Hey. This isn't your typical love story where I meet the love of my life, we overcome a struggle, and we live happily ever after. It's the story of a girl who goes through life with the goal of finding herself, and wondering about love, friends, her future, and the journey from child to young adult, and the vast mystery of how people change. Hello there, my name is Kaitlyn, but most of my friends call me Kay. I'm just a silly eighteen-year old girl. I'm the girl with the crazy curly hair, and pretty caramel skin. I don't know what I want for myself in the future, but to be happy. I'm nothing without my amazing best friends. My friends and I have a great summer ahead of us before we go away to college, and we plan to enjoy every second of it.
Maybe I should start off by telling you about my best friends. Melanie. Everyone calls her Mel. She's the absolute best person I know, in the whole entire world. She's a skinny, pretty, light-skinned girl with long, black hair. She's been with me through it all, potty training, skinned knees, when boys had cooties, the first time I got my period, my first boyfriend, my first heartbreak, the first time I got completely wasted, my college acceptance letter, and everything in between. I've known her since I was born, calling her my best friend would be an understatement. She's my sister; blood couldn't make us any closer. We've been to the same elementary school, middle school, high school, and now we'll be going away to the same college at the end of this summer, and I honestly can't wait. My other best friend is Nina. She's the most down-to-earth, cool, sweetest girl I've ever met. Her beauty is so subtle and mysterious, it attracts guys so much, but she never gives them the time of day. Sometimes, I wonder how she does it. If I got as much attention from guys as she does, I would love it, but she's not that kind of girl. I've known her since sixth grade when we were both in the nurse's office faking a headache, and have been pretty cool since. My other best friend is Donovan. We all call him Dee. He's Mel's boyfriend, for about a year and a half now. They look pretty cute together, and I love him so much. I met him in ninth grade gym class, when he would always ask me to play him one-on-one, and I'd always lose. Him and Mel got together halfway through junior year, and he became one of my closest friends. He's tall, and muscle-y, but not in a body builder kinda way. In a nice athletic kinda way. Basketball's his sport. We're always there at his games supporting him. Wherever the games are, we're there. You can call us his personal cheerleaders. But yeah, he's super sweet, and very smart. A bit of a clown sometimes, and such a lame-o, but he's my guy best friend. I have a bunch of friends, but these are the people you'd find me with on any given day. I love them so much, and honestly I don't know where I'd be without them.
I think it's about time I tell you about my love life. Well, I had my first real boyfriend when I was 14. His name was Mark. He was so cute, and so sweet, and so understanding, and so perfect. I met him the summer before I went into high school. It's sorta cheesy how we met. I was at the roller rink with Mel and Nina, and it was my first time skating. To my disadvantage Mel and Nina happen to be really great skaters, so they'd compete with each other and show off, while I was stuck holding on to the wall. I got tired and frustrated of being stuck, so I just tried to skate my way to the exit, and failed miserably, and fell on my ass. As I'm layed there in pain, this incredibly cute guy rolls up, and offers to help me up. Once I'm up, I thank him, and tell him that it's my first time, and I suck. He laughs, and tells me that it'll be okay. He offers to teach me to skate, and help me around the rink. Imagine, the cutest boy in the whole rink, holding my hand, teaching me to skate. That day, I not only learned how to roller skate, but I also got Mark's number. After that, we'd hang out, and he invited me to a couple parties and stuff, and then at one party, we were dancing, and he leaned in and kissed me. It was the most romantic thing ever. He asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend, and I couldn't say yes fast enough. Funny enough, it turns out we were going to the same high school, but he was a year older, still, we spent a lot of time together. We went out for a couple months, and things were wonderful. Till this day I don't know how I got so lucky to find a guy like him. Unfortunately, he was having a lot of problems at home because his mom and his step-dad weren't getting along so well, and his mother had turned into an alcoholic. His real dad was a soldier and he died at war in Afghanistan when he was seven, so it wasn't easy for him to see his mother with a new man. His stepfather would constantly accuse his mother of cheating, and would sometimes hit her. Mark would get involved in the fights, and sometimes end up getting hurt too. One day, his stepfather took it too far, and gave Mark a black eye. Mark hurt him real bad, and sent him to the hospital, and then, he was sent away to a foster home because of his mother's alcohol problem. I spoke to him a couple times after that, but he was so far away, and we barely saw each other so things just died out. I haven't spoke to him in over three years. I only wish him the best, and I really hope he's okay. I regret nothing from that relationship. After Mark, I did have a couple other relationships, some not so serious, some a bit more serious than others. I also had one major heart break. His name was Cameron. He played me like a fool. I was blinded by love, or better yet infatuation. I honestly don't know how I was so stupid, but I was