i must say...it hits very close to home on my childhood...but it was a gr8 poem!!
Posted: Jun 9, 2008
this is very well written and really captures the emotion its soooooo sad to know that for some this is a reality it saddens me to know that some kids out there feel that to ease the pain of life they have to inflict more pain upon themselves a lot of people could not write about such a sensitive subject as well as you have good job :)
Posted: Jun 19, 2008
Its really well written.. And if anything, I can empathize with the poem :(
But it's really evoking.. Touched a string in my heart :)
Posted: Jun 24, 2008
oh sweetie.... :( this is sad and reminds of way tooooooo many things
Posted: Jun 27, 2008
oh but great job
Posted: Jun 27, 2008
danny4ever
(not registered user)
wow tori ur talented keep wrighting plz
Posted: Jul 3, 2008
amazing...
sad, but truthful its what goes on i guess
really well written i love the first stanza
keep writing :D
Posted: Jul 9, 2008
wow that was a very well written, emotional and raw poem. I really liked it. Congrats on a poem well done!
Posted: Jul 20, 2008
i never cease to be amazed how a poem as strong and touching as this , can come from such an horrific subject .
you are a very talented lady.
Posted: Jul 29, 2008
what?
that's so sad:(
Posted: Aug 8, 2008
Wow. You really captured the emotion with that. Very good! (I hope this isn't from personal experience....)
Keep up the good work!
Posted: Sep 10, 2008
Feelings contradict me on this one, i feel the pain
the theme is good, but i feel lacking,
Was a good piece to read!
Please do read some of my work :)
Posted: Sep 26, 2008
hay this was hmm, alright. i mean yea the ryming anfd flowyness was there but well when you see more than one poem on this topic all the others seem the same as this one so yea its o.k, i liked the rhyming though hehe
Posted: Oct 15, 2008
I have a feeling that the poem was fine at first,but you are afraid to trust that strong spirit inside,the one that grabs for the pen,to get out,,,,,
Posted: Nov 6, 2008
Amazing. I really loved it. It was well thought out. It really shows truth about what child abuse does to a kid. :)
~Lauren
Posted: Nov 15, 2008
HopeXP
(not registered user)
omg, bril. I luved it, so dark....
Posted: Nov 19, 2008
That is awesome FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: Nov 27, 2008
aww, so sad....yet so touching...
Hey, quick Q, would you mind if I posted a link to this on my website....I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to ask first....please?
HopeXP
Posted: Dec 3, 2008
I hope that someday i can acheive the emotion and passion that you've displayed here in this poem. Great read.
Posted: Dec 5, 2008
XxEmoheartxX,
I sensed the reality of pain felt by the protagonist in your poem, fearing for their safety. The sense of self-mutilation and self-inflicted pain, captured my heart, as I anxiously leaped to the end of your piece. WELL WRITTEN, I am inviting you to read my essay, entitled "THE SPIRIT OF MAN, THE CANDLE OF THE LORD", answering a powerful question, WHAT IS SPIRITUALISM AND CAN THE DEAD SPEAK TO US ?
Sabbay :)
Happy Holidays & New Year !
Posted: Dec 29, 2008
very deep and well written. And again it makes me feel what the narrator is feeling so awesome
Posted: Jan 3, 2009
This is so sad.I almost started crying.But i love it.I love all your work.
Posted: Jan 25, 2009
Speechless....this is...I'm at a loss for words...
Posted: Jan 30, 2009
That was a great poem, you wrote it really well. I felt an intense emotion reading it.
Excellent job!!!
Posted: Apr 8, 2009
what can i say.
its..............
P
E
R
F
E
C
T
.
Posted: Apr 26, 2009
wow it a beautiful poemm as always
Posted: Jun 11, 2009
wow that was a great poem. did the girl die?
Posted: Aug 19, 2009
if I had one wish, I would wish that I could see inside ur mind for a day. It would make me very happy before u get famous.
Posted: Oct 13, 2009
