ALICE’S STORY GETS A “F”
Little Alice Mahoney was a very agreeable girl. She was the eldest daughter of John and Mary Mahoney and was an “A” student at the recently opened Andersonville Junior High School on the North side of town.
Alice was not a very pretty girl. She was certainly attractive enough to most of her many girlfriends and she was held in high regard by her teachers and most of the adults who came into contact with her parents for one reason or another. But, in all honesty, she did not have that sort of flair that made boys look at her in an unmistakable way that spelled physical attraction.
Since Alice was only 15 years old, she was not yet to that age that she considered her lack of sensuality to be a problem. She was much too preoccupied with important things like her grades at school, her badges in the Scouting program, the prospect of an upcoming riding exhibition, her efforts to induce the neighbors to be more involved in the “recycling” program recently started by the Andersonville City Council, and her newly launched babysitting business that had already earned her $135 in 3 short weeks.
One of Alice’s problems was the way that she dressed. She tended to throw her clothes on at the last minute without any consideration for color or appropriateness. Her braces were delayed in being removed because the stupid dentist had broken his leg in a skiing mishap the weekend before her appointment. Her non-existent breasts refused to develop and she had absolutely no need for the silly training bra.
To make matters worse, her younger sister Pamela was bragging about how she was going to the football game with Jeff Randall and she was already wearing a bra at the tender young age of 13.
She looked in the mirror and saw her hated braces still shining with resolute metallic repulsiveness. She turned sideways and saw that her bottom was nicely curved at any rate and even though she didn’t have any curves topside in front, at least she was not stooped or bow-legged. Things could definitely be worse.
It really didn’t bother her that none of the boys at school tried to look up her skirt or even wanted to pick her in a game of “spin the bottle”. Maybe it was better they didn’t pester her for silly kisses or something else. She wasn’t quite certain exactly what the “something else” was all about. She had taken the basic Biology class and understood what the birds and bees did and how all the animals managed to promulgate their species. Yet, when she tried to put that all in the context of boys and girls “doing it” or even her own parents; it just didn’t seem possible that she would be expected to do something that disgusting. When she looked at her mom, she wanted to ask some detailed questions about exactly how she was supposed to get into such a situation and why did everyone think it was such a wonderful thing to happen. She never did ask anything at all because she was far too embarrassed to even mention it.
When she received a classroom assignment to write an Essay on the subject of “Modern Romance” she saw it as an opportunity to research and answer her own questions and still get credit for writing a story.
The very first paragraph of Alice’s story began,
“Mary was ready to have her boyfriend Mark make her take it the way they showed her in the Biology textbook. She had a condom in her skirt pocket because her teacher told them it was important to prevent the spread of disease and also to curtail an unwanted pregnancy. Mary knew she certainly didn’t want to get pregnant at her age and ruin her chances of going to college…”
The next morning, Alice was called down to the principal’s office before the start of the 2nd period. She was surprised to see her parents and the school psychologist there as well. Even though she was a girl who seldom worried, she was suddenly concerned that she had done something wrong and wasn’t even aware of it.
The principal told her to sit down and in a very deep voice stated,
“We have been deciding what to do about your story, Alice and instead of suspending you, we will only give you an “F” on the assignment and recommend that you receive counseling for your depraved thoughts.”
Her mother started to cry and her father gave Alice a look that said,
“Wait till we get you home, young lady!”
Alice wanted to defend her writing, but she figured it was better to keep her mouth shut because perhaps there was something wrong about how she described the way it felt to do some of the things she had seen on the internet. She was only trying to tell a romantic story that involved the actual interaction between a boy and a girl. Her problem was she didn’t quite understand everything but just repeated what she read in the descriptions. Some of the words seemed a bit rough but she just figured it was the way adult people talked about “doing it”.
A week after that incident, Alice noticed that some of the boys at school were starting to notice her and even talked to her in the hallway like she was one of the pretty girls. Apparently, one of the students in the principal’s office had gotten a copy of her story and passed it around to the other students in the school.
Or could it be that her braces were finally out of her life and she looked like a real girl again?