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A girl sits in the rain and remembers her rape. View table of contents...
Submitted: Jun 16, 2008 Reads: 322 Comments: 23 Likes: 11
I walk in the rain
So no one will see me cry
I attempt to fake a smile
Even though I truly want to die
I close my eyes tightly
I sit down on the side walk
My smile fades as the memories return to me
The memories I tried so hard to block
I begged him to stop
But he wouldn't
I tried to push him off
But I couldn't
He overpowered my weak body
He defeated my naive mind
I thought my life was perfect
I thought this world was kind
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This is beautiful . It's about a very _______ subject , but it's still beautiful . Your imagery is vivid , and 'he defeated my naive mind' is somehow my favorite line .
Posted: Jun 16, 2008
Tori, you are very powerful with your words:)
Posted: Jun 16, 2008
You captured the emotion very well, leaf girl :)
Posted: Jun 17, 2008
this is deep and very powerfull you can feel the emotion it was great
Posted: Jun 17, 2008
did anything like this happen to u tori??!!?
Posted: Jun 17, 2008
T-kitten... yew rock i loveses you (as a friend of corse lol)!
Posted: Jun 17, 2008
tori , this is indeed powerful....
Posted: Jun 18, 2008
hi! lydia. ur life was perfect but the world is not always kind. alas! the rapist had his day and the victim her say. well done. lol. ;-)
Posted: Jun 18, 2008
this one is very sad to read as i soooo hate to know that such awful things happen to women everyday but you have written it well and with tons of emotion and i like the fact that you feel comfortable writing about this type of subject cuz the more attention that is brought to things like this maybe the more we can help fight it ya know :)and i wont dare ask if this actually happened to you as that is to personal and you dont really know me and i know how unconfortable that would be but i will say that if it did happen to you i surly hope you have found someoneto talk to about it as talking always helps :) now back to the poem GREAT WORK :)
Posted: Jun 19, 2008
i won't say i enjoyed the poem . the fact you felt you had to write about such a subject fills me with sadness , sometimes i'm ashamed to be a man . the poem did touch me deeply and you have a huge talent .
terry
Posted: Jun 19, 2008
wow luv ur poem tory great work just u know how to pull people by your work u betta b a writer wen u get older u hear cuz i wanna read ur work
Posted: Jun 19, 2008
I do not know how to react to this, it is such a realistic part of our worlds, a truly sad poem and one I like, like.... because it is so important for you to write about and like because you have done it so well.
Posted: Jun 21, 2008
wow,
theres a lot of emotion in that poem.
Loved it
:]
Posted: Jun 22, 2008
Great work Tori.
Really touched me =]
Posted: Jun 24, 2008
Dark and beautiful. It's very powerful for such a touchy subject. Good job.
Posted: Jul 4, 2008
That is a good poem. I love reading poems by other people. I'm a poet too so I know how important it is to have opinions of ones work. I enjoyed the poem very much.
Posted: Jul 5, 2008
Its so moving.
You are very talented :)
Posted: Jul 5, 2008
hi
In your poem i think there is a great combination between
an attempt and result,great emotion.
please read my essay on truth and give your comment.
thanks
Posted: Jul 5, 2008
Whoa. This was . . .goodness, I can't even put to words what I am feeling right now. . .
Posted: Jul 5, 2008
wow this is really really good! Keep it up ^_^
Posted: Jul 5, 2008
Wow, this is very good and I liked how I could see her just sitting there in my mind. A very hurtful and upsetting subject and I'm so very sorry if this was a personal experience, but you are a very talented writer so please don't stop writing.
Love Always,
Erin
Posted: Jul 6, 2008
hi, that was so simple, yet so powerful. good work!
Posted: Jul 6, 2008
Wow that was
beautiful?
I don't know how to describe it :]
I really liked it though
((Could you check out some of my work...I tried to comment you on your page but it wouldn't let me))
Posted: Jul 7, 2008
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Other writing by XxEmoHeartxX Kidnapped... My Almost Happy Ending To My Dearest Love 3 Days With Him Perfect Doesn't Exist More..
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