I sit there,
Staring at your cold body.
Why aren't you breathing?
They promised me you'd be okay.
I can't get ahold of my thoughts or feelings,
And, honestly, I could care less what I'm feeling.
I feel a sharp sting and I get the feeling.
I start to scream your name,
Maybe you'll hear me,
Maybe you're "asleep."
I handle it like a child,
And use pretend words to describe it all.
They hold me back,
From going into a violent rage
And maybe killing you more.
I sit near the hospital bed.
The only sound is the beating and breathing of the machines.
I scoot closer,
I question every little thing that happened last night?
I ask myself why why you were driving last night?
How you ended up flipping 3 times?
Why you drank so much?
I shake it off,
As I feel the tears burning.
I grab your hand and kiss it.
I take in your smells
And keep holding on
Until you're alright again.
The nurse walks in,
She tells me to go home and see my family,
There's nothing I can do,
But I refuse.
I want to be the first person you see when you wake up,
And if anything goes wrong,
I'll be there to warn them, first.
I stare at the empty white walls.
They seem so dull, but vibrant,
Like birthing a new beginning.
I lean over and whisper in your ear,
"I'm so sorry. I should've been there sooner."
I can't blame myself,
But I can't bring myself to say it was your fault.
I kiss your cheek and sigh.
I'll keep holding on until you're all right, again.
We'll make it through this...
But, already, I'm missing you.
I wish you would make some sort of sound,
To let me know you hear me,
Or even see him,
Feel my presence..
But, until then,
I'll stay right here,
And hold your hand
Until the end.