my nuthingness

every one is good at sumthing....right.i thought i could find that one thing i'm good... at that i enjoy but everything i do is only half everyone elts "you messed up!" i've given up on the sirch my friends are becoming dockters and loyers and artests and writers but i'm pittying myself and becoming a stay at home mom i will go to a 4 year coloage ...get "C"s in everything and i'll merry a man whom loves me dearly and will nurture my children also his 3 or 4 their will be he will be tall and strong willed he can acheve any thing he puts his mind to the main thing i could never do. in rusha so im told i would wind up in the same spot...i'm not worthless i just have nuthing to do i cant help myselfe but this path i choos i know i'll still need help i still will rely on others i'm pathetic and stupid and can't do any thing on myown i once had confedence but i messed up and i've been falling ever cince i'm sckared and i shake and these thoughts run around my head as i try to sleep i can't sleep thinking about him because i don't dreem about him i wish i could go back in time and be bold like i used to be not leting anyone pas me with out looking back to look agin i was indivedual but i thought i was herting people it actuly toulk away the one good thing in my life but im back wair i started but im much older now and i have to live the rest of my life knowing i am a lozer with nuthing special and i'll have nuthing to show for it but heart break a worn out boddy and an aditude of no hope