young, and he knew all the right words to say to get me on his side. I was sixteen, and he was nineteen. I met him at Dee's friend's, Ian's party. Man, that was one crazy party. We were all drunk, and I don't know how I caught Cameron's attention, but I did. I spent most of the night dancing with him, and talking, and spilling drinks, and laughing. I thought it'd be one of those one-time things. But, somehow he got my number, and called me the next day, saying how he couldn't stop thinking about me, and how he'd love to see me again. Who was I to turn down a really cute older guy? I accepted to hang out with him again. He was the perfect gentleman. He was the best boyfriend ever. He met Dee, Mel, and Nina and, I met his closest friends, Ty, Will, and Kevin. They were so hilarious, and they'd love it when I hung out with them. We'd go to the movies, to dinner, bowling, hang out in his house, parties, everything was so much fun at first. Then, he started to get real jealous. He'd always call me, and ask where I am, who I'm with, why I haven't called him, and me being the naïve child I was, I'd give in to his mind games. There was a point where I couldn't even hang with my friends because he thought I would always choose them over him. It got so bad, that I would get detention in school intentionally, so I wouldn't have to go see him. I stopped feeling the love, but I really wanted to stay with him because I knew, or thought, that beyond the crazy jealous guy, was the sweet guy I met months before. I was so afraid to break up with him, that I sucked it up, and tried to give it another shot. He calmed down, and things were going pretty good. He'd started hinting around about sex, and I had told him that I'd do it when I'm ready, and he was pretty patient, for the most part. One day, he asked, "Kay, when are we having sex? I understand you're not ready, but when will you be ready? How can I show you I love you, if you don't trust me with your body, your mind, your soul? I promise you, I won't make you do anything that you don't want to do, but I honestly feel like this is the kind of bond, the kind of closeness we need to take our relationship to the next level. I love you, just know that". Of course, I fell for it, and we had sex that same night. I felt so awkward afterwards I could barely look him in the eye. We only did it that one time. He thought that after my first time, we'd do it anytime he wanted, and it frustrated him that it wasn't that way. He'd feed me all types of bullshit on why we should continue to have sex, and why it's good for our relationship. Mel, Nina, and Dee had told me that I was in way over my head with Cameron, and that the best thing to do was dump him, but I wouldn't listen, I fell in love. Head over heels in love. One day, I decided to surprise Cameron at his house, and spend the night, and if he wants, I'd even have sex with him, no matter how uncomfortable it made me. If it made him happy, I was happy. He had given me a spare key for all those days I'd cut school to go to his house. Before I can open the door, I hear moaning, and laughter. I quietly go inside, and walk to his room, surprised to see the door wide open, I look inside and see him having sex with another girl. I couldn't help but just stand there unnoticed, and then my first thought was to yell, "CAMERON!" He quickly looked up, and got off the girl. I ran to her, and grabbed her by the hair, and dragged her off the bed. To my surprise, he told me to get off of "Nicole", which was the girl's name. He pulled me into the hallway, still naked, and told me that it was my fault for coming over unexpected, which causes me to lose my mind. "It's MY fault that you're fucking cheating on me? Cameron, really? That's your sorry excuse? I come over to fucking surprise you, spend the night with you, and your fucking excuse is it's my fault that I'm trying to be a good girlfriend, and I still get cheated on?" His response was, "You weren't giving me what I wanted, so I had to look for it somewhere else Kay. You took too long to have sex with me, so I found Nicole. I've been fucking Nicole for about four months now." "So you've been cheating on me, for the majority of our relationship? Cameron, I love you, why would you do that to me? I thought you loved me. Nicole is just for sex, I'm the one you love. Please don't do this to me. Please. We can work this out", I sobbed. "Kay, you don't fucking get it! I'm done! I never loved you. I thought it'd be easier to get in your pants, but you made it so fucking hard, and once I did, you only let me do it once? I'm sorry baby girl, but you aren't worth all the months I've wasted on you. I NEVER loved you, I just wanted to get you in my bed, and I did. You're useless to me now. Please leave, before I have to kick you out, and give me my key back. We're through. Never come back here again", he yelled. I ran out crying, so embarrassed, feeling so stupid, and used. I stayed over at Mel's that night, crying myself to sleep. I apologized to her, Nina and Dee for not listening to them when they told me that Cameron was bad news. After Cameron, I found it so hard to trust guys that it's been impossible to get into another relationship. I didn't see Cameron for a good two years after that. But of course, that's another story, that'll come later on. For now, all you need to know is that Cameron put me into a great depression, but in a weird way I should thank him for making me stronger, and showing me that most people can't be trusted, and when you think you know a person, they are so quick to change on you, a lesson I should've learned thanks to him, but unfortunately kicks my ass later on, but that's also a story you'll find out about in due time.
I realize that you know about my best friends, my ex boyfriends, even about my ex boyfriend's friends, but I haven't told you anything about my family yet. I am the daughter of Wendy and Thomas Martinez. My parents have been married for 19 years. I have a younger little brother, Thomas Jr., but we call him Tommy. He's 10, and he's so adorable, very very annoying, but I love my little brother. We're very happy, just us four. We live in the nice town of Allentown, P.A. I love it here, it's so peaceful, and everything is a small drive away. My car isn't the prettiest, but it gets me to where I need to go. This summer, my parents have decided to go on a second honeymoon. They asked me where I wanted to stay, and I decided that I'd stay home alone, since I am old enough to take care of myself. Tommy was dropped off at our grandparent's house in Philly. My parents were gone all summer, and I'd have the house to myself. I'd throw slumber parties with Mel, and Nina, and sometimes Dee, but all he was interested in was getting Mel alone in another room. So a lot of the time, I'd be alone with Nina. All those times it was just us, we'd talk for hours, and I'd get to know her a little better. She'd tell me her secrets, and her thoughts, and her views, and I admired her for all of it. Until one day, she told me she needed to tell me something, but I had to swear I wouldn't tell anybody. It was an awkward conversation, but it went a little something like this:
Nina: Kay, I've been keeping a secret from you guys, and I need to tell someone, I can't hold it in any longer. But, you have to promise me you won't tell anybody, especially Mel and Dee.
Me: Nina, you're scaring me, what is it? I promise, this stays between us.
Nina: Well, I sort of.. have this huge crush on this guy..
Me: (Sighs) That's all? (Starts laughing) I thought you were going to tell me I'd have to be planning a baby shower or something. Who cares if you like someone? So.. who's the lucky fella, do I know him?
Nina: (Starts laughing) Oh hell no, no babies. But, seriously, it's more than a crush, I'm in love Kay. In total, absolute, head over heels love with this guy, and there's nothing I can do about it.
Me: In love? Geez, who is he? Why can't you do anything about it? I don't get it Nina. What's going on?
Nina: It's Dee. I've loved him for two years, but Mel started going out with him, and I couldn't say anything, and seeing them together kills me.
Me: What? Are you serious? Why have you waited so long to say something, I mean why now?
Nina: I don't know. You and Mel will be going away together, and me and Dee will be going away together too. Maybe after they'd be away from each other, they'd break up or I don't know, something. Plus, I promised Mel I wouldn't say anything, but I can't stay shut anymore. (Pauses) She's cheating on Dee, and I thought maybe.. he'd find out, and I'd have a chance with him, some time.. in the future. But, he hasn't found out, and I don't want to be the one to tell him.
Me: She's cheating on Dee? How long has this been going on? And, she told you? No offense, but I know her longer, why'd she tell you instead of me? Who's she cheating on Dee with? Nina, I don't know if thinking about a future with Dee is most important at a time like this, after all he has been with Mel for almost two years.
Nina: It's not fair Kay! It's not fair! She has an amazing guy, who loves her, and she cheats on him with Ty! She's been cheating on him for about three months. I would do anything to get Dee to look at me the way he looks at her. It just sucks, and I don't know what to do Kay, help me!
Me: TY? Ty, as in Cameron's friend, Ty? You have got to be kidding me. I can't believe this. What are we gonna do? I'm not supposed to know about this, but I can't do this to Dee. It's not fair. I think it's best if you told him, you have all the right Nina.
Nina: Yes, that Ty. You're right. Just not right now, but I promise you I will.
We dropped the subject due to the fact that Mel and Dee were in the house, and could walk in on us any second. We began to talk about Pretty Little Liars, because Nina and me were obsessed with that show. About 10 minutes later, Dee and Mel walk in with crazy sex hair, and a big grin on their faces. Nina and I get real quiet, and Mel asks, "So, why so quiet?", to which I respond, "Oh, nothing just talking about stuff." Mel is quick to reply, "Keeping secrets, I see." Knowing what I now know caused me to subliminally throw her under the bus, "I'd never keep secrets from you, cause I know you'd never keep secrets from me", and I gave her a huge fake smile. She quickly changed the subject, and asked if we wanted to order a pizza or something, and then I knew Nina wasn't lying. I couldn't help but look at Mel, and wonder why she told Nina, and not me. Why is she even cheating on Dee? Why? And, out of all guys, with Ty? It pains me to go behind my best friend's back like this, but I vowed to find out everything. I was determined to put an end to this little games of hers.
I was enjoying my summer like no other, hitting the beach, and the pool, and the park, we even went to Dorney Park, which is a few minutes away from where I live. Oddly enough, Mel wasn't even acting weird, she was acting like my normal, keeping-no-secrets-from-me best friend. It worried me that she can be guilt-free knowing what she's doing, but like I said, I'm going to find out everything. But before I could find anything out, something happened, and well, it happened like this. I was leaving Walmart, and in the parking lot walking back to my car, when I hear a familiar voice call out to me, "Kay, wassup Babe?". I turn around, and my heart nearly drops when I see Cameron standing there, looking the same as always, not having changed one bit. I smile awkwardly, and wave, then continue to walk to my car. I, then, hear his footsteps after me, and he whispers in my ear, "I only get a wave? How about a kiss, for good times sake?". I turn around, and say coldly, "You were the one who dumped me, remember?". He stares into my eyes, amazed at how I've grown and matured. He says, "You look good, Kay. (Pause) I mean you look beautiful as always, but you've grown so much. What I'm trying to say is.. I miss you". I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I don't know if maybe I still had feelings for Cameron, but he seemed so sincere, so I replied nicely this time. "Thanks, so how have you been?" I said, in the nicest way I could. He got all excited, "I knew you weren't the type to hold grudges, Kay. I've been good. I work down at Value City, and I'm going to school part-time. Maybe, we should get together sometime", then he leans in and tries to kiss me. It honestly took all I had to push him away, step back, and say, " Look Cameron, I'm glad you're doing great, but you hurt me. A lot. I've moved on, and I'm also doing great. We can't just pick up where we left off". He starts laughing in my face, and it sort of creeps me out. "Kay, that was 2 years ago. When are you going to forgive me? Things weren't going as well as we'd hope, but c'mon, we've both matured, and I think we can work this out". Now, I was the one who began to laugh. "Ha, 'we can work this out', I believe I said those same words, when I found you fucking another girl! Cameron, when are you going to realize, that this isn't about you?! It's not a matter of me forgiving you, and then forgetting everything you did. It has been 2 years, and I've never been happier. I think breaking up was the best thing that could've happened to us. Now, if you don't mind, I gotta go". As I turn around, and begin to walk to my car, Cameron grabs my arm and spins me around, and says, "I'm trying to do the right thing here, and you won't even hear me out? No, Kay. Get the fuck over it. I cheated, and I'm sorry, now can we please talk?!" My arm starts to hurt because he was holding me so tight. "Cam, you're hurting me. Please let go." He pulls me in closer causing me to drop my bag filled with a purse, a make-up kit, and a new flat-iron. "We're going to be together, whether you want us to be or not. You're gonna be my girl, and you're gonna get in my bed". He grabs me tightly, and kisses me aggressively. I push away, and begin to yell. He covers my mouth, picks me up, and starts to walk towards his car. As I'm on his shoulder, I kick and scream, and as corny as it sounds I just wasted money on stuff that has been left on the concrete of a Walmart parking lot. Suddenly, I hear someone yell, "Let her go you piece of shit", as Cameron drops me to the floor. It was Dee. He runs up to Cameron, and punches him in the face. I run to pick up my stuff, and call for help. Cameron and Dee start fist-fighting right before my eyes, and it was hard to tell who was winning. I yell out to Cameron to get off of Dee, but things were getting intense. Couple minutes later, Walmart security guards come and break up the fight. Both, Dee and Cameron have busted lips. Cameron looks to me, and says, "Let's go, Kay!". Dee hugs me, and I say, "No Cameron, I'm going home with Dee". He looks at me, then looks at how angry the security guards look. He gets into his car, says, "This isn't over Kay", and drives away. I began to cry, and I turned to Dee and thanked him. "Dee, if it weren't for you, who knows what Cameron would've done to me. I honestly cannot thank you enough." I hug him one more time, and he looks at me with a big smile on his face, despite his busted lip, and says to me, "You don't need to thank me Kay. I know you would defend me from any girl that was trying to hurt me". Then, it hits me. I couldn't do that to Dee. I spilled everything, even Nina's undying love for him. And, after I tell him all I knew, he looks at me in disbelief, and says, "You kept this from me Kay? I don't blame Nina, but I thought you and I were closer than that. Guess I was wrong". He walks away, and I tried to call out to him, but he just kept walking. I felt horrible, so I just went home, and slept the night through